Flower Thief
by SayoRiri
Summary: It's been nine months since he betrayed the girls. The girls, slowly but surely, repairs the crack from their hearts. However, finally thinking that they're all in the clear, he breaks them again. However this time, it might not be repairable. (Rated M for violence and implied sexual themes)
1. Meeting 1

Cover Art Credit:  art/Lilium-Flower-drawing-127288203

This work is also on A03!  /works/14734136/chapters/34101302

A girl peers over a bunch of shrubs, covering her knees. The night covers the sky, blanketed with black and little stars. She wears all black matching the night, not revealing her face. She pulls out her phone from her pocket, calling yet another unknown number. After a few rings, it picked up.

"Hey, I'm here," she whispers. The call drops and the girl saw for a man, also dressed in black. She sees a twisted smile on his face and frowns. "Let's get this over with, shall we." The man nods in agreement.

The girl sighs and digs into her pocket, finding a pink envelope. A large white sticky note with the words _3,000_ _dollars._ The man hesitantly looks at it and holds a gun near the girl's forehead. The girl, used to this, stands calmly and waits for all of this to end.

"Why do you do still point that gun at me. You know it's not fake. We have been doing this for weeks."

The gun forcefully presses the tip of the gun to her forehead, cold metal meeting with her warm skin. The girl tenses and looks towards the ground.

"Safety measures are important. I can't trust a worthless girl like you, not even capable of bringing a couple thousand dollars."

The girl says nothing, averting her eyes to the right. "Now, did anyone see you do this?"

"No, everyone was asleep."

"Did you lie about the amount?"

"No, the label is the exactly the amount in there."

"Are you with any weapon."

"No." The girl bites her lip before adding, "I don't even know how to use one."

The breeze flows by giving the girl shrivers, pulling the hood of her black sweater. Through her dull eyes and emotionless face, she's scared. She's more afraid that the man can see right through her.

With the gun pressed on her forehead, the man grips the envelope from the girl and opens it's greedily. He then counts the money slowly, leaving the girl annoyed. After he checks her body for weapons. She bites her lip, trying not to be uncomfortable. After he is done and lifts the gun from her forehead, the girl lets out a silent sigh of relief. She lifts her eyes to meet his eyes.

"You promise to not go near or hurt any of us?"

"Not if you can't see me." The girl frowns, unamused. "Fine, deal. Until next week."

The girl turns away, content of the result of the meeting but realized something and turns back. "You know, you can stop if you want. Therapy is a thing, take advantage of it."

"Did I ask you for your opinion, little fuck."

The girl sighs, slightly hurt. "Nevermind. Forget I said anything."

She walks away alone, the mystery figure of a man disappears. He's been doing this for weeks now and she's worried that next week, she wouldn't have enough money. She had to resort to stealing this week and still had a couple dollars short.

She's currently in debt.

However, her friends are worth it. Not paying will result in them of being watched, hurt, or even killed. Knowing the man and his unpredictability, he will do it. He hates all of them. Her love of her friends doesn't increase the amounts of money she has.

The girl prays that he doesn't notice the $250 missing.

After exiting the forestry area she was just in, she pulls off her hood, embracing the cool night. She looks to the sky, still full of soft bright lights. Her eyes averted to her house, quiet and still. Three other girls live in that house, her best friends. They live in fear. In fear that people will hurt them or kill them. She wishes that she can tell them, that they don't have to be fearful anymore. That she is paying the man to practically leave them alone. Only a couple of thousand dollars to live normal lives again! Doesn't that sound reasonable! Being in debt is better than being in fear.

Being in debt is better than being in guilt.

She quickly puts on her hood again, trying to still her shaking legs. A tear rolls down her cheek, hitting the cool stone pavement. This is not alright. This is not okay. However, she practically has no choice. She can't tell anyone, she can't do anything, she's stuck in this hopeless ditch.

She utterly has no idea how to dig up.


	2. 1

_Get out of here before I shoot," I say slowly and carefully, holding a pistol in both hands. I guard three others, my friends, that all huddled together. One is unconscious._

 _The boy in front of me sneered. He had a gun but he held it at his sides. "Fucking Monika. We both know you wouldn't do that. Your panic attacks make you weak, but fortunately, I like dependent girls."_

 _I gasp. "I thought I trusted you with that!" My voice trembles slightly as I fight to grasp my footing._

 _"And I trusted you with love. I guess we both failed to deliver."_

 _"Monika," a voice in the back begged quietly. I didn't respond, too deep in anger and despair._

 _"It wasn't love, you only wanted me to fulfill your desires. You wanted me to yourself!"_

 _"Those were only lies, Monika. I am a man that you can love and trust-"_

 _"And I believed you! I believed every word for months. But a person that I love wouldn't try to keep me to their self. A person that I trust wouldn't sabotage me and my friends!" Salty tears rolled down my face, but I didn't attempt to wipe them. I focused all my attention on the boy. All of my attention to the bullseye on his chest if it came that far._

 _The two that were conscious in back trembled at Monika's words, tears pouring from their eyes._

 _It only made the boy angrier. "Their not your friends Monika, I mean, not now. I was in the literature club for a month and I could see realize how fake they are. Sayori, the little bundle of sunshine, is probably depressed. She defended you unafraid because she wanted to be shot by me. I hope that blow kills her._

 _As for that slut Yuri, she cuts for fun. Big, slim red scars on your skin that will never come off just for pleasure? You're disgusting." The boy glares at the purple haired girl huddling in the back. The girl cries in the unconscious's one shoulder, which was Sayori._

 _"Natsuki's abused by her papa. Not strong enough to fight from a drunk like that? Pathetic, don't you think?" The girl on the right, Natsuki, burns bright red and bites her lip, trying not to say anything to get herself killed._

 _I, close to sobbing at this point, try to still my pistol in my shaking hands. I look at the floor, not able to look the boy in the eyes. It's not true, is it? Please be not true!_

 _"Isn't this a shock Monika? Do you just want to yell at them, to hurt them, to kill them?"_

 _I could hear the soft sobs that I emitted. Please don't be true, please don't be true! The boy smiles deviously. He carefully raises his gun to meet the trembling two girls and the silent third's. I try to move but I can't. Fear builds up inside me, causing me to sob even more. I can't let him do this! I can't let him kill my friends. Fight it for once!_

 _"Don't worry Monika. I can do it for you if you don't like the sight of-"_

 _"Don't!" I looked him at the eye with newfound determination. That was enough to knock him off his high horse."Even if all of that is true, and that they all hid that from me, I will never hurt them, nevertheless kill them. I love them too much for that. I used to love you like that too, but today you lost it. I have absolutely no love and trust in you". I meant it with all my heart._

 _"Monika," The voice begged again. I didn't listen, too caught up in the moment._

 _Haru grimaced and his eyes, for once, are burning with pure anger._

 _"Fucking Monika, you're always too difficult. But don't worry, I'll fix you soon." All too quick, Haru pulls up his gun and shoots. It plunged into my side, creating a hole through my clear smooth skin. Warm sticky blood arose from the wound and bloodied my uniform. Pain explodes in my body._

 _"MONIKA!"_

 _I stumbled, pushed back from the blow. I bit my lip, trying my best not to scream out with this unbearable pain that courses through my body. I stared at Haru in shock, my eyes already fluttering. Come on Monika, they won't be saved if you faint now! Even if my whole body screamed I wasn't going to let this slip by me. I grabbed my side with my free arm, raised up my pistol, hoped for the best, and shot._

 _The last thing I saw was Haru falling, grabbing his leg in pain._

 _I hoped that if I was going to die, that the literature club would be okay without me._

 _I hoped Haru would go to jail for all he has done to us._

* * *

I woke up, my breathing ragged. I grasped my chest to relieve some of the pain. I was back inside of my bedroom, sitting up on the bed. Oh.

I glanced at my alarm clock, sitting on the bedside table. 5:39. Great.

I began to stand up, telling that I wouldn't be able to sleep again and went to the bathroom. I saw that the wound from three months ago has gotten better. It was a bleeding mess when we were at the hospital. Now, it's just a couple of stitches on the side of my stomach.

The doctor said I was really lucky to still be living, the bullet almost hit my ribcage in a way that could be deadly.

 _It plunged into my side, creating a hole through my clear smooth skin. Warm sticky blood arose from the wound and bloodied my uniform. Pain explodes everywhere in my body._

After freshening up, I got on my gym clothes and readied myself for running. I ran every morning, sometimes I do it for my stress and anxiety. Other times, I do it just to get some air. It feels great getting some fresh air on your face.

Natsuki doesn't understand why I like it though. She sees it as extra exercise and who would want that? I want to get her out here, to prove her wrong, but she usually sleeps during the regular time I run. To think about it, only Yuri ran with me before. Natsuki reads her manga until all night, which leads to her complaining in the morning. Sayori usually watches cartoons and play games. She likes visual novels the best, replaying the same game over to get with all the girls.

"They all seem to like me, ya know," I remembered Sayori once saying, probably delusional from an all-nighter. "I didn't want them to get sad, so I spend time with all of them! It's fun seeing what each girl offers." Most of me thought she was just being delusional from sleep (again) but part of me gets her. Somewhat.

As long as their up doing something that makes them happy, I'm happy.

I opened the door to see a dark blue sky, lightened up with little stars dotting the sky. The cold autumn breeze hits my face, my hair flows silently behind me. I smile. The more time I have, the more time running I guess. I'm sure the others won't mind if I'm out thirty more minutes than usual.

I jogged on the vacant sidewalk, running the familiar path I been taking for years. I only went out of the path a couple times because of not knowing the neighborhood well and getting lost. Before, I didn't stray from the path because I didn't had time. Now, I don't go off the path because I'm afraid of _him_.

 _Fucking Monika, you're always too difficult. But don't worry, I'll fix you, soon."_

I shivered at the thought. Those words had always scared me, keeping me up at night. What is he going to do? Is he going to kidnap me? To kill me? These thoughts had recked me for months, but they died down over time. It's been nine months, almost a year now. If he was going to do something, he would have already done it.

I shake off the memory, ridding myself of awful memories. _Him_ betraying the club. _Him_ shooting me. Me, drawing blood for the first time. Me, too caught up in the moment, determined to kill him.

 _I could've killed him. I could've killed a man. He pained me, but not that much. I could of never hate somebody that much._

It's been nine months. Nine months of hiding and terror and tears. He's not coming back. He's never coming back. I need to get that inside my head!

I'm going. I'm going to run beyond the path. I'm tired of being scared all the time! The jog became a run and soon I was sprinting on the vacant trail, passing my imaginative end line. A sacred indescribable feeling burns it's way in my chest, causing me to smile stupidly. It wasn't fake, staged, or forcing like many others. It was pure and welcoming, but strong and pure. My confidence shined through with each step, pushing through the now unknown land.

I thoroughly believed there was no reason to be afraid anymore.

* * *

I arrived at the house a little later than I usually do, running a little father than most days. The confidence still in my soul burns with pride, a wanting to run another mile, but I couldn't. The other girls don't know where I was and I don't want them to worry.

I opened the door to be rushed with a blur of purple hair. I stumbled and tried to speak in protest, but a hand covered my mouth. The figure just hugged me limply. I hugged her tightly, wanting to comfort her but I am still confused. After a moment the figure moves away and looks up at me, her glorious purple eyes filled with tears. She moves her shaking hand away from my mouth.

"Where were you," she whispers, anger wisping up in her voice. I stood confused.

"Running," I say. She motions me quickly to keep my voice down. Natsuki and Sayori were still asleep. "Why?"

"I- He- Just come here." She leads me in the house by her hand, leading me to the television buzzing meaninglessly in the background. She sits down on my white couch, placing her hand on her mouth to muffle her sobs. "I woke up to this."

The television showed a news channel. After a regular weather report, a breaking news section appeared. A woman with a black hair bun looks directly on the screen, a serious look on her face. "Now showing live coverage of a murder scene up in Austin, Texas where a 43-year-old man gotten murdered last night. His wife, the victim, reported having seen him get beaten to death from her spot in the closet. The murderer, the victim says, looks like this." A photo appears on screen, a boy, sixteen. It's _him_.

The woman starts again. "If you ever have seen this man before, please call the police."

The newswoman fades away to a prerecorded video following the live coverage. It reported that not only that this person killed that man but four other people. I stumbled when I saw the photos. "Yuri. Are they-"

Yuri interrupts me before I could choke out the rest. "Yes. Natsuki's mother and Sayori's parents and brother and-and my father were all killed. By- By-" Yuri sobs again, her whole body shaking. She hides her face in her pajama shirt.

"Yuri. I'm sorry. I- Just-" I pulled the sobbing girl in a hug. Yuri clings to me tightly, wetting my gym shirt. I felt my own tears falling, I never met Natsuki's mother before. Natsuki says that her mother was very caring and kind to her, but had to leave because her father was just too much. Her father kept the house they were living in and Natsuki. Natsuki's mother visited once a month, but Natsuki wouldn't let us meet her. She says her Papa watches all interaction with her and her mother. She's doing this to keep us safe.

Sayori's family was like a second to me. Sayori's parents were so supportive of her, and really welcoming to all of us and me and Sayori's relationship. They also tried to cheer her up if she ever has one of her not so good days. Her little brother was just like Sayori, cheerful and energetic. They were just going to a vacation the last time we saw them. Sayori didn't go, caught up in summer school since she sleeps a lot and misses valuable learning time. Yuri parents too were so nice and kind to her, she really cared for them. They were going to a business meeting when we last saw them. They never made it.

We had so much fun together.

When Yuri calms down and reducing her grip, she looks at me fearfully. "You know what's he doing, what's he's going to do next." There was no need for more explanation.

"I don't know. I guess I can stay with my aunt until the police catch him. My aunt is the only one I actually care about, he knows that," I whispered, trying to ignore the trembling in my voice.

"But are you sure? What if he kills somebody else close to you. What if he still comes." Yuri squeezes my hand. "What if you both get killed."

"I don't know, Yuri. All I know is that I can't let that fool hurt my aunt." Yuri nods slowly, knowing that she can't change my mind. I'm very independent. Stubborn but independent.

We sat in silence for a while, thinking. This was just too fast. Ten minutes ago, I was running with a pure passion, confidence roaring inside me. Now, I'm crying and weak and utterly lost. Five important people in our lives had gotten killed over a matter of weeks.

"Yuri, what are we going to tell Natsuki and Sayori," I whispered, looking at the four photos on the screen. Yuri looks at me sadly. Tear stains shone in her eyes, her hair fizzed out, she looked distressed.

"I don't know, Moni. I don't know."


	3. 2

"I don't know how Yuri had gotten sick that fast," Natsuki says, walking out of the house. It was hours later and Sayori, Natsuki, and I were walking out of the house, getting ready for school. Yuri had coped herself up in her room griefing her father. She had used the excuse of 'being sick' and surprisingly, the others brought it. She wasn't ready to act like everything was fine quite yet. Yet I, not yet understanding what really happened, still wanted to go. If both of us was sick Sayori and Natsuki would worry.

"Let's hope she doesn't catch it on to us," Sayori laughed in front of us, skipping in delight. Natsuki shrugged and walked with her while I trailed behind. How could I tell them? Natsuki and Sayori would be heartbroken. For Natsuki, her mother was the only escape from her father. For Sayori, her family was some of her greatest supporters. How could I tell them that they are all gone and never coming back?

"Monika, are you okay?" A looked up to see Sayori, concern written on her face, staring at me.

"Everything's fine," I say, my voice surprisingly light. "Let's get to school before we are late!"

Sayori had a hint of suspicion on her face, but I brushed it off.

The rest of the school day was normal. Except it wasn't.

The whole school seemed to be moving too fast. While I was stuck with this one thought friends still talked normally, teachers still push due dates on my chest, people still laughed and smiled. I wanted to scream, to cry, to show that five amazing people died over the course of a week! I wanted the school to mourn the undeserved deaths. However, people simply don't care about me or my friend's lives. Instead of being empowering, I'll be annoying, so I choked it up inside me. It felt like a weight on my mind and chest that I couldn't shake off.

Sayori kept checking on me after each class period. Natsuki's gaze was surprisingly worried.

When lunch finally came, I wished that I should stay home with Yuri. My head throbs like an unmistakeable hangover and my heart felt like at the life was sucked out of it. I was utterly exhausted.

Sayori, which was in my class that period, stopped me at the door. "You're not feeling well. Are you sure you didn't get sick?" I sigh.

"I'm fine, Sayori. It's just... It's just a bad day."

"That's my line," Sayori chuckles quietly, her eyes losing their brightness for a millisecond. "But, you can tell me anything. We're friends... We're girlfriends." She stands on her toes and kisses my cheek, giving us both flustered faces.

For the first time after this morning, a genuine smile revealed itself on my face. It wasn't necessary with my permission or because I was purely happy, I clearly wasn't. However, maybe, it was Sayori's smile. I swear, that thing could stop time.

* * *

"Yuri, can I come in?" It was after school, finally. I left before the club meeting, saying I wasn't feeling well. Which was the truth, mentally. I needed someone to talk to and Yuri was the only one who would understand.

"Sure," the voice inside said lightly. Yuri was still in her pajamas, sitting on the edge of the bed. Her eyes were huge and swollen with red from tears all day, the light was lost in her eyes, and her hair frizzed even more. She looked so exhausted and I cursed myself thinking that I was miserable. Meanwhile, she blushed at me having to look at her current condition but didn't say anything. In fact, she only merely whispered, "do they know?"

"No, I haven't had the courage. After all, the school day was hell."

Yuri frowns. "You shouldn't push yourself. I insisted you stayed home. A comfortable environment would have calmed you down some."

"Unfortanly that wasn't a choice."

"They would have understood."

"What if they kept on pushing and pushing..." I tensed, biting my lip from saying more. Yuri gaze softens and pats a seat on the bed next to her. I silently obeyed her movements.

"We have to tell them at some point, these are their family members."

"But-"

"If something happened to your aunt, would you like to know as soon as possible?"

I thought about it some and solemnly nodded.

"I think they will like to know too."

"But I can't! I can't break hearts like that! Expesscally when _he_ is the suspect! I wouldn't be able to let the words out. Fear will catch me. Fear _always_ catches me. I guarantee you, I will have another pathetic panic attack." I closed my eyes, squeezing them tightly so I won't be able to see Yuri's face. My breathing turns ragged, indicating my dire need of a break, but I kept yelling. I didn't have a choice, every once of my body was flooded with the cold waves of fear. "Am I having one now? I'm sorry! I'm sorry! I'm sorry that I'm overly sensitive! I was the only one whose family didn't get murdered and look at me! A crying mess! Why am I like this! Why-"

"Monika!" I opened my eyes to see Yuri yelling my name, her face pained. She had her hand on my shoulder calmly. "Monika focus, please."

"I'm sorry," I say turning away.

"Don't be. It's not your fault."

"It is. Don't lie to me. If only I obeyed him, No, if only I obeyed them then none of this will happen! You three will be living happily and-"

"Monika! Focus!" Yuri was now standing, a firm grip on both of my shoulders. Her face was full of despair. "Monika, please, listen to me. I'm happy that you made the choices. To rebel from your strict parents. To bravely fight against Haru. If not, my self-harming would get worse. Natsuki still wouldn't be able to trust anybody. Sayori would've killed herself at some point. You would be absolutely miserable. The creative and unique choices you made had gotten us together, made us friends, helped us in ways I myself can't even describe! I couldn't thank you enough for that! I'm sure Sayori and Natsuki couldn't either. So please, don't say things like that."

Unable to resist anymore, tears streamed from my eyes and onto Yuri's bedsheets. I was speechless, staring at the trembling but confident Yuri in shock. Said purple haired girl, for a few moments, smiled from finally getting through to me before reverting to her shy self.

"It's the truth," she whispers finally, flustered.

"I-Thank you," I finally choked out. She nods, understanding.

After a moment of recovering, Yuri moves.

"Where are you going?"

"Fixing tea," she replied, facing me with eyes full of warmth. "Want some?"

I nodded, my throat too sore to talk anytime soon.

She smiles, a smile that seems to say, _you'll be okay eventually_. I try to replicate it but instead, it seems to say _I hope so_.

"Tell me if you need anything." And with that, she goes downstairs. Yuri is really fond of her tea, having insisted to bring her own collection of flavors and herbs when she moved here. It helps to reduce the urge from cutting but doesn't prevent it.

 _Big, slim red scars on your skin that will never come off just for pleasure? You're disgusting._

I shivered as his words echoed in my mind. The insults just kept coming, shattering my heart.

 _Sayori, the little bundle of sunshine, is probably depressed. She defended you unafraid because she wanted to be shot by me. I hope that blow kills her._

 _Natsuki's abused by her papa. Not strong enough to fight from a drunk like that. Pathetic, don't you think?_

I need something to distract me, now.

I stumbled into my own room, hastily grabbed a piece of paper and wrote a poem. I enjoy writing poems, doing one every day for the literature club. However sometimes, mainly when having a panic attack, I have the urge to write. It's literally the only way I can express my feelings without disturbing anyone around me. I keep the poems safely hidden underneath my dresser. The poems, grammatically incorrect and not having little to any meaning, wait their days in the dark.

The number of poems that hide underneath there increased ten months ago.

I leaned back in my chair, content of finishing. The poem in my hands was written quickly and barely had any thought put into it. I scoffed, disgusted. It isn't perfect, so it isn't worth anything.

Stop that. My friends have taught me a better way to think.

I slowly got the folder that holds all of my unseen poems and slipped the current poem inside. I then pushed the folder back underneath the dresser. Suddenly my mind was finally clear again.

By the time I went downstairs, Sayori and Natsuki weren't there yet. I didn't expect them to be here anyway, seeing that they still at the club. A wave of guilt hits me, but I try to brush it off.

I went to the kitchen to look for Yuri. A denying silence filled the room which surprised me. I expected at least a teapot piping, the sound of tea pouring, or a page turning. However, despite the everlasting silence, the sight I was delighted with warmed me. Yuri was sleeping soundly, her head laying on her right arm. The other was brushing a page of her opened book beside her, waiting to be read. Her tea was on the other side of her, it's smell flowed through my senses.

Despite all of what happened today, Yuri looked peaceful. Even with her frizzed hair from pulling it too much and her still tear-stained face, it looked peaceful. An escape from reality is what she really needs right now.

I silently trotted back upstairs to get a light blanket to cover Yuri with. It was the beginning of autumn and I didn't want Yuri to actually get sick. She seemed to welcome the change in temperature, her lips muttering a drowsy thank you. I smiled.

On the kitchen counter was a silver tray with three mugs. Each was decorated with our names. Sayori thought it would be cool if we had assigned mugs when they all first started living in my house. We used them ever since.

After getting my mug, I sat on the couch in the living room, sipping the contents silently. For once, I was content, wanting everything to stay the way they are at least, for a little while. But things aren't that simple, we all know that, and things are getting much more complicated soon.

So, for now, I have to make the most of the time I have.


	4. 3

_"Auntie, why aren't you like mom and dad," I asked. A figure appears in the room. A woman, no older than twenty-five with short light hazel hair. Her large curious eyes glistened with light shimmering green as they acknowledged me. "Why aren't you like me?"_

 _"Well, it took me awhile, but I learned to live."_

 _"Live? I thought I was living..."_

 _"Mons, you have yet to learn the feeling of living free of any pain or torments."_

 _"How could I do that if that's all I could think about. It's all I've taught to. It's not my fault, is it..." My hand clutched the front of my shirt subconsciously as I looked away in guilt. In worry. In fear._

 _Auntie's face became stern. "It's not yours, or your parents, or even any of the world's fault! It's how society thinks and some people just crumble underneath it. Your parents were some of them."_

 _"Oh.." I looked down, my hair covering my eyes. I guess I am one of them, knowing I worry about other's people expectations every day._

 _"Hey Mons, don't be down. You can still learn! It takes a lot of time, and I mean a lot. It doesn't fully go away either, it bugs me even now. However, I think you can become free."_

 _"What about my parents?"_

 _"You have to let them go. Just this once."_

 _I nodded, my body crumbles, showing defeat. All that goes through my mind is fear. What will Mother think? What will Father think? What will the kids at school think? What will Auntie think? Silence fills the room while I think of something to change the topic with._

 _"Auntie, I'm thinking of joining a club when I reach high school."_

 _When I fearfully looked up to see her reaction, her face was full of curiosity and joy. My eyes widen in surprise._

 _"Ooo! What kind of club?"_

 _My face heats by her sudden interest. "I don't know yet. Maybe somewhere that I can speak my opinion?"_

 _"That's great!" Auntie takes both of my hands and cups them into her own. "Speaking your own opinion is great, I speak with experience." We laugh at her joke, but then my tone deeply spoils._

 _"But isn't that rebelling? Doing something without your parent's permission? I'm sure if I tell them they will say no..."_

 _"Absolutely!"_

 _I cringed, knowing what will come next, but nothing came. No sharp tongues or bitter words. No crushing my dreams. Instead, it came in a soothing voice. "However, your in a stage in your life where you can make some decisions for your own self. If you want to join a club, join it! If you want to live your life, live it! If you want to rebel, rebel! It's only in human nature and no matter what, we are all human."_

 _"But-"_

"No buts. It's _okay to live in the moment, Mons. It's just apart of living as a human being. A real human being. There's no changing to that no matter how much training your parents give to you._ _Rebel. Be free."_

 _I smiled at her words. Tears form around my eyes, and I mentally curse myself for crying, but I smile._

 _"I will! I promise!"_

 _And with that Auntie and her house disappeared._

* * *

I awoke to the sound of shuffling and a gentle hand on my forehead. My eyes stay shut, unsure whether to open them.

"Sayori, have you ever learned about personal space," a voice says, probably Natsuki, clearly in another room.

"But I want to know if she's sick. She slept for hours now," Sayori pouts.

I hear Natsuki sigh. "Just let her be, you might wake her."

"Don't bother, I already am," I say, opening my eyes. Sayori was sitting on my lap, checking my temperature with her palm. She immediately turns bright red. Natsuki was wandering in the kitchen, her bag on her shoulder.

"I'm sorry for waking you," Sayori says, her face flushed with embarrassment. I chuckle.

"It's okay. It was about time anyway." I pull Sayori in a hug and kissed her forehead. Her mood brightens, giggling omitting from the flustered girl.

After sitting up I saw that Yuri wasn't sleeping in the kitchen anymore. I asked the other girls where she was.

"Oh, she went upstairs after a few hours," Natsuki says, putting her bag on the kitchen chair. "Sayori told me she looked really exhausted though. I wonder what's up with you guys." Sayori nods in agreement.

"I swear, we're fine. We probably just caught something."

"And by caught something, you're pretty much dead. You've slept for five hours now."

I anxiously looked at the clock and, pretty much, it was 8:38. I blushed from sleeping too long.

"Wh-What! You guys watched me sleep?!"

"Sayori. Timed. Besides, I just got here."

Sayori chuckles nervously, her face bright red again. "Natsukiiiii! You weren't supposed to tell!"

Natsuki and I laugh at her embarrassment. After a while, Sayori joins in and bright laughter fills the house.

"Pwah," I gasped, wiping a stray tear. "My cheeks are burning!"

"I see you guys are having a lot of fun," a voice softly says. I looked up the stairs to see Yuri standing there, this time in a fluffy purple robe. Her hair was now in one long braid flowing silently near her legs. Her eyes weren't as red and puffy anymore, but still ached with the same sadness and will be for a very long time. Despite her mood, her lips show a small knowing smile.

"Y-Yuri! H-Hi," I hear Natsuki stutter from the other room. I roll my eyes playfully. Yuri laughs at this, covering her hand over her fragile lips.

"Hey Yuri, are you feeling better," Sayori asks sitting beside me. Though she tries to hide it, worry creeps up her face.

"Much better!" Yuri walks down the rest of the stairway, empty mug in hand.

"Ah, that's great!

"Yeah, I'm happy," I chirped. While Yuri grew embarrassed by the compliments, we glared a flustered Natsuki. After a while, she gave in.

"I'm happy too, you know," she says embarrassed. She averts her eyes to the side while we laugh.

* * *

"Who's turn is it tonight," I asked, looking at the three girls. It was an hour after Yuri came downstairs and Natsuki decided to have another movie night. Sayori was eager for the idea while Yuri and I decided for it since it will be unlikely for any of us to go to school tomorrow. So there we were, crowed on the living room couch, figuring out who turn it was.

"I guess it's mine," Yuri says hesitantly. We shivered. Yuri's movie selection is a bit on the horror side, and by bit I mean pick the scariest movie in Japan and Yuri will think it's tame. It's like nothing can scare her, nothing unless the Portrait of Markov. Even with that most of the time, she's carefully reading it, acting like nothing is happening.

Yuri catches our reactions. "Hey, that one wasn't even that gory!"

"Yes, it was! I couldn't sleep for a week after that," Natsuki huffs. Yuri sighs, still not seeing what was wrong with the last movie she brought.

"Well, I decided to tone down the horror, again, with this one. I guess we might all like this one," I hand Yuri the remote and she pulls up a page for an anime named Tokyo Magnitude 8.0.

"An anime," Sayori questions, bouncing beside me. Yuri nods, confirming.

"It's a slice of life anime where two siblings live against a really devastating earthquake in Tokyo. It isn't really a horror but a thriller. I found out that I really like thrillers in anime due to a certain someone."

Natsuki sputters. "I share my anime with her because I'm generous. Nothing else!"

"Yeah right," Sayori teased, making Natsuki's blush more vibrant. I chuckle at the look.

"Anyways Yuri, this is an anime. We can't watch all of it in one night."

"Who says we can't," I say, smirking. Natsuki turns to me, surprised. Usually, I would bother them about getting enough sleep.

"Monika are you out of your mind? Either that or I am probably missing something." She looks around the room, expecting something to happen.

"We are probably not going. Something tells me that you'll need it."

Sayori and Natsuki share a look of confusion then look at the ever-so-silent Yuri, who averts her eyes.

"Let's just watch the anime," Yuri says, clearly tense. A pain of regret from building up the conversation shots through me. I never thought how Yuri will feel. Was I too caught up in the conversation? Was I just having fun?

 _Keep yourself in check Monika. Nobody could see what you truly feel. Nobody could see what you truly have to say. That will only break the illusion._

 _Do you understand, my little girl?_

I gritted my teeth, hissing slightly. There is no time to think about that. My friends have taught me better ways to express myself. I shouldn't dwell on memories. I shouldn't be having these thoughts. We are beginning an anime for god-sake!

Focus, Monika. Please.

I was surprised when I suddenly heard the anime opening song resonating the room. Sayori was bouncing to it next to me, her grin infectious. Natsuki was on the other side eyeing the anime with a smirk and a raised eyebrow. Yuri was next to her watching the show silently. A small smile appears on her face and I think I know exactly what it says.

I hope times like these last forever.

I can't help but agree.

 _It's okay to live in the moment, Mons. It's just apart of living as a human being. A real human being. There's no changing to that no matter how much training your parents give to you._

 _Rebel. Be free._

I can't seem to stop the memories as they passed through my head, each a dear fragment in my heart. Happy or sad, they hold importance. They hold teaching. I could never forget.

Suddenly, being in this living room with my best friends and loving girlfriend, I remembered the reason I made a literature club in the first place. The major reason I haven't told anyone to this day. To have real friends. To have a real life or at least two hours of it. To be free of judgment constantly. To have an outlet to escape. I've never been so _wrong_ _!_

The literature club gave me much more than an escape, but an everlasting home.

 _Exhale the chains._

 _Inhale the freedom._

 _You're_ _ **free.**_

Exhale the chains.

Inhale the freedom.

I'm **free**.


	5. 4

This website is hard man. I don't know how others do it.

Anyways, don't expect uploads this fast anymore. I only uploaded chapters 1-5 to catch up with the Ao3 fanfic.

Enjoy!

* * *

I lay in my bed, looking up at the ceiling. It was roughly 1 am. The tv had shut off, all the lights were off, everyone went to bed. The faint echoing of the ending of the anime rings in my ears constantly. It wasn't an unpleasant sound as I found the song beautiful. I whisper the lyrics into thin air while the tune buzzes in my head.

 _"Being scared of an unseen tomorrow._

 _Being tired of who we are."_

I'm surprisingly not tired despite it being 1 am and all I wanted to do all day was sleep. I guess I just wanted to get out of that school so badly I faked being sick. I couldn't face people laughing and smiling. I can't stand people not knowing.

 _"Let's stop doing that already._

 _Tell yourself it will all be ok."_

However, I still chose to put my friends in the dark. A valid excuse? I think not. I made up my mind that I was going to tell them tomorrow. Or today. It doesn't matter, I'm telling them tomorrow. I smile at the bare ceiling, showing it teeth full of pride.

I'm doing it.

 _"Things like that will always be close by._

 _I know I had lost sight of it."_

My smile faded away. I don't blame myself, I never been one with pure confidence. At school, most of my confidence has been forced and the things I do was things I didn't necessarily want to do. My friends had helped me with that and even, before all this ever happened, my aunt.

 _"It's a little scary here, but we'll get through it, surely."_

I start to wonder what will my aunt think of me now. I left being afraid. Curious but frightened and unable to speak my own mind. Now, I still am that same person, somewhat, but I can gladly say that I have grown. She'll be proud of me.

She will also have a kick out of the stories I now have.

 _"Melody, it's heard by all the people who come and go._

 _Melody, it's in you._

 _Ah, melody, it's in absolutely everyone."_

I wonder what will my aunt react to my friends. I'm sure she will hit it off with Sayori, playing childish pranks on Yuri and Natsuki. She would be curious Yuri and her books, often going off in deep conversations. She'll have fun baking with Natsuki, the creative duo pulling off marvelous recipes.

I hope she meets them soon.

 _"Melody message."_

"Melody message."

I look up to see Sayori, leaning against the doorway in her pajamas. She had a more relaxed, loving smile on her face than earlier.

"Sorry, did I wake you," I asked, sitting up. Sayori shakes her head.

"I see Yuri's anime had an impact on you," she says, sitting on the side of the bed.

"Yeah, I couldn't get Melody out of my head." I laid my head down on her lap. She giggles.

"Ah, me too! I never knew how eleven episodes can impact me that much!"

She takes a look at the dimly lit room. It was a small thing, with light green walls and white furniture. The bed was just a regular mattress with a white painted bed frame. I hardly customize my room, I had no reason too.

"Do you mind me sleeping in your room tonight," she asks, suddenly turning shy. I raised an eyebrow.

"Your room of yours getting too cluttered even for you, I see." She lightly punches my shoulder.

"Monika, you meanie. My room has been slowly getting better!"

"Since when?"

She thinks about this for a moment and laughs awkwardly, not giving me an answer.

"It's not that," she says after her silent laughing fit. "My room just feels more lonely than usual."

"To be honest I kinda felt that too."

"Twining!" Sayori and I share a light laugh.

After a few moments of talking, Sayori and I laid down properly, facing each other. Sayori's smile lessens and her eyes drooped, but still reflects a positive beam. I smile my own drowsy smile.

"You're so beautiful," she whispers. "I hope you know that."

I felt a blush creep up my face, cursing me with warmth. "What is this? Are you okay?"

"I'm fine! I'm fine! I just realized that I'm looking at the most beautiful thing in the world. I'm so lucky!"

She takes my vacant hand sitting on the space between us and squeezes it. I felt my face heat up from a desirable fireplace warmth to the scorching heat of a wildfire.

"I love you."

"I love you too."

And that was it. Sayori falls asleep holding my hand while I am left to think about how I got wooed by a drowsy Sayori in less than .5 seconds. I'm not complaining but was wondering, _how_. The last record was .7.

I need to up my flirting game.

Seeing a flustered Sayori was one of the best things I could ever see on a thought provoking day like yesterday.

With these thoughts, I smile and close my eyes, dreaming of one to wake to.

* * *

 _"I'm really glad that you guys visited today, it's one of the nicest days," I say, smiling out to the Florida sky. My friends were visiting me and my aunt all the way from California. I really appreciate them doing this, it's a four-hour flight one way!_

 _"You can say that again! It was horrible in California, too hot for even me to bear," Natsuki complains. I laughed, a bit thankful for being in Florida, where the heat has given us it's grace._

 _"It wasn't that bad," Sayori pouts. "We have an air conditioner."_

 _"It was when it the power had gone out. Even you can't reject that," Yuri says calmly._

 _"The power went out?!"_

 _"That's a story for another time! Ehehe..." Sayori puts her arms around me to ensure that everything is alright at home, however, that nervous grin I grew so fond of doesn't help her. I hope they haven't forgotten to pay the monthly bill._

 _Please haven't forgotten to pay that monthly bill._

 _I felt droplets of sweat form from my forehead. "Sayori..."_

 _"Look! The sun is setting!"_

 _I turned and sure enough, the sky was full of light and dark blues, vibrant oranges, and a skim of purple. I was moved by it, it was a long time since I saw one from Florida._ _Natsuki and Yuri arrive by my sides, also moved._

 _"It's beautiful, isn't it."_

 _"Damn Monika, I never knew you have sunsets this luxurious."_

 _"I agree. All of the buildings crowded the one back home."_

 _It was silent for a while when we all watch the sun hide in the night. Well, until something grabbed my hand._

 _"Let's go see it closer," Sayori smiles and runs towards the shore dragging me along._

 _"Hey! Wait up," Natsuki shouts, running with us._ _Yuri silently curses herself from wearing sandals._

 _After running towards the shore, Sayori sits on the beach, her feet touching the cold water. She giggles at the sensation. I sit with her, holding my legs with my arms. Natsuki and Yuri soon join us after panting from trying to keep up. We laugh together._

 _I watched the sunset one more time, now dissolved in mostly dark blue and purple and began to think we should go back. My aunt should be home from her shopping trip by now._

 _"Is it time to get going," I ask, brushing sand off my dress. Sayori whines._

 _Yuri stands next, a smile on her face. "Yeah, it's getting dark and rather quickly."_

 _Sayori whines some more before slowly getting up. Natsuki looks at the water in thought before joining her._

 _We were walking back home, chatting up as usual. Natsuki insulted Sayori for the hundred time and Sayori was currently pouting. Yuri was chuckling at this whole thing, watching it from behind. I was about to ask what happened but a sound caught me off guard._

 _The_ _ **deafening**_ _sound came closer._

 _The_ _ **deafening**_ _sound shot Yuri in her chest and exploded in_ _ **ç̸̡̞̼͎͉̜̹̥̺̘̩̲̯͌ơ̷̩̤͇͖̼͔̝̫̰͔̝̱̮͎̳͔͔̾̃̑́̏́͂͆̊͑ļ̸̨̧̯͔̗̯̻͙͕̠̳̪͆͊͊̿̈́̿̊͒̂̄̕̚̕o̷̩̘͙̙͔͕̣̩͒̾̌̈́͛͐̚̕͜͜r̸̡̧͙͚̲̣͓͔̱̹͆̑̈́͊͜s̷͈̩̭̯̣̿̇̽͊̓̽͗͒͜͠͠͠͝**_

 _Oh, the_ _ **blinding**_ _ **ç̸̡̞̼͎͉̜̹̥̺̘̩̲̯͌ơ̷̩̤͇͖̼͔̝̫̰͔̝̱̮͎̳͔͔̾̃̑́̏́͂͆̊͑ļ̸̨̧̯͔̗̯̻͙͕̠̳̪͆͊͊̿̈́̿̊͒̂̄̕̚̕o̷̩̘͙̙͔͕̣̩͒̾̌̈́͛͐̚̕͜͜r̸̡̧͙͚̲̣͓͔̱̹͆̑̈́͊͜s̷͈̩̭̯̣̿̇̽͊̓̽͗͒͜͠͠͠͝**_

 _"YURI!"_

 _Yuri drops to the ground silently, hardly having any time to react. The_ _ **ç̸̡̞̼͎͉̜̹̥̺̘̩̲̯͌ơ̷̩̤͇͖̼͔̝̫̰͔̝̱̮͎̳͔͔̾̃̑́̏́͂͆̊͑ļ̸̨̧̯͔̗̯̻͙͕̠̳̪͆͊͊̿̈́̿̊͒̂̄̕̚̕o̷̩̘͙̙͔͕̣̩͒̾̌̈́͛͐̚̕͜͜r̸̡̧͙͚̲̣͓͔̱̹͆̑̈́͊͜s̷͈̩̭̯̣̿̇̽͊̓̽͗͒͜͠͠͠͝**_ _were bleeding out of her body in a rush. There was no telling that she was going to live. There was no sense of telling._

 _She wasn't._

 _Hardly a second after,_ _ **ç̸̡̞̼͎͉̜̹̥̺̘̩̲̯͌ơ̷̩̤͇͖̼͔̝̫̰͔̝̱̮͎̳͔͔̾̃̑́̏́͂͆̊͑ļ̸̨̧̯͔̗̯̻͙͕̠̳̪͆͊͊̿̈́̿̊͒̂̄̕̚̕o̷̩̘͙̙͔͕̣̩͒̾̌̈́͛͐̚̕͜͜r̸̡̧͙͚̲̣͓͔̱̹͆̑̈́͊͜s̷͈̩̭̯̣̿̇̽͊̓̽͗͒͜͠͠͠͝**_ _exploded from Natsuki, ringing out of her skull._

 _"NATSUKI!"_

 _Natsuki topples to the ground, her eyes fluttering._

 _I look at Sayori worrying after looking at our fallen friends. She was in a state of shock herself, her eyes wide looking at the bleeding_ _ **ç̸̡̞̼͎͉̜̹̥̺̘̩̲̯͌ơ̷̩̤͇͖̼͔̝̫̰͔̝̱̮͎̳͔͔̾̃̑́̏́͂͆̊͑ļ̸̨̧̯͔̗̯̻͙͕̠̳̪͆͊͊̿̈́̿̊͒̂̄̕̚̕o̷̩̘͙̙͔͕̣̩͒̾̌̈́͛͐̚̕͜͜r̸̡̧͙͚̲̣͓͔̱̹͆̑̈́͊͜s̷͈̩̭̯̣̿̇̽͊̓̽͗͒͜͠͠͠͝**_ _from Yuri and Natsuki._

 _And then the light in her eyes disappeared completely._

 _Sayori's eyes widen as the_ _ **b̸̨͈͍̭̖̦̠͚̬̓̂͌͘͘͜͜͝ṳ̵̢͇̣̹̹͔̩͈̦̏̎̿͂̒̊̏͑̿͝ͅl̵̡̛̫̻̟̪̺̻̞̩̻̎͜͝l̶̡͙̍̊͌̃̑͊̚͝͠ḙ̷̭̘̞̬̜̠̀̒̓̉̆̑͜ͅt̸̢̡̨̠̜͈̪͙̖̝̱̊̄̒͝ ̶̬͙̇̓̈́̃̀͋͝ͅp̶̧̟̬̪̦̮͓̥̤̫̹̆̃̽̃̉ļ̴͉͙͈̩̭͈͖̍̔̒̈̏̾u̸̢͕̼̥͍̖̭͙̮̯̐̋̾̓͠ͅn̴̼̩̘͖̞̺͈͓̖̽̉͂̊̏͒̕̚̚ͅg̸̳͈̞̀̒͊̔e̴̡̘̭̜͌̓̏̓d̵̢͈̼̯̀͝ ̶̳̝͑͐̓̔̉͝͠t̶̼̙̘̗̯͚̔͘͜h̴̨̧̧̹̗͕̱̱͚̍͂̊͌͌͛͂̉̍̆͊ṟ̴̛͖̺͉̼̾͊͆͐͌͊̈̚̚͝o̷̩̺͋̾͒̄́̿͌̓͛̈́̿͒͠ṳ̵̲̮͒̀̅͒̍̐͛͌͝g̸͍͊̒̍͌̒̿͋͗̄̍̔͐h̸̥͓̹͚̟̜͛ ̵̻̲̟̞̳̲̳̝̙̦̯͚̤͛͊̿́̅͊̈h̸̨̡̺̼̩̻̓͝ͅḛ̸̳̥̺͖͍̲͙̓̐͌̕͜ͅr̵̢̳̙̣̞̼̬̝̳̉͗̓̓͌̓̅̕ ̷̟̯̝̐̂́̍̕̕͜f̵̢̫͇̾͆͆̃̿̆̑r̶̗̦̿̆̏̓̓̐̾̚ȃ̶̧̟̲̝̯͖͖̬̬̦̙g̴͍̺̫̗̯͔͖͔̞̖͊͑̈̔͜ì̵̡̧̨̧̟͙͎̬̳̠̞̟̿̅͊͑̃͝ͅl̵̢̥̪͋̇́͊́̔e̴̼̺̼͉͛̾̊̃̄̎͋̄͐͘͝ ̵̢̹̣̱̠̠͙̠̘͕͚̝̗̐ḩ̸͓̬̖̆̏̑̄̿̚͘e̴̢̬̤̘̖̩̭̯̝̋̀͛͆̏̎̇͌ả̵͙̘͈͙̖̍͛̀̈́͌̏̄͂̕ŗ̴̛͓̠̥̟͕̗̍̎̽̍t̵̨̛͙̤̤̮̎̇̆̆.C̴̛̙̮̋̏̈́̉͒͛͐̔͘̚͝o̷̧͇͔͇͍̳͔̫̤̭̾́̒̈́͑̔̍̓͗̋͝ͅͅͅl̴̡̹̭̣̩̭̻͚̜̗̤̗̱͒̅̐̃̈́̾͆̆̑͝ơ̸̳̪̼̻̜͉̤̞̞̖͇̇̅̄̂̕͠͝ṛ̵̺̥̬̋͆̃̊ş̷̦̣̖̪̤̠̱̦̝͂͗̈́͋͋̊̓̈́͑̃**_ _plunged though the air. Sayori looked at me in quick desperation, her eyes were full of worry and fear and pain. But then they relaxed._

 _And then she smiles._

 _And then she falls._

 _ **A̸̡̨̛̤̺̯̪̞͉͎̞͇̲͇͙̮̰̞̭̮̯̰̲̱̜͈̩̹͎̩̠̤͚̣̗̰͓̰̱̜͉͍͙͎̗̬͓̬͚̫̮̳̲͖̱̙̜̱̝̪͚̽̏͂̃̃̿̆̏̊̔͑̍̄̀̒̏͒͛̿̾̓̾̚͜͜͝͝ͅͅͅn̴̡̧̡̧̨̹̰̺͔̞̹̥͓͔̫̘͔͙͉͈̻͙̣̘̠̙̮͇̫̻̬͉͍͚̖͓̦̞̲̳̰̞̘̜̹̱͉̻̯͕̘͚̩̬̺̮̪͐̇͋͗͋̀̎̚͘͜͝ͅͅd̶̛̛̻̯̣̫͎̭̘͔̙̟̱̼̼̠͔̘̦̥̻̼̝̯̪̖͓̜͈̣̝̭͕̠̲͙̠͚̩̪͇̺̰̂̓̋̊̈́̾̓͋́̒͘͝ͅ ̶̢̢̢͍̘̻̪̤̘͎̘̭͔̭̪̬̘͙̰̺̪̼̐̉́̕͜͜͜͜͠ͅt̵̨̢̡̡̛̛͈̞̺͚͖̪͇͍̮͖̯͇͇̟̭͎̥̹̹̞͈̹̫̦̆̑̀̓͋̂̽͋̿͑́͘͜͠͝͠͝͝ͅͅh̴̨̡̢̧̨̛̛͈͉̫̣̟̙̗̗̩̻̞̫̞̲͔̙͍̬͚̲̥͙͈̝̥̤̰͈̟̲̟̝̬̎̊̉̿́̋͌̉̋̈́̇̍̒̔͌͗̽͒͊̾̏̔͒̏͑̚͘͠͝ë̴̩̟̘͎̝̯̗͇͉͔͉́͑̏͌̈́̂̈́̓̉͝n̵̨̢̢̛͙̬̙̯̖͎̺̻̘̞͎͔̩̫͖̻̳̗͚͚̖̗̻̺͚͇̫̥̳̱̟̦͖̣̝̯͚̲̰̮̘̘͊̏̑̔̀̽̈́͆́͋́͒͛͑͐̚͘̚̚͜͠͠ͅ ̵̨̨̨̡̛̛̛̟͕͎̙͉̼̤͈̹͉̤̫̪̖̤̘̥͈̣̯̫̝͕̫͍͔̖̭̽̈͊̍̒͑͆̋̒̑̈́̋̏̆͗̂͋͌̉́͊͌̐͗͘͘͘̚̚͝s̴̡̧̨͈̘͓̹̳̲͈͔̣̤͉̤̳̝̭͎̹͔̯̼͈̰̍̉͛͒̃́̂͆̒̄͘͘̕̚͜͜ḥ̸̨̧̧̛̥̱͎̝͉̫̲͖̘̥͇̪̬̟̟͉̹͇͈͔̝͍̪̜̰̗̙̬͙̰̻̪͐̓͐̏̓̏̊̓̈́̏͌́͒͂̈́͆̈͆͛̌̂̚̕̚͜͝͝ͅȩ̷̡̧̪̤̭̭̙̩͎̩̙̻̗͔̺̳̺̞͕̃̈̔̐͊͐̓͂̔͑̽̋̅̄͛̀̓̇̔ ̴̨̧̧̡̢̺̮̥̜̞̘͇̹̠̩̹͚͇͙̙̺̝̦̙̠̾̓͂̂̈́̐̎́́͐͊̉̉͋̉̋͐́̃͆̋͊̎͗̐̒͛͗̑̍͘͘̕͘͝ͅd̷̡̛̛̛̛̬̯̻̻̦̙̦̤͈̗͙̠͓̠͔͎̥̩͔̓̏̉̒̌̊̄̆͊̅͆̀̔͑̓̒̌̐̍̽̉͂̇͆̑͑̋̄̒́͗̒͆͐̅͌̉̌̑͋̉̓̇͑̔͛̾̋̿̋͂̚̕͝͝͝͠͝i̴̧̡̢̨̢̛̙͓̫̮̤͍̳͉̤͚̼̜̟̪̪̙̝͈̗̰̱̮̱̰͙̳̞̩̯̩̝̹̼̗͈̞͕̠͆͂͗̍̀̈́̒̀̄̆̂̈́͌̀̒̕̕͜͠͝ę̶̢̡̨̡̡̢̛̼̞̠̮̪̣̫̘̯̥̟̠͉̗̗̳͈̣͈̹̬̭̭̲͕̪̤̱̪̝͎̳̫̦̳͔̼̩̞̹̠̮̪̳͇̙̘͎̯̤̺̯̲̈̏͋̓͐̉̇̌̍͋̀̋͂̽͌͛̆̓̒̊̾̊̉͘̕̚͘͘̚͜͜͠͝͠ͅͅs̴̨̢̛̛͚̯̲̘̜̹͍͇̻̹̖̠̙̬̠͍̜̺͚̩̙̮͚̮̯̲͍̘͚͎̻̯̗̠̮̪̭̰͔̩̠͎̳͊̊͒̈́̆̊̐̈́͛̇͑̓̉̾̑̑͐̈́̌̎̊́̊͛̒̌͂͆̽̌̈́̽̒͂̐̈̑͋͆̽͑͂̓̑͗̋̂͛͋̅͒̕̕͘͜͜͝͠͝ͅ**_

 _The sunset dissapered, in it's place_ _ **t̵̨̡̖̩͕̪̖͚͙̯̗̒̓̅̽͌̆͆̐͘͝h̵̛̭̟͒̂͗̌ẹ̵̗̼̰̱̣̽̐̔̂̉̿̊̆̿͆̚ ̴̧͆͗̃b̶̢̥̮͖̘̙̦͓̘͍̊͊͂̈́̾̔͝͝ͅl̴̡̠̬̰͇̹̙̿̓̊̎̄͗e̴̘̲̣͂͋͋ę̷͕̤͍̪̅ḋ̶͎͔͚̉̄į̶̭̤̭͓̺̲͍͔̭̪͋̇̿͐͗̀n̵͎̗̗̳̼͙͙̤̦̼͙͐̿̆̏͐̎̋g̴͔̙̬̓͗̈́̑͑̆́͋ ̷̞̥̺͕̲̓̂̓͐͛̒̒̇̓̄̚c̵̨̨̮̗̥̟̮̻̙̐͑̔ͅȫ̸̹̪̙̦͎̦̙̞͇̯̤̏̾̓̈̚̕l̴̨͇͖̽̋͆͊̿̒̈̿͠ŏ̴̼̅̎̈̽̌̊͘r̷̼̤̻̞̻̖͂̾́͋͆͋͠ͅͅs̷͇̒̊̇̐̈́̊̇̇̓͠**_ _of my friends. I dropped on my knees, unable to do anything. Scared to do anything._

 _The shooting stops._

 _ **Why did it stop!?**_

 _ **Why didn't they shoot me, however they are!?**_

 _ **Why didn't I join my friends?!**_

 _I sobbed into my knees, alone. Hopeless, defeated, and utterly alone. My mind is swimming with confusion. Why? Why? Why?Why?Why?Why?Why?Why?Why?Why?Why?Why?Why?Why?Why?Why?Why?Why?Why?Why?Why?Why?Why?Why?Why?Why?Why?Why?Why?Why?Why?Why?Why?Why?Why?Why?Why?Why?Why?Why?Why?Why?Why?Why?Why?Why?Why?Why?Why?Why?Why?Why?Why?Why?Why?Why?Why?Why?Why?Why?Why?Why?Why?Why?Why?Why?Why?Why?Why?Why?Why?Why?Why?Why?Why?Why?_

 _The sky screams at me, yelling my name, crying in the wind._

 _"Monika!"_

 _I try to hold in my whimpers and block out the sound, but it keeps calling. And calling. And calling. And calling. And calling. And calling. And calling. And ca-_

 _"Monika!"_

 _Oh please, shut up! I just want to mourn my friends in peace._

 _"Monika!"_

 _Just put me out of my misery! Just let me see my friends again! Just get it over with!_

 _And then the world darkens._

 _And then the world disappears._

* * *

It reappears with a scared Sayori, tears in her eyes.

"Sayori!" I wrapped my arms around her, crying into her shoulder. She holds me tightly, whispering comforting words in my ear. As I cry harder she hugs tighter and soon she was gripping so hard that I could hardly breathe, but I didn't care!

It was _her_ arms.

Thank god it's just a dream.

After calming down, she forcefully unwraps her arms from my body. It was bittersweet, but I get to see her face again, her _shining_ face again!

"Oh god! I thought you were a goner!"

"...goner?" Sayori asks, letting her curiosity peak through.

I nod furiously. "You see, we were in Florida and was watching the sunset. It was nice for a while before somebody shot Yuri and then Natsuki and then... you." Sayori breathes hitches and she mutters something inaudible, anger burning in her eyes for a slight moment. I continue, ignoring the action. "It was... very scary. I wanted to... die so I can hopefully see you again. Is it a bad thing?"

Sayori sighs. "You were mumbling things in your sleep...like wanting to die. I was scared for a moment but now knowing the full context of things...I...I could say that everyone in this house would want the same thing if that ever happened. However, that's a rare situation. Despite...what happened... we will never leave you and we will try our best to not die on you. We are stuck with you forever, Moni!"

I laugh lightly, shedding more tears. "I'm glad!"

She kisses my tears away, our faces were full of smiles once again.

It wasn't long before we were both washed over with a light silence, trying to figure out what just happened. I was long lost in thought when Sayori whispers something.

"I want to know the truth."

I turned towards her. Her smile was gone, replacing it eyes of longing. I knew this was going to happen, eventually. I looked at the floor in guilt while Sayori continues. "Something's wrong, Monika. I know that you're not feeling your best and Yuri isn't sick. We know Monika, we both know."

I sigh, still looking away from her gaze. "I'm sorry. I thought...the truth might worry you."

"What do you think you're doing to me now. Seeing my girlfriend in pain like this worries me. Anything you tell me can't amount to the worry I felt for you!"

I look up to Sayori in shock. Her eyes were glistening with new-found confidence and love.

"Sayori..."

"So, please tell me. You don't even have to tell me the whole truth even, just don't hide your feelings."

"I- I tell you later. Now just feels too.." My words drifted. I don't know how to describe this. Happy? Intense? Complicated?

Sayori beams. "I knew you'll come through!" She traps me in a comfy loving embrace, giggling lightly. A smile shows up on my face too, despite what is going to go down later.

"Moni," Sayori asks later, the sleepiness on her face gone.

"Hmm?"

"What now?"

I thought about it for a second, before checking the clock. 5:36. Perfect.

"What about a run?"

"Oh?"

 _Tutu tu tu~ melody..._

* * *

 ** _I do not own M/elody! The song is owned by the respective owner!_**


	6. 5

To the say the least, I didn't expect for Sayori to get the hang of running that easily. I usually run more than the average person due to my experience and faster too. Yuri had gotten worn out and she works out at least once a week. I expected Sayori to be worn out too, at least a little more than Yuri.

I didn't expect to be carrying Sayori in my arms.

"How do you do that and not feel like your legs are like jelly?"

"It wasn't that intense. You should see what a _normal_ session is like." Sayori gulps nervously.

"You do... more?"

"Faster, yes. However, I tend to run the same mile every day."

"Monika, how?!" We laugh as I open the door. Just to see two expecting faces.

Natsuki smilies smugly, raising an eyebrow. She sits on the couch, sitting an arm on the armrest. Yuri was sitting next to her, her face filled with worry and anger. Anything but Natsuki's.

"Where were you guys! Wait oh! Fucking in the park again! I got you," Natsuki winks. Sayori's and my faces turn beet red.

"Natsukiiii!"

"We were running. Sayori's legs gave out and I had to carry her- WHAT DO YOU MEAN 'AGAIN'!?"

Natsuki and Sayori laugh in my flustered state. I tried to keep my heart rate under control.

Yuri hasn't said anything yet.

Normally she groans, blushes, or tell Natsuki her to cut out the dirty jokes this early in the morning. However, she sits still, her dark purple hair covering her face, brimming with her own emotions. Natsuki notices this and turns.

"Yuri, you doing okay?"

Yuri doesn't respond, her brow furrowing. Natsuki begins to say something before she gets cuts short by Yuri's hard gaze. Her gaze stares at Natsuki before gradually moving up to Sayori and me.

"Monika..."

"I'm sorry! I...forgotten." Sayori shoots me a confused look.

"You forgot?!" Yuri gaze pierces my eyes, making mine avert away. "You have forgotten how dangerous it could be now if we don't stay together?! You might have gotten yourselves killed!"

Sayori and Natsuki stared at Yuri and me in shock, not knowing the full context. I took a while gathering my thoughts before responding back.

"It isn't that serious Yuri! He isn't anywhere near here! For all I know he's on the other side of the world!"

"Listen to yourself! You really think that we are safe here. You saw the news broadcast. You saw what he did. It isn't long until he targets us."

"Yuri..."

"Don't 'Yuri' me! Don't you care what happens to yourself?! If you get taken or killed?!" Yuri was standing now, her hand on her chest passionately. Natsuki was sitting by her side, muttering her name to back down.

I avert my eyes, muttering a word that was inaudible for even Sayori to hear. Yuri's eyes finally soften and a gasp lets out from her fragile lips.

"Monika, don't you care?"

The air stills and silences as it waits for my reply. I bit my tongue. It's not getting one.

"Yuri, we need to talk. About this. About... them," I say after the brief but intense silence. Yuri's eyes widen as she registers the others in the room.

"I- Fine."

I close the door that was silently blowing wind inside, creating a draft. Sayori, still in my arms, gives me a look of concern but I laughed it off.

"I'm still keeping my promise," I whispered. "Just wait for me." Sayori nods, trust in her eyes.

I dropped off Sayori on the couch Natsuki was sitting on before going to my room with Yuri, closing the door.

"Monika what-"

"Yuri, please not now." Yuri's eyes grow concerned, but nods understanding and the topic was changed. "They want to know."

"I know. Natsuki told me. I only told her parts and bits because I thought to tell her when you're ready-"

"Same for Sayori. What are we going to do?"

"...Listen, Monika, we can't keep this a secret for much longer..."

I hissed under my breath. Is it really time? I... I wasn't ready.

"I can't Yuri, I'm sorry-"

"What are you scared of?"

I blinked. "What?"

"What are you scared of, Monika. They are your friends and they won't get mad at you for telling them stuff like this. Just... a little shocked."

"But... this nagging fear." I grabbed my running tee pulling on the fabric. "It claws up inside me, it makes me not want to do this."

"That's the anxiety. It will go away with time. It always did."

Yuri smiles, her eyes gentle. Her cheeks were slightly buzzed by embarrassment of what she said, but she ignored it. I could ignore my fear too, even if it's just for a while.

"Okay. Okay, I'm doinng this... I'm doing this!"

Yuri's smile grew wider as her eyes shone once again.

"Then, let's do this," Yuri says determined, holding out her hand.

I look at her hand and her eyes again. They look calmer now, purple veils filled with caring and warmth. I teared up from her caring nature.

"Moni-"

I rushed in to hug her, crying on her shoulder. The taller girl gasps in surprise but accepts the embrace.

"I'm sorry Yuri. I shouldn't go without your permission and I shouldn't lash out at you for that! I knew you were just caring for me especially of what happened just yesterday. I shouldn't have been so careless, people got _killed!_ Your family members got hurt! I guess the danger of this situation is just-" I get cut off by the warmth of Yuri's arms pulling me in tighter. The love made me sob harder.

"It's okay Monika, I don't blame you. I was overreacting then too but I was so _worried._ " Yuri's last words choked out into the air as she pulled me even tighter. "Please, just tell me where you're going next time."

"I will! I will!"

Hopeless, I felt my knees gave out as I sank to the ground. Yuri's hug maintained, taking the purple hair girl with me, not that she minded. The taller girl stayed silent as I sobbed into her purple robe, comforting me.

As we parted I saw that Yuri's eyes had tears in them too, one escaping as she tried to wipe them. However, the feeling inside them was the same as earlier.

Caring, loving dark purple veils that always seemed to shine when they landed on me.

I guess mine tends to shine when they are on her, too.

* * *

We walked out of my room in silence, occasionally giving glances of warning and reassurance. I readied myself for what to come. The guilt in my stomach building up.

This is not going to be sweet.

Soon as I got downstairs, I saw Sayori and Natsuki again. Sayori was still at her place on the couch, an ice pack on both of her legs. She pouted, pointing at the ice packs. Natsuki was beside her, her brow knitted close as she talked.

As soon as they saw us, I knew they were going to say something about Yuri's light tear stains and my very obvious red eyes but I cut them off first. "I- um- we... need to tell you guys something." They nodded.

It was beginning.

Yuri and I sat on the couch with Natsuki and Sayori. They tense, knowing its something serious. I bit my tongue, turning away. A pain of guilt was sent soaring through me when Yuri had to speak for me.

"Well... it all started yesterday morning. Monika was out for her morning run and you guys were still sleeping. Knowing I won't disturb anyone, I turned the tv on." Her eyes cast downwards as she plays with her hair, unable to face the others anymore. "It landed on a random news station, on a breaking news segment.." She stops to breathe, tears threaten to stream down her face again. "It... It was about _him_..." She puts her hands on her face, unable to talk anymore. I braced myself.

"He...um... killed Yuri's father and pained Yuri's mother very bad," I say cautiously. The girl beside me posture slackens more, causing me to place a reassuring hand on her shoulder. I gripped my own shirt with my free hand, wanting to release all this guilt.

"He also was connected with four other murders in that same week. I-um..." I look up at their faces, wide with fear. I take a breath, hissing. I was so close, I can do this!

Just two sentences. You could do that, Monika.

So, taking every once of confidence and effort I somewhat have left, I whispered," Your mother is dead Natsuki. As for Sayori... her whole family is _gone._ "

"I'm so so sorry."

Sayori and Natsuki eyes widen as they realized the truth. I avert my eyes and prepare for the worse.

"Is this a joke?" I look up to see Natsuki standing, her smile faltering in disbelief. "Because I think this is all just one fucking stupid joke we could just all laugh about!" She laughs loudly as the tears streamed her cheeks, the cheerful sound spoiling once it reaches the air. She laughs alone. Yuri puts her hands on her face, crying softly. Sayori still stares at nothing in shock. I look at Natsuki, my eyes full of sadness.

"Natsuki..."

The laughing suddenly stops like a broken CD player. The poor girl was trembling, her small figure unable to take the emotional overload. She physically crumbles. Then, all at once, she gets her bag and runs to the door. I ran over and grabbed her arm.

"Where are you going."

"GET OFF ME!" She turns around, smacking my hand away. "I'm going to Papa's, telling him the news."

"You know that..."

"DO I LOOK LIKE I FUCKING CARE!" Natsuki points to herself. She was trembling tremendously, tears overflowing her face. "I just... need to get out-"She regains her posture and turns for the door again.

"I'll be back soon."

And then she leaves, slamming the door behind her. I stared wide-eyed, unable to compute what just happened. By then, Sayori shifted. She wasn't trembling as much as Natsuki but was still shaken up. Tears line her eyes.

"I need some time alone. I'll be in my room." I nodded. When she reaches the staircase she calls out to me.

"Hey, Monika?"

"..?!"

She runs over and kisses me on the cheek, a tear escaping.

"Thank you."

I watch in silence as the girl ran up the stairs with her ice packs and slammed her door. A series of yells were followed after, muffled enough to not make any sense. I sighed.

"Yuri, we finally did it." The girl in acknowledged turned towards me.

She sits in silence, looking at the ground before turning to me. "That was harder than expected. I'm sorry for not backing you up."

"It's okay Yuri. I barely could speak anyways."

Silence. "I'm going in my room to rest." I nodded.

"Thank you."

Yuri's face gets flustered yet again, causing her to hide it with her hair.

"No problem."

And then she leaves.

Leaving me.

Alone.

I stared at the staircase before feeling my own tears fall. Why are they falling? Why can't they stop? I covered my head with my hands, sinking to my knees again.

I feel sad and guilty and hurting and scared...

But I'm also... proud?

I chuckled, double checking my feelings. After all that, I deserve to be proud.

I deserve to.

* * *

I lay on my bed, unable to think of what to do next. Sayori's yells have stopped, leaving me in complete silence. I look up at the ceiling but all I saw is the boring green wall. I sigh.

I did it.

I should be celebrating right now. Getting over my fear. Not having a panic attack. Getting out of there. However, I just lay here, drained of purpose. I can't be happy while my friends are suffering.

I feel proud of myself a little, but that's all.

To stop dwelling on negative thoughts, I try to plan. I know that the trip is confirmed. _My_ trip is confirmed. The faster I plan the faster I could go.

I looked up the next flight to Florida that is in my budget. Two weeks from now. I am worried, my aunt can get killed any second, but it means more time with the girls. Plus, I can't take their money to go an earlier flight. This trip is my responsibility and my responsibility only. I buy the plane ticket, hissing through my teeth. Why do I feel like this is the wrong idea?

Why do I feel so guilty?


	7. Meeting 2

**I forgot to update this! Sorry**!

* * *

Friday has come earlier this week to the girl. She did nothing but mourn the whole week. She didn't want to do anything else.

She certainly didn't want to come face to face to a murderer that killed everyone that meant most to her.

She looks at the house one last time. Not everyone, but still...

The girl hastily gets on her black outfit and leaves out her window, climbing on the old rope she used so many times before. She was still shaken up by the deaths and all she wanted was to just sit and mourn.

No, she wanted to go back in time, to relive all her memories. No, she wanted to see them again, one last time. Yes, that's what she wants to do more than anything! It burns into her mind like a craving. A dying wish. Her thoughts whispered ideas to her, ways to fulfill this hungry desire.

 _Just let go, they echoed. Then, you will be with them forever._

Her hands shook rapidly on the rope as she climbed down, her tears overflowing. No, I can't. They wouldn't want that. They wouldn't like that. They want me to live.

So, with shaky hands, she climbed down the rope, landing with a satisfying thump. She brushed off the dirt from herself and started to walk down the dark path.

* * *

As soon as she saw him, everything turns white. She falls with a shrieking cry and tries to steady herself on her feet again but fails. Sitting on the ground, she rubs her bruised eye.

"Ow, that... really hurts," she whispered.

"You think I have any remorse for you now? You should have known that when I shot up that club," he says wickedly, looking down at her.

The girl doesn't respond, looking away with her only good eye.

"You know, I had to settle with fewer amounts than usual because of your stupid ass. Where's my $250 at?"

She bits her lip, sweat dripping from her brow. He knows. "I don't have it. You took everything I have."

"Everything?"

She nods, trying her hardest not to look up at his glare.

The boy chuckles, sitting down with her.

"I guess this is the end of our journey, huh?" He sighs looking at the sky. The girl tenses at his words. No, he can't be thinking of...

"I wonder which of your nerd friends I have to get next for your replacement~"

The girl perks up, staring daggers at the boy. "Don't you get them into this! You already have done enough..."

"Oh, you mean murdering their families? That was your fault, by the way."

"W-What! Did you kill their families just because of $250? You **MONSTER**!"

"We made a promise, remember. You didn't deliver so I went all out with my punishment. You should really be mindful of the consequences-"

"You murdered our families because of your _fucking_ _addiction?_ " The girl whispers under the breath. She was crying angry tears, her face flustered with ribbons of rage. The boy was surprised, she rarely did this.

The only time she saw her like this was when he shot up the literature club.

Then, he found her weakness, her love for her friends. Now, he can make her do whatever he wants! He could even make her kill herself if wanted.

But not now, she was still an important piece to his plan.

"You still have my money?"

The girl looks up, her red eye completely filled with fear (the other was swollen shut by now) as it widens in remembrance. She digs in her pockets until she finally finds a crumpled envelope. The same pink one from last week. He takes it quickly, actually counting the dollar bills.

He chuckles knowingly, causing the girl to shiver up more.

"$300 short."

"I-I can explain! I worked really hard but it wasn't enough work for a week. W-We both know that's impossible! I-just-can't do it without the others noticing! I-I-please have mercy..." The girl stood up quickly and bowed, waiting for the best.

pleasepleasepleasepleasepleasepleasepleasepleaseplease-!

"Give me your phone."

The girl stood up and blinked. "...My phone..?"

"Yes."

The girl silently took out her phone. It was an iPhone 6S, a phone she really wanted when she was sixteen. She had it for years now and was content with it. It was rose gold, with a sticker of the words "Doki Doki!" she got custom made from earlier festivals.

"Ah, an iPhone 6S, huh," the boy said, a smirk on his face. "It will probably sell for $600. You take rather good care of your phones."

The girl holds her phone to her chest. "Y-you're taking it?"

"This or more murders. You wouldn't like it if somebody's aunt dies tomorrow, wouldn't you."

The girl gasps. " **You wouldn't DARE do that to her.** "

The boy grimaces. " **Wanna bet?** "

The girl stares at him with pure anger before giving up and giving him the phone.

"Remeber to delete my contacts. I don't want anyone to know it's missing."

"What contacts?"

The girl bit her lip, trying not to squirm from his booming laughter. "I'm serious."

The laughter dies down. "I know."

The rest of the check went by normally, the pushing questions, the uncomfortable body examination, the gun to her chest. Wait... to her chest?

The girl tries to suppress her fear. "Why the new position?"

The gun touches the delicate fabric of her hoodie, squirming to its heart's content. "My trust of you has been lowered. Now, if you say anything stupid, I can just shoot you and get this over with."

The girl cringes. "Were you just doing that by shooting me in the head?"

"It's much more painful! You see, this gun in on your chest, not your heart. You won't die right away...or so I hope. You are weak and probably pass out the second I push this trigger."

"O-Oh."

"Just a reminder to not lie to me again."

A deep silence envelops them both as the meeting went on. The girl was filled with angry but scared to talk and the boy was simply busy. This stupid girl's fault for lying to him and he wouldn't be trying this hard. He sighs as he brushes himself off.

"Done."

The girl regains her posture, brushing off the black hoodie full of dirt and tears from sitting too long.

"D-Do you promise to stay away from my friends?"

"What about yourself? Do you want yourself to be saved from me?"

"I realized with this meeting that I have no choice. You can say anything and I will do it. You can take anything and I will accept it. You can do anything and I won't tell a soul. I-I'm your slave."

"Ah, you finally caught on." The boy chuckled at the girl's wit. "And it only took you a few dozen meetings! Makes things easier for me I guess."

The girl stared at him. Why did she let herself get sucked into this mess?!

"Now, I see you need to get going now. Got to patch up that eye before it gets infected." He points at the girl's bruised eye, purple and swollen. "If anyone asks, just say that you got robbed or something. **You know what will happen if you told them about this, right?** "

The girl nods silently, unconsciously rubbing her eye again.

He smiles and walks away while the girl tries to figure out how is she going to explain this to the others.

Suddenly, the 'robbed' story doesn't seem that bad at all.


	8. 6

I woke up slowly, trying to pull myself sleep. My alarm silently ticks. 4:29 am. That's earlier than what I woke up to the rest of this week! It's Saturday, after all. I think I didn't have a nightmare this time. I'm alone. Why even am I up? The lack of moisture in my mouth answers for me.

"Water," I muttered silently, drowsily getting out of my bed. The hallway was dark and empty, the faint glow of the moon glittered down the windows. Another indication that it's way too early for this. I sighed and walked to the kitchen anyway.

Trying to rub the sleepiness out of my eyes, I try to look for a cup. I knew they have to be somewhere, I'm probably just too tired to look think. After a moment I saw a clean cup in the dishwasher and took it. As I walked to the refrigerator's water filter the sleepiness from my eyes still haven't cleared and I still couldn't see very well in the dark yet. This sucks.

I should just go back to bed right after this. My body feels tired from mourning instead of running. Plus, my dreams are nicer than reality. Reality sucks with all of the murders and Haru and anxiety stuff. My dreams are the only place that I could relax without thinking about it that much. That and the literature club. Except for the nightmares. The nightmares are horrible, they come almost every night. It's a miracle that I could sleep without one tonight. They got worse since they recently that got mostly themes about stuff about-

Sayori walks downstairs interrupting my thoughts. I couldn't see her well, but I could see she was wearing her favorite pajamas along with some slippers. Her hair was a mess, sticking out in all different directions. The tearstains that flowed down her downcasted eyes.

The cup overflows.

"Sayori, whats wrong?" I stopped the water filter and ran over to her. She turns.

"Nothing really!" She forces a smile on her face. "Just a little nightmare, nothing else!"

I frown. "Want to talk about it? Think of it being my thanks on Monday."

"Monday...oh. Well, you already gave me your thanks! It's nothing really... Just...stuff." She presses her pinky fingers together. "I-Just...okay."

I lead her towards the couch to sit down with her. As my vision got used to the dark, I noticed she was very fidgety, playing with her fingers. I sigh.

"You don't have to do this. I understand-"

"I do." Sayori unconsciously scratches her scalp, fuming with stress. "It's just I don't want to bother you. I mean, you're a person with valuable time and I don't want to..."

"It's okay. I _want_ to do this."

Sayori bits her lip trying to stop an incoming smile. "Moni..."

"I mean it."

"I-thank you..." Sayori blushes for a few moments before continuing. "...I kinda had a dream about _him_. H-he was killing you all and I had to watch. It was m-my punishment."

"Sayori you didn't did anything wrong. You were just trying to defend us that day."

"I know but he was really mad at me! Do you know how hard he slammed that gun? I couldn't remember anything for a like a month after that!" Sayori crumbles in her spot, fear taking over. "Wha- What if he hurt you? What if you get hospitalized or even-!"

"Sayori stop." I knew she was obeying from the silence I received. "Remeber that day? Before you got hit, we had a group effort. Yuri and her wit helped us numerous times to get out of the way. Natsuki's distractions helped us plan before he could find us. My strength and firepower helped stopped him, at least for a little bit. Your overall bravery, despite the odds defending that blow for us. As a team, we beat him and as a team, we could do it again." I pulled her into my chest. "So don't worry that much, okay?"

Sayori nodded silently as she leans into my chest, wetting my shirt.

"I'm just really scared."

"You'll be okay, I'm sure of it."

And that, even I don't really know if it's true.


	9. 7

I lay on my bed again, looking up at the ceiling. It's been a few hours later. Sayori went out, mumbling something between the lines of going to the mall real quick. Natsuki came back Wednesday (with no new bruises thank god) and has been silently making treats to busy herself. Yuri's been reading in her room, coming out mainly to make tea. I silently went back to old habits. Overworking.

I first worked through missing work from this week since I was absent. Including my club work, it took a while, but I finished and still wasn't satisfied. So, I cleaned the whole house. I sigh, looking at my room. _It_ _fucking sparkles._

Why do I do this to myself?

I was about to pull out my poem binder to work on future poems when a knock on the door made me drop it, spilling all the contents on the floor. Damn it. I scrambled to pick them up, pushing them back in the binder. They didn't comply, crumbling up instead of going into their slots. Damn it. Damn it-!

"Are you busy Monika," a voice says behind the door. Yuri's.

Yuri's the smartest person I know. It shows in her poems, excellent word choice, perfect rhyme schemes, emotional themes! What will she say if she finds me with all of these shitty poems? Pathetic, I know. Wait, Yuri's my friend! She won't judge me, right? Yeah, I'm just having an episode. Why am I having an episode now of all times?! Oh. I didn't take my anxiety medicine yet. I was too busy caring for Sayori. Oh god. What will Yuri say to a girl who can't control her own-

 _ **RRRIIPPPPP!**_

I looked to see two pieces of newly torn paper in each of my trembling hands. I stare at them, my eyes widening. Damn it. Damn it. Damn it! Forget it, Monika. I put all the other poems inside the binder, put the binder underneath my cabinet, and thrown the torn one in the trash. It was one any-!

"Moni?"

I whirled to the door. Yuri was still waiting. "Coming!"

I opened the door to see Yuri. She looked better, the bags under her eyes with decreasing and her hair were less fizzled out. However, the frown on her face laces with concern.

"Can I talk with you for a few?"

I tense. I'm not embarrassing myself again. "Just wait a second, okay?" She nods, understanding.

I quickly run downstairs into the kitchen where Natsuki surprisingly wasn't there. She's probably upstairs reading manga or something like that. Nothing to overreact about.

I took my medicine quickly and soon I was feeling calmer. That was a close one.

As I trotted my way upstairs Yuri was sitting on my bed, her hands respectively in her lap. I smile at her.

"Whats up Yuri? Did something happen? Is it something bad?"

Yuri looks up and shakes her head. "No No No! Everything's great! I just have a question to ask you."

I sat next to her. "Oh?"

Yuri hesitates, averting her eyes. "What are you going to do about _the trip_?"

Oh.

I forgot I told Yuri this when I first found out! Ugh, now I feel guilty for not telling her.

"I...um... bought plane tickets already."

"Oh. When's are you suppose to leave?"

"In two weeks."

Yuri's eyes widen. "Monika, isn't that too late of a time?"

"It's the earliest in my budget."

"I could easily-"

"No. I promised myself to not take other people money. This trip is my responsibility."

"But-!"

"No buts Yuri."

Yuri sighs, her eyes downcast.

"Very well." I could hear the worry in her voice, but I didn't press on it. "Anyways, when you plan on telling them."

I avert my eyes. This is going to be hard. First telling them that their families are dead and now telling that I'm leaving on a trip and I don't know when I'm going to return?

"I don't know... I want it to be as soon as possible but still, I want the other stuff to sink in first."

"I understand, but-" Yuri perks up and looks at the door suspiciously.

"Yuri, is everything alright?"

She walks towards the door and looks in the hallway before sighing and shutting the door. "I thought I heard something. Must've been my imagination."

I nodded while she sits back down. Weird, I didn't hear anything.

We talked for a few moments before I heard a mutter. And another. And another.

"Are you sure we are not being watched?"

"M-Monika don't say things like that. It's probably Natsuki and Sayori again."

"Hmm, you're probably right-!"

A knock on the door made Yuri and I freeze. Maybe someone is watching us after all!

Another knock. I hesitantly walked over to the door. This might be the death of me. I'm just glad that I lived a happy and fulfilling-

"Moni! Yuri! You're invited to our first annual family outing!"

Sayori was standing in front of my door, a huge smile on her face. Natsuki was behind her, smirking.

Oh, I should have known.

Instead of telling her that, I point my interest onto her face. "What's with the sunglasses?"

"Oh, this?" Sayori pointed to the aviator shaped glasses on her face. They had a light blue rim and tint to them. I wonder how much she spent. "I got a little sidetracked and wondered to a glasses store at the mall and they had this. I just had to buy it!"

"Sayori, you don't even need glasses," Natsuki smirked.

"Oh, these are non-prescription!"

"So, you plan to wear them all the time?"

"Yep!"

"Oh god." Sayori chuckles while Natsuki cringes.

"I think you look pretty cute," I whisper. Natsuki facepalms while Sayori flushes.

"Moni, your such a romantic," Sayori coos.

"Yuri, make them stop! They will be fucking on the floor before we know it!"

Said girl flushed, already reverting back to her shy nature. "E-Eh?!"

"Oy! We have _some_ decency!"

Natsuki sighs while Yuri walks over, a blush still stained on her face.

"What about this outing, Sayori," Yuri says.

Sayori beams, ready for this moment. "Well, I know that we are all stressed from the... recent news so I decided to have an outing! Being cooped up all day doesn't help nobody."

She does have a point... My anxiety is getting messed up with all the events going on. I even reverted back to overworking.

"Hmm, I might say it's not a bad idea," I say.

"I did read somewhere that going somewhere does relieve stress..."

"Sure, I'm in."

"Yay! We have to get ready though, it's tomorrow!"

"Oka- Wait, what?!"

"Yea, I kinda booked it for tomorrow on accident..."

"Booked what exactly?"

"It's a surprise!"

I smiled. This girl and her surprises.

After conversing with the tiny tsundere that she's not planning anything bad, Sayori bounces, her smile even greater than the last one.

"The Literature Club's first outing is a go!"


	10. 8

**I'm so sorry I missed three weeks!**

 **I had lost a little bit of motivation and had a terrible case of writer's block for the past two weeks. Also, it took a while to post this chapter because I wanted it to be a little bit longer (around 3,000 to 4,000 words) and that's a lot of hard work but I did it!**

 **Newer chapters might take a little longer cause of that too, but never this much, (I think) sorry!**

 **-Riri**

"Here we are!"

We were standing in a parking lot in front of a wide, brick building. Colors shine from the walls in weird shapes. In front, a tall, white, sign that says 'Rosefield Roller Rink'. It looks like it was made for children, no, I'm certain that is _was_ made for children seeing that they were all over the place.

We are high schoolers, almost adults, by the way.

"...Sayori. What the fuck!?" Natsuki shouts.

"Natsuki! Kids are here," Yuri whispers sternly.

Natsuki flushes slightly, waiting for the children to past before continuing. "That doesn't explain why are we here! Sayori, we all are seventeen. We are all too old for this!"

"Nonsense! Other sixteen and seventeen-year-olds ago here," Sayori says, pressing her index fingers together nervously.

"Those people are probably weebs."

"Oh? Like you?"

Natsuki became silent as a blush tints her whole face. Sayori catches this and apologizes almost immediately.

"Do you... seriously... want me... to punch you?" Natsuki asks with gritted teeth. Sayori shrinks.

"I said I'm sorry!"

The two girls pout over their own thoughts while Yuri stares at the ground, not knowing what to do. I decided to cut the conversation. "Anyways, why here?"

"Oh, because I thought roller skating will be fun! And, it will be hard to think about other things because you have to focus all your attention on not trying to fall on your face!"

"Please don't just say that so nonchalantly..."

"But... what if I don't want to fall on my face?" Yuri asks, suddenly shy.

"I have to agree with Yuri for this one. I haven't been taught how to roller skate anyways."

"Come on... guys!"

I watched the conflict between the two girls and Sayori. The latter was slowly losing the argument, her words getting slowed and twisted, a light blush on her face. I sighed. Natsuki's and Yuri's minds will be difficult to change, but I can't leave Sayori hanging like that.

I place a hand on Sayori's shoulder, squeezing it slightly.

"That's enough.''

"Moni?"

"Monika don't you dare!"

Yuri doesn't say anything. She watches in silence, her eyes begging to not intervene. I guess she really doesn't want to fall.

"It's not that bad! I felt like Sayori had a really great plan about this and, somehow, her logic fits." The other two huff while continue. "We won't let any of you fall either. We will always be prepared to catch you, right Sayori?"

Sayori nods eagerly while the two give each other a glance.

"Fine. Fine. We will go to this stupid rink if you guys will just shut up!"

"Yay Nats! I knew you'll come through!" Sayori wraps Natsuki in an embrace while the latter throws a line of muffled curses, embarrassed. Yuri scolds her from cursing in public, forgetting her shy attitude completely.

I felt adults and children stare at us. I could feel their judgemental stares and whispers pounce on my confidence without mercy. My smile tightens and I felt my hands shake. Putting them behind my back, I tried to focus on the laughing trio in front of me but only managed a pained smile. I'm getting stares from children. Children. How worthless am I just to get scared by a 6-year-old? I'm weak. My mind. My body. My face. My words. My fake laughter. My fake smile. My fake confidence-!

"Should we get going?" I asked nervously. Sayori realized that we were still in the parking lot and released Natsuki.

"Oh yeah, let's go!" She flies in the roller rink center, clearly excited. A few crashes were heard soon after and Natsuki had to come in to help her. Yuri took a few moments getting the confidence to go in herself. I looked back, seeing a kid staring right back at me. He teases me, sticking his tongue out once his parents were away. I cringed.

Is this what an all-time low feels like?

Still, it's not like I'm here by myself. I came here to have fun with my friends, that's all.

"Oy! Monika come on!"

"Coming!"

I let out an energized calling as I stepped towards the building, my smile still lopsided and my hands still slightly trembling.

But I let out my slight worries, I already got teased.

My smile becomes real once more.

"Are you sure you're okay?" Yuri asked yet again.

"Yeah, I'm fine! I just crashed into some boxes that's all."

We were all in the roller skating rink, sitting at one of the tables. The staff had been nice enough to get Sayori an ice pack for her head after she crashed into their main office. I was sure Sayori was fine seeing how she was reacting to all this and Natsuki was annoyed of the situation at this point (she was very worried earlier no matter how much she'd denied it), but Yuri needed a lot of confirmation.

"You crashed into boxes full of skates, Sayori. Seriously are you okay?"

Sayori thinks about this for a moment, her eyes dropping into a rare pondering mode before shooting up again. "I'll be fine, Yuri! Sure it hurts but after a few moments I'm sure I will be fine again."

"Just, take it easy for a few, okay?"

Sayori's eyes relaxed as she smiled. "Okay."

I smiled at their conversation before watching Natsuki who was nervously glancing at the rink, uneasy. I knew she never skated before unlike the rest of us, her father never cared to. The rink is pretty crowded with children too, not to mention the show-offs who skate too fast with complicated tricks, only to show off that they had experience. Hitting the ground was not nice but unfortunately was pretty likely.

"Scared, huh?"

Natsuki looks up startled as her face unwillingly flushes. "Wha- No, I'm not."

"Hey, I know what it's like. There's a lot of people and almost no space to even move. It's terrifying."

Natsuki huffs but the blush seems to be toning down. "But you actually know how to skate well, lucky"...

"You should be happier about that. If we all didn't know how to skate we'll all be screwed."

"Heh, I guess."

I stared at the rink trying to erase the slight unease I now have until Natsuki called out to me again. "Hey, Monika?"

"Yea?"

"How did you know all of that, ya know, that."

I stared at her confused before a small smile appears on my face. "Even it's it's earlier, we all had first times."

A spark of appreciation shows in her eyes as she smiles warmly for a split second before she reverts back to a smirk.

"Monika, you dirty-"

"I didn't mean it that way!"

"I didn't know you wanted to fuck Sayori that bad?"

Sayori perks from her and Yuri's conversation at the sound of her name. I try to tune down the volume of my blush in my hands while Natsuki laughs heartily.

"Goddamn, it Natsuki."

"It isn't my fault that you're so easy!"

"Easy?!"

Natsuki laughs some more while I sat up, flustered and confused. Natsuki was about to speak up again before an over-energetic voice rings from the large intercom!

"Listen all riders, experienced skate is now over! Everyone can ride on the rink now but please don't forget to be careful!"

The voice from the intercom died down just like that, leaving the music to continue to play in the background.

"Should we get out skates now?" I asked. The rest of the group nodded as we got up from our table to go to the small lockers by the wall to get our skates. Yuri and Sayori seemed to continue their conversation and I was happily watching them before someone tugged on my shirt.

"T-Thanks for that," Natsuki whispered, her face flushed as she looked to the side in embarrassment but the smile was still there. "I mean that, dummy."

She runs up to the other two without waiting for a reply and joins the other two, acting like nothing happened. I smiled as happiness swelled up inside me. God, I just love Natsuki's smile.

As I joined the others I found out they were talking about the festival. As they talked I remember the fall festival was coming up and we wanted to do something spectacular since our presentation last year didn't get us any members (screw the people who find poetry speakings boring, I was almost emotional by the end of it) and we wanted to try again with something more... grand.

The problem is, we don't know what to do.

"What about an poetry speaking event?" Sayori askes, piping from my side.

"Sayori, we did one last year," Yuri says clearly.

"Yea, but it wasn't fancy enough. We need to be more 'out there'!" The only complication is that we don't know what exactly is 'out there'.

"Sayori no-Why don't you guys just accept my idea? Surely a game or something like that can attract people," Natsuki retorts.

"But a 'game or something' won't say that we're into literature much. They would leave as soon as they joined."

"Yeah, we're a literature club and we're proud!"

Natsuki goes back to thinking while Yuri and Sayori go into a light argument about the festival arrangements. What do we exactly do for the festival? I'm their club leader and still didn't give it much thought yet. How could we get back up again after that failed poetry club speaking?

What we need is something unpredictable. Something that nobody will expect from some seventeen and eighteen-year-olds. Something, by the time the festival's over, will make them beg to join. Something...

Something... clicked.

I smile at the new thought, already processing and going through a routine before I even said it! But when I did, I couldn't hide the excitement in my voice.

"Guys, what about a documentary?"

The three girls stopped walking, considering this. Sayori looks to me, her face full of confusion. I decide to continue.

"Yeah, to show the fun in the literature club! Last year, we had only shown our literature skills which kinda made people uneasy, but with this documentary, we can show them our friendship!"

"Wouldn't we be copying the photography club then?" Yuri asked.

I stopped to think about it and realized the photography club did something similar last year, but it had actually had been a full out, hour and twenty minute, movie. I remember it being really professional and well-made.

"Well, as long if they don't do it again this year, which seems unlikely, then we'll be okay. We are not as experienced as them anyway, this is just to show an example of a day with our club."

Natsuki was about to talk before Sayori interrupted her, announcing we were at the lockers already.

"You guys ready?" Sayori says, standing up in her roller skates already.

"Ready!"

"I guess..."

"Sure."

Sayori cheers and skates towards the ring. I try to skate after her but wobbled and had to lean on a locker. Sayori came over and asked if I was okay. I just said I was fine and practiced to skate on the carpet, trying to regain the basics of skating again. I haven't been skating for a long time.

Meanwhile, in the corner of my eye, Natsuki was leaning on Yuri, trying to find her balance. Yuri had a bright red flush on her face, trying to help Natsuki off her chest.

At least I have some basics of skating.

After practicing skating on the carpet I found that I was ready for the ring. Sayori was waiting eagerly on the side, watching the people on the ring skate gracefully. I went to join her.

"I'm excited! It's our first outing as a literature club," She says, a smile on her face.

"Yeah, it's the first time we actually went out together without one or two of us being out," I respond, a wistful sigh on my lips.

"Do you know why I planned this?"

"To forget... that?"

"Yeah, how did you know?"

"You told us, remember?"

"I couldn't stand the sad looks on everyone's faces, Moni! Even with my own grief, my heart ached to make you guys happy. I think that's what my family, our families, would have wanted."

I ruffled her hair, a bright smile on my face. "Don't forget about yourself."

"I know! I know! Ehehe, Moni, you're going to mess up my hair!"

Natsuki and Yuri came a little later. Natsuki gripping on Yuri's hand for dear life, while Yuri was flushed at mere contact.

"I-I think Natsuki got the hang of it," Yuri stuttered.

"Yeah, this skating thing isn't that hard," Natsuki proudly said before losing her balance again and crashing into Yuri's side. Yuri lets out a squeak in response.

"It takes time to get it completely right but your learning," I say, trying to sound hopeful but all of us know that Natsuki's doing really bad right now.

At least she's doing her best.

Natsuki lets out a muffled poorly energetic yay, just lightening the mood for all of us.

"Oh, I have an idea," Sayori says. She links our arms so that we were in one line, Sayori being the first and Yuri being the last. "You can't fall now!"

"Heh, thanks."

I could tell that she's nervous telling by the hesitation in her voice. I wished that I could reassure her.

As soon as we skated to the rink, I felt myself wobble, catching myself in time, earning myself a shout to not let us fall. I began to steady myself normally and so do the others.

"Okay, everyone! Let's go slow for now," I said.

Everyone stayed by the wall to hold on to while we were skating. Even being slow we had lots of fun, laughing in the process.

Then we figured we skated enough to move away from the wall.

Natsuki wasn't really on board with it but the rest of us were skating for fifteen minutes and was bored with the slow safety wall. So, we retreated from the wall against Natsuki's will and more into the general area of the rink.

It was fun for a moment. Going faster brought the excitement back to skating. Well until one of the professional skaters went in front of us, making us stumble. Everyone except Yuri regains their balance making all of us slightly off balance.

"Yuri, regain your balance," Natsuki demands.

"I-I can't! You guys need to slow down," Yuri retorts.

"We won't make it," I yelled. The wall is too far away and if Yuri doesn't regain her balance was going to fall before we get halfway.

"Eh?! So what do we do?"

"Can we slow down here?"

Sayori turns, a helpful glint in her eyes. "No, well probably get ran over."

Natsuki panics. "Ran over?!"

"Don't worry, it doesn't hurt that much anyway-"

'Wall!"

Sayori turns to see an incoming wall. We supposed to turn a long time ago.

"Right!"

She turns wildly, making us yelp. Natsuki lost her balance from the turn, leaving only me and Sayori yet.

"Sayori, what are you doing!"

"At least we didn't hit the wall!"

"Were further from the wall now!"

Natsuki was correct, seeing that we were on the experienced side of the rink. The beginner side was out of reach. Sayori goes faster, making us yelp yet again.

"We need to go faster if we are going to get back," she chimed.

"She's right. Hang on!" Using most of my strength I tried to match Sayori's pace and we quickly zoomed through the rink.

"Sayori! Monika! You're going too fast!"

"Go slower dummies!"

I tried to stop in my tracks but that only that only tightened my grip on Sayori, disconnecting it. Sayori falls on the floor

"Sayori!"

"Oof!"

With Sayori gone, all three of us went extremely off balance and crashed into a wall. The fall wasn't that bad, only a minor headache was caused by it.

But still...

I started laughing.

A sweet, cheerful, sound escape my lips as much lips encrusted into a smile. Every chuckle relieving me of everything.

I opened my eyes to see the girls laughing with me. Smiling, happy, and free.

It worked. She did it.

And the thing is that she'd probably did it without realizing it yet.

"That was extricating," Yuri says.

Natsuki pointed to me and Sayori, a playful pout on her face. "You guys were going fast as fuck. I couldn't hold on that long."

"I couldn't either. Why do you think I let her go," I laughed.

"I wasn't that fast you meany!"

"Don't call me meany when you almost dislocated my arm."

"Hey, is anyone going to mention that guard has been looking creepily at us since we crashed."

"Natsuki, he's going to warn us if we don't get up," Yuri warns making Natsuki snort.

"Why is he staring at us though. It gives me stalkerish vibes."

"It's his job."

We laughed as we got up, skated to the entrance of the rink and relaxed.

"Round two?"

"Round two?! Natsuki you were panicking the whole time!"

Natsuki's face turned bright red yet again. "I was scared you two were going to fuck up!"

Sayori laughs at Natsuki's retort.

"I could go for another skate," I finally said with a grin.

"Hmm, me too," Yuri thoughtfully replies.

"So, it's a go then?" Natsuki says.

"Yep!" Sayori exclaims already in front of us.

"Then let's go!"

As I was skating I thought about this week. I believe, even now, that grief is a terrible thing. It can hold you and keep you in its claws. It can deprive you of all that you need most. It can make the world dry and gray.

My friends experienced it. I experienced it. Even now, we know everything won't go 100% back to normal.

But with her. With me. With all of us. We know it's going to get better.


	11. 9

Monday morning came quickly, signaling itself with the beeping of my alarm clock. I groan, rolling over to turn off the annoying beeping, and rubbed my eyes to attempt to rub the sleepiness out of my eyes.

At least I didn't have a nightmare.

I stretched my arms out, careful to not stretch my stitches that much. Putting it in too much strain hurts, almost as much as it did when he shot me.

I thought of yesterday during my half-sleep haze and smiled lazily. I hope we will have a fun day today just like yesterday. For the first time last week, everyone was truly happy.

How much longer will that happiness really last?

I sighed, moving from my warm covers and into the bathroom, where I freshened up before grabbing one of the books on my bookshelf. It was one of the newer ones by one of my favorite authors.

I update my bookshelf daily, not only to read some new books and to keep my collection updated but to please Yuri too. She uses my bookshelf too since she already read all the books in her house. I don't mind much, she keeps them in perfect condition anyways.

I went into the living room and got the coffee machine from the front of the counter. I usually get coffee after my run, being tired and all, but it became too dangerous to run recently. Coffee would make me in a perky mood for I wasn't that tired but I didn't care. Coffee is coffee.

I grabbed the steamy hot coffee after and brought it up to my lips. It burned slightly at the touch but nothing that I wasn't used to. I sat the cup on the table near the couch a little later and read seeing there wasn't anything else to do.

Yuri came a little later, saying a drowsy hello. I say one back, humming a bright tune. I noticed was still wearing her robe despite me wearing my uniform. I was so used to changing into my uniform as soon after I showered from my run that I accidentally just put it on after my first one.

Yuri seemed to dismiss why I was wearing my uniform and went to the kitchen to fix some tea (I don't know how could she function without coffee) for herself. She also did some of the chores to which I made a mental note to thank her for.

I also noticed that she didn't make any move towards the tv, daring to even look at it.

I continued to read while she did these things, my book has been at its climax and was actually pretty good.

"Is that a new one?" Yuri asks, I looked up and blinked before replying to her.

"Yeah, brought it a month ago."

She hums a tune while sipping her tea, excited that the bookshelf has been updated. "Is it a nice one?" I smile wider as I showed her the author and her eyes widen. "It's that author?! I thought he was on a hiatus!"

"It turns out that he recently got out of hiatus since his son is now going to daycare. To celebrate, he released a new book! I just needed to get it."

"I'm excited to read it! Moni, where are you at."

"Climax. I might be done reading it by next week."

"When you end it tell me about it." She sips her tea once again, this time having a wider smile on her face.

We giggled and talked about the book like little kids talking about a new toy. Well, until Natsuki came downstairs, leaving Yuri with an embarrassed hue.

Natsuki wore a large shirt that her torso drowns in, some pink pajama pants, and plush bunny slippers. She stops walking when she sees Yuri, her face the same color as her pajamas.

I swear I saw some red tricked down her face...

Whatever it was, I dismiss it and thought to try to lessen the awkward silence between us three, however, before I could speak Yuri found her voice.

"I-I...urm... have to go... change! Yes, it's almost time for school! I'm sorry Moni but we have to continue our conversation another time." She rushes off in a blur of purple hair waiting for no reply.

I nod hesitantly, still slightly confused by her erupt departure and horrible lie. I then look over at Natsuki and she looks as confused as I am before clearing her throat. "Goddamn that Yuri, always running when I need her."

I just shrugged and looked at the clock. 6:30 am.

"It's still a bit early for you to be up. There are at least thirty minutes before your alarm.

"Quit babying me Monika, I can wake up for myself!" She diverts her eyes to huff while I sigh, picking up my coffee to drink it again.

Natsuki goes to the kitchen, fixing all of us breakfast. I volunteered to help her but she gave me a glare and basically told me to fuck off. I guess she's tired again, based off her bad mood. She always a little cranky at mornings but rarely this much.

Unless she gets home late due to her father keeping her in longer or her not being home at all, which are the scariest of nights, but she always comes to school fine except for a bruise somewhere and an awful attitude.

I decided not to mess with her right now. Maybe talk to her privately during the club meeting? Yeah, she would most likely calm down before then.

With that decided, I go back to reading my book, pretending that I wasn't coming up with a plan for the wellbeings of my clubmates.

Thirty minutes went quickly as I was reading. Soon it was 7:18 and Natsuki had to nudge me that breakfast was done. She and Yuri were wearing their uniforms now so I guessed that they changed.

"Moni, breakfast's ready."

I nodded, ready to get this day started.

As I went over to the dining room, I couldn't but notice the empty seat beside me.

"Is Sayori up?" I questioned, raising an eyebrow.

Natsuki rolls her eyes while Yuri closes her eyes, nodding her head.

"I tried to knock on her door, but it never works," Yuri says timidly.

I sigh, glancing at the stairway.

"Keep the food warm, okay?"

Natsuki gives a skeptical look, putting the two dishes in the fridge. Yuri gives a light smile and I gave a playful smirk back before heading upstairs.

As I approached Sayori's room, I decided to knock one last time.

"Sayori, you up?"

Moments of silence proves Yuri's last point as I rolled my eyes, chuckling slightly.

"Okay, I'm coming in!"

Sayori's room was slightly cluttered because she had forgotten to clean it earlier. However, it wasn't near as dirty as it used to be. Since she first stayed here we all clean her room with her, since she has a hard time doing it because of her depression.

Sayori herself was laying on her bed, fast asleep. I smiled, a blush forming across my face. No Moni, you have to remember what's at stake!

I ruffled her hair gently. "Wake up sleepy head." She groans and turns over to my dismay. "Come on, Natsuki's going to complain."

Again, no reply. I sat on the edge of her bed, expecting this to take a while. After shaking a shoulder a few times, I got a response.

"Mm...what's the time?"

I glanced momentarily at Sayori's alarm clock. The blue clock has two tiny cat ears attached on its top. It sits on her counter, right next to her plush bunny, making it easy to see.

"Um...7:35. Why?"

"...Ten more minutes," she replies drowsily.

"Sayori, no."

"Sayori, yes."

I bit my lip, deciding what to do next. Do I go with it? Do I admit defeat? I took a steady glance at Sayori's alarm clock and decided it was worth it. So, I got up and promptly plucked her forehead. Her eyes fluttered open at the gesture and she frowns.

"Moni, that hurts~"

"It was well worth it."

She pouts, rubbing the spot where I plucked it. I scooped the smaller girl up in my arms, blowing a raspberry on her forehead.

"Moni, ehehe, what are you doing?"

"Kissing it better!"

She laughs, trying to push me away. After a few minutes, I finally stop and we gazed into each other's eyes until a crash breaks us both from our trance.

It seems like some dishes crashed downstairs. Are they both okay downstairs?

Some muffled noises, two screams, and a fight beginning get me my answer. I sighed, looking back at Sayori, who sighed as well. I let go my hold of her and leaned against the wall.

"Hey, Sayori?"

"Hm?"

"What's the time?"

"Eh? Um...7- It's 7:48?!"

I snicker while Sayori rushes to get ready. She pouts at me.

"Why didn't you tell me earlier?!"

"I did."

Sayori doesn't listen, too busy.

"I'm going to the shower, okay?"

"Okay."

She waves at me before rushing in the shower. I decided to go downstairs to wait for her.

Natsuki and Yuri wouldn't look at each other by the time I went downstairs. I raised a brow but didn't ask anything involving the topic. Instead, I began to put my books into my own bag, hurrying against the time. By the time Sayori joins in a couple of minutes later, I look up to see Natsuki and Yuri were gone.

"Eh? Where are they at?"

"Oh, they said that they were walking to school ahead."

With my eyebrow twitching a little, I sigh, picking up my bag and putting over my shoulder. Abandoning us and walking to school. Great. "Come on Sayori, we're going to outrun those cheaters."

Sayori grins, noticing the perky tone in my voice.

"I can't wait to see you run with coffee! You'll be like the Flash!"

I laugh, covering my mouth to try to stifle it.

"Eh, you think so?"

"I know so."

I laugh again, stretching out my legs a little. "Let's prove it then."

"Right on!"

We slip on our shoes and run towards school, totally not ambushing the others in the process.

* * *

 _Sometimes, I watch as Auntie tends her garden outside. She has two little ones near the sides of her fence. They were small, but bursting with color and beauty._

 _Auntie takes great care of them, making sure each one has enough water and sunlight and keeping bugs and weeds out. She does this every day._

 _Sometimes, as I watch Auntie, she spots me. With a raised eyebrow and a playful smirk, she motions me outside._

 _We tended to the flowers together with some chit-chat in between, although Auntie's bad at it. I guess she doesn't know what topics not to go to with a teenager._

 _"So, dating anyone?"_

 _Example A._

 _"Eh? I'm not interested in nobody. It's not like mom and dad will let me date anyone anyway."_

 _"Come on, don't limit yourself! Remember what I said a year ago? 'Rebel-'"_

 _"-be free. Yes, yes I remember. It's just that all the boys are heartless jerks and the girls are so stuck up to the point that it hurts." Auntie laughs while I manage to crack a smile. "Nobody's that cute at the school that I'm in."_

 _"Except for you."_

 _I flipped my hair dramatically, causing Auntie to giggle again. "Well, I'm not really an option."_

 _Auntie smirks before picking one of her hibiscuses. I turned to see what she was doing and she unexpectedly puts it in my hair._

 _"You look greater than great."_

 _"These are one of your flowers!"_

 _"I had it for a long time, it was about to die."_

 _"...that makes me feel worse."_

 _I gently tapped one of the petals, eyeing it carefully. It felt too big to be just one flower. "Are these one of your Rose Mallows?"_

 _She raises an eyebrow suspectly. "How did you knew?"_

 _"It covers this whole half of my hair, Auntie! Only Rose Mallows grow to be that huge."_

 _"Yeah, your right. It's one of the bi-colored ones."_

 _"That makes me feel worse! The bi-colored ones are rare."_

 _"I have a few left, surely those could reproduce. I'll be fine."_

 _"O-oka-hey! What are you doing?!"_

 _Auntie picks another Rose Mallow and places it in her hair as well. It covers a bit of her face. I laugh a bit._

 _"Don't think I won't get in with the trends."_

 _"Auntie, this isn't a trend."_

 _"Well, we are making it one!" She grabs her phone and asks if I wanted to see myself, which I agreed to._

 _So she takes a selfie, her in the front making one of her silly faces and me in the back, grinning like an idiot. I feel a bit uneasy since my parents don't do this thing with me, but this is Auntie. I can act like myself here._

 _I let myself get in another silly pose and waited for the incoming click._

* * *

 _ **Ding Dong!**_

I jump, looking at the large school clock. I then look down at my notebook, which was empty. I sigh, putting the book back in my bag. I guess I daydreamed mostly in class today. The day seemed to fly by too, nothing's left but one more period.

I can't help but feel a pain of guilt in my heart. It's not like someone like me is expected to daydream. I am looked up to by hundreds of students, I can't let them down.

It's not like I wanted them to look up to me, but still...

I lifted my bag up to my shoulder and went to the music room where I spend study hall. I usually play piano in there as a soother. I think I had gotten good at it during the years, but never thought to show it to anyone.

I set my bag down and began to play. I had nothing ready, so I pressed some random keys. Most times, I press the wrong key, making me cringe. I sigh, looking at the ceiling. What am I doing?

My piano skills have become dull for the week I was out. It's hard to get back to the swing of things when your fingers keep cramping every second. To add on, my mind is void of any ideas. It's pointless.

And I thought this was soother.

 _ **Ding Dong!**_

I have to try again tomorrow then.

I pick up my bag again and went to the clubroom, hoping they can help improve my mood.

To think of it, I haven't been to a much of a bad mood at school since last week. This grief isn't done wearing me down yet.

I walk into the club with a weary smile to see that nobody was there. At least the club had not changed during our absence.

I sat down and rummaged in my bag to find the book from this morning. I haven't had time to read it yet, daydreaming and all. I flipped through to find my bookmark and started reading.

* * *

"Hey, Moni"

I look up to see Natsuki in the doorway and I smile. "Hey."

She gives an effortless wave before looking around. "Nobody's here?"

"Not yet."

"Thank god. I can read my manga in peace." She closes the door and retreats in the closet. I open my book once again only to be interrupted by Yuri. She scans the clubroom.

"Hey, Yuri?" Yuri jumps at the sound of her name and flushes.

"H-hi Moni."

"Whats wrong. You're not acting like yourself."

"I swear I'm fine. It's just..." She trails off, flushing even more and runs off to a desk. I eyed her suspiciously.

"You sure, you can leave early if you want to."

"Really, I'm fine."

"Tell me if you need anything, it's the club president's job to know the safety and well-being of their clubmates!"

Yuri giggles. "You use that line every time."

"It's true though!"

Yuri gets cuts off by the sound of running footsteps and the door opening once more.

"Ha... Sorry...ha... that I'm late!"

Sayori, face flustered with exhaustion, leans against the doorway trying to catch her breath. I look at her quizzically.

"It's only been five minutes since the bell."

"Really?!" She looks at the clock, double checking herself. "I must've lost track of time again~"

She sits in a nearby desk, resting her head on her palms.

"You ran here from the other side of the building?" Yuri asks. Sayori looks up and nods.

"I thought that I overslept and missed the whole meeting so I ran." She then slumps again, trying to kick her feet. "I never thought it would hurt this much."

"Your legs were just sore from last week Sayori," I said sternly. Her head perks up again.

"They're not that bad guys. We even went rollerskating yesterday!"

"If it caused a reaction now it surely caused one yesterday," Yuri whispers.

I gasp silently. "So that means it has gotten worse. How could I be so stupid?"

"Guys-!"

I suddenly picked her up in a princess carry, making her yelp.

"We're going to the nurse."

"But I'm fine~"

"You're not, we all can see it. Just let me take care of you for once."

"I...okay."

We were about to leave when I turned back to Yuri, remembering earlier. "What I said to Sayori applies to you too. We can end this early if you want."

Yuri shines a small smile. "I think I have this all in control." I was about to object when she shoots me a look.

I sighed deeply and mumbled a quick "we will be back soon."

After we were a great deal away from the clubroom, Sayori spoke up.

"What was that about?"

"I don't know, but I think Yuri would like to be alone for a while."

* * *

"It's cold!"

"Come on Sayo, your legs won't swell down by themselves."

"I was hoping them too."

We are at the nurse's office. The nurse said that some ice will let the swelling die down. That and not using her legs for a while.

Sayori hisses from the cold once more. I shoot her a glare.

"It's super cold Moni! Almost like dry ice!"

"It isn't that bad."

"For me it is." She twiddles her thumbs, averting her eyes. I patted her head.

"You're a bean."

"Moni~"

I look at the clock, wondering when to get back to the clubroom. I was greeted with thirty minutes after school was over. I mentally cursed.

"The club was over thirty minutes ago Sayori! We have to go!"

Sayori sits up, throwing the ice packs off her legs. "What about the others?"

"They probably just went without us again," I say, lifting Sayori up. She sighs.

"Ambush ti-"

"No."

"Aw..."

We left the school (the door was unlocked thankfully) in search of our two friends once again.

However, I can't help but feel some unease when passing Natsuki's house. No, not her house, but her nightmare.

Please be alright.


	12. 10

**** Nudity and references to rape are in this chapter! Don't read if your sensitive to any of these things!**

* * *

I can't take this.

I take the bottle from my cabinet, pulling off the cap and shaking out two white pills from the container.

This is all too much.

I swallow the pills along with a glass of water, tightening my grip a bit too much.

Why her. Why them. Why me.

My mind doesn't stop buzzing with fussy static, reminding me of all my troubles. I bit my lip and tried to drink the rest of the water.

All because of one pathetic dumbass.

"Are you okay now?" A voice. I open my eyes, bright lights stinging them.

"I can't be okay."

All because of one person who had one job.

"Moni you have to sit down. You've been pacing all night."

I took a breath, taking in my surroundings. Against kitchen counter. Taking medicine. Sayori by my side. Yuri leaning against the living room wall. Natsuki...nowhere.

God, I wish she just come in and grin like the idiot she is.

I look at the clock, blinking a few times.

12:53 am.

Damn it. Damn him.

Not again.

Natsuki is not going to come home tonight. Not to her real home.

When we all made living arrangements here, Natsuki couldn't get away from her father. The only way was her to sneak out of the house at night. Since her father was a useless drunk, he almost never noticed.

When he did notice, she was kept for the whole night. Often when she gets back, she always gets a bruise somewhere and an awful attitude.

This isn't the first time it happened. It happened a couple of times now, but we can't act like everything's fine in her absence. It's the fucking scariest days of our lives.

Because even we don't know if she is ever going to come back.

Because even we don't know if she is going to be okay.

B̸̨̨͓̯̖̹̼̲̩̤̹̼͇͖̥̤̱͖̟̭̘̱̃͜͜ȩ̵̢̧̧̛̛̬̣̜̳̗̲̗̜͚͈̖͔͙̣̜̫̼̱̥̓̈́͐͒̉̀͛̅̿ͅć̷̱̠͔̣̺͚͔̫̤̳́̀̃̐̔̿̋̄̔̽̾̆̚͝͝â̷̛̘̦̆͒͂͑͑̅̐̌̿̐̈̓̈̄̄̊́̉̋̾͆̆̚͝ư̷̤̼͓̭̇͋͒̈̇̉̂̄͊̈́͝ş̵̜̩͎̠̰̣̙͖͙̥̠͇͇͉́͂͋̐͜͜͜ͅe̴̢̛̦̜̻̬̟̹͔͒̈́̃̆̌̔̒͆̀ ̸̧͍̩̩̟̹͍̤̙͉̦̱͓͎͒̀̌͗͋̒̏̉̈͛̈͆̚͜͠ȩ̶̢̒̌̓̋v̵̳͉̲̝͎͚̭̟̲̳͕̟̠̝̼͓̰̻̜̤̦͉̜̎͌͋̿̈́̉̎̊͘͜͝e̷͖̳̜̦̥̪̱̍̒͆̆͋̌̾̌̇͌̊̆̏͂n̷̬̩͓̤̝̞̗̿̋̊͛̔̇̿̽͑͛̓͝͝ ̵̧̡̖̥̯̰̩̘̞͈̞̯͔̪͉̭͒̆͌̈͒̾̇́̒͑͆͛͗͛͆̄̾́̑̈́͒͗̚̕͝ͅw̸̨̘̰̟͈̯̋̌̈́̇͊̊͐̽̈͌̈͐̚ͅȩ̷̢̗͔͇̖̼̣̻͉̳̣͍̲̞̤̱̞͎̱̝̮̫͚̥͈͕̚ ̷̡̡̪̙̬̥̭͎̹͎̼͙̥̦̬̹͇̪̱̄͒̇̓̉̔̽̈́̋͛̈́̚͝ͅͅḑ̴̡̧̭̮̺̱͍̦͕̞͍̑̆̎̓̓̈́̅̓̿͋͐̍͋̊͂̓̒̏͘͜ͅǫ̶̭̞͖͕̗̼̲͙̱̦̭̜̻̺̦̦͚͍̪́̉̽͂͛́̒̿̍͗͐̊͌͘͜͝ṋ̴̫̫͔͕̲͈͎̠̬̠̜̣͉̅͗̃͆̈̉̐͐͒͗̊͛̎͜͜͠͠'̸̡͕̥̦͚̺̱̱̭͔̜͉͎̼̳͚̜̳̳͎̼͓͓̹̃̓̋̅̋̈́͛͛̅̊̔̋̍͋̕̕͝͝͝ͅt̶̨̢̧̧̥̲͕̣̝̗͇̘̩͈͉̫͈̱̥͈̘̮̖̙͌ ̴͓̰̟̯̣̍̆̔͆̈́͌̓̈́̕̕̕͝k̶̢̡̨̛̩̟͚͔̫̈́̈́̍̓̇͝n̴̢̨̢̨̖̠͇̫̰̣̰̜̖̙̤̜̣̟̤̟̞̹̩̤͈̍̽̉̓͠͠ỏ̸̡̡̧̼̼̫̞͈̼͍̅̈́̉̔͐̓̌̈́͋͒̐̚͘͠͠͠w̵̢̨̮͕̯̦͇̣̙͔̠͓̠͇̲̯̘̞̰͆͗̒̓̃̚ͅ ̶̢̥͚̱̭͉̪̜͙̙͖̖͇̼̮͇̤̪̦̝̤̉͌̆̂̌͛̈́̈́̅͂̾̒͋̆͂͋̋͑̚͘̚̚͝͝i̷̛̛̬̠͕̥̭̱̼̹̜̰̝̤͖̝͔̗͎̼̭̦͙̲͚͐̀̎̉̇͌̓͌̽̊̄̑̊͂͂̍͋̆̌̂̕͝͝f̸̡̤͈̺̝̗̯̂̔̎̈͛̈͂͐͐̈́̊̈̽̽͐̑̈̓̋͛̕̕͜ ̷̡̳̪̗͎͗͂͗̑̎̊̓̌̿͛͗͌͛̃̄̓̄̈́͋̌̕͝͠͝ș̴̛̞̗̹͉̙̜͋̋͑̿̍̄̔̏̊̄̐̂̃̑̓̃̾̾̽̓͊̚̕͝h̶̛̦̥̳̫̘̹̦̿͑̍̉̎̑̌͗̈̅̓́̆̋̓̍̽̍̎͘͜͝ȩ̷̧̲͚̱̪̳̼̮̮̱̝͆̈́̆͋͒̏̋̅͊͆̏̉̂̚'̷̨̢̡̨̡̻͍̹̩̳͈̯̦̭̩͍̞̪̠̠͔̯͍̱͓̔͆̄̉̈́̕s̶̡̨̢̪̪͙͓̲̠̝̘̥̩̻̳͓̘̘͙͚̲̫̔̄͂̈̎̓̕ ̵̨̨̨̧̧̱̝͙̻̜̰̺̮̭̥̰̦̝͆̀̽̃̅̓͜͝ͅg̸̡̛͔̤̖͉͎̤͔͓̮̺̟̦̱̲̻̀͋̔̒̉̈́̈́̆̾̒͆̽͘͘͝͝ǒ̸̢̧̢̧̗̟̞͚̪̹̟̘̱̯̜͕̗̣̮̥̀̓̽̎̓̀́͗̀̇͜͝͠͝͝i̴̮̣͂̂͒̊͒̋͆̊̈́̀̒͛̿͂̑͛̇͝͝ǹ̷̡̡̛̻͍͎̲͙̟̖͙̮̹̲̣̗̬̙̽̔̉͌͌̎̄͆͘͜ͅg̶̛̠̙̲͈͎͔̟̬̪̜͖͖̞̬̰͐̌̽̌͒̔̈́̊̅̎̒͆̾̂͌̋̈̎̎͆̚͠͝͝ ̷̛̛̯̥̫̭̣̪̬͙̜͙̪̮̟͇̓͂̐̒̆̋̆̌̽̂̽̾́̍͗̒͗̈͋͝ṯ̵̢̧̨̛̲͚̗̦͓͈̤̩̫͈̬̜̳͕͕̥̙͇̫͗͛̾͆̀̔̑̇̊͆́͜͜͜͝͝ͅo̴̧̢̦͖̫̤͈͓̟̳̥̮͙͓̣̳̖̼̟̲̰̙͍̊̏̂̽̕͜͜͝ ̴̥̤̤̗͕̈́̃̔͐̈́́̅͌̐̑̓͊̈́̎̏͊̾̈́͆̇̚͘͝͠g̶̢̢̧̯̮̤̖̝̰͍̭͙̹̺̯̣̣̒̇͊̉͜͜͝ͅé̶̢͇͍̝̼̬͎̲̱̻͖̫̲̰͘͠t̷̨̘̬̳͍̼͉͇̺̓̏̄̉͌ͅͅ ̸̛͕̤͈̻͖̯̙͇̻͛̇̔͐̏̍̐͂̊͊̃́̓͂͗̇̈́͊̈́̌̍̍̿̉͘͝͠r̴̢̞̠̩͇͈̺͚̠̮̻̪͈̭̠̟̺̍̾̊̅̇͆̏̍̄̋̊͝͝͠ȧ̸̢̰̠̟̬̥͕̩̠̜͚͈̤̖̼̥̞̥̻͎̝͙̟̫̋͗̂͊̚͜͝p̷̼͓̒̈̈͛̑́̈̓́̄̐͂̔̅̈́̿̽̄̚̚̚̕͠ę̷̧̛̼̭͕͈̮̹̣͈̰͐͊͌̽̂͌̎́̉̒̒̈͑̈́̔̈͑͊̿̓͜͜͜͝d̵̡̘̯̙̦̱͎͍̠͎̜̟̦̟̙͍̙̘̖̱̺͈͎̮̺̔̑̅͌̽̎̈́̈́̌͜ ̶̰̩͎͍̪͗͐̔̒̄̂̂̃̑͌̽͐͑̆͑̔͂͛͛͛̔͘͠͝ͅä̷̡̨̞̲͇̙̘͚̙̩͇̫̤͔̬̱̟͉̣̺̯̅͜͠g̵̨̧̡͉͎̱͎̱̱͉̩̘̱̱͖̺̯̳̝̘̬̝͈̍̏̇͗̀̔͆̊́͒̽̾̔̍̏̌̍͆̈́͘̕̚͝ã̷̢̨̻̥̭̼̬̘̫̜̱̙̼̜̘̠̬̰̯̀̈̓͂͆̌͂̈́͑̅̒̎̔̎̌̓̂̈́̃̔̕̕̕͝ḯ̴̢̻̬̙̱͇̰̗͇͓̘̞͈͖̗̟̠̤̹̓̏̊̿̽̓́͋̉́͂̾̆̈̂͑͋̚̕̚͜n̷̹̳̗̪̹̾̓̒͑̌́̄͗͆͒́̍͐͆͐͘.̵̨͙̠̤̳̣͈̊̏̿̏̆́̽

I pinch the bridge of my nose, sighing. Sayori places a hand on my shoulder, which I smile to.

"She will be okay. She's a fighter," Sayori says, but even her voice is too fragile and light for either for our likings.

I nod anyway and went to sit.

We all worried for her in some type of way. I pace through the halls, just worrying and praying that she isn't really dead and the last words I said to her were fucking "not yet" what a shit friend I am-

I bit my lip and took a deep breath.

Sayori usually just bites her lip and hopes for the best with a smile. Even when the smile is weary with worry or accompanied by tears of exasperation. It shows how strong she is, which is what I love about her.

Yuri is more quiet than usual. She wouldn't say anything for the rest of the night. I tried to ask her if she's alright, but she just nods and disappears. It doesn't help that she was acting weird at the club meeting. It doesn't help that she's gone.

"Did Yuri leave again?"

Sayori sits next to me and nods absently, getting her new set of ice packs. She has been doing better, but not better enough to go to school tomorrow. I put my hands over my face and sighed.

"I'm sick of this."

"Moni-"

"It's just so sickening. This feeling makes me feel sore and aches inside. Why didn't we just put him away."

"Monika you know that the last time we called the police they searched his house found him innocent. They told us to stop playing pranks and left."

"It's just isn't fair."

Sayori softly rubs circles on my back, whispering silently. "It isn't."

I remove the hands from my face and turned to Sayori, ignoring the hot tears forming on my face.

"How do you feel?"

Sayori's eyes widen slightly as if she's surprised for me to worry for her. "Moni-"

"Sayori."

Sayori hesitates for a bit before grabbing her phone, opening up her text messages. Fidgeting, she cups it in my hands.

"It feels like...a part of me is missing."

* * *

 _Natsu Natsu Kii 3_

 _Sayo: Hey when are you coming home_

 _Sayo: We are all waiting for you!_

 _Sayo: Natsu?_

 _Sayo: Natsuki?_

 _Natsu: Not coming today. Stop spamming me ._

 _Sayo: wait what_

 _Sayo: Is there anything we could do?_

 _Sayo: Natsuki?_

 _Sayo: NATSUKI?!_

 _Sayo: Is it because I'm so weak to help you? {Deleted}_

 _Sayo: You know, I just hurt myself again today {Deleted}_

 _Sayo: So, even if I tried I won't be able to save you {Deleted}_

 _Sayo: I'm sorry that I'm so useless {Deleted}_

 _Sayo: stay safe_

 _Sayo: We will always be waiting_

* * *

"I'm sorry."

Sayori tugs on her shirt, uncomfortable. Tears sting on her eyes.

"I'm sorry to use texting to vent. It was just..." She chokes back a sob while I waited politely for her. She didn't take long, wiping her eyes and looking at me with dedication.

"A part of you...missing. Do you know what that feels like? It hurts, but I just can't break on you. Not when you need me the most."

"That's not true."

"Monika? What are you-"

I pulled her into my embrace, not caring about anything. She tenses for a moment before giving in.

"We can break together."

"Please..."

"We are both equal messed up and imperfect, so we have to lean onto each other. I can't just sit and let you handle your stuff on your own. It will hurt too much! So, please..."

Sayori breaks out of the embrace and kisses me. Her tears bounce off her cheeks and onto mine as she wraps her arms around me. I accept, pulling her closer.

We stayed like that for a while until breathing was a problem and we parted. Sayori, tears still overflowing out of her eyes, loosens her grip on me. Her smile is saddened and forced, but yet she still wears it.

"Moni, you're too nice to me," she whispers.

"It's my duty as your girlfriend."

Her smile enlightened for a second before it disappears completely as she bawling in my chest, whispering all her flaws. I hold her closer, whispering all of mine.

I always thought that Sayori was strong. And even in this vulnerable state, I still do. She has the heart to put others before herself, despite her horrible depression. And with the stuff we went through together, her even trying to keep it together is amazing to me.

That is what I love about her.

* * *

"You're quiet."

Yuri jumps slightly, my words distracting her from her unusual behavior. She tenses and looks away, flustered. Stuttering, she slightly tugs down her skirt. "A-Am I always?"

"More than usual. It's almost like... back when you were trying to hide."

Yuri stops dead in her tracks and I stopped a few steps ahead of her.

"I'm s-sorry for worrying you. It's just that with everything that's going on..."

I gazed over my shoulder, my fingers crossing in front of me as they hold on to my skirt.

"Have you gave in?"

Yuri meets my gaze quickly and sternly, her shy demeanor completely gone. "Never."

After moments of staring I relaxed, smiling slightly and muttering an almost silent thank goodness. However, the smile quickly disappears.

"But you're not acting like yourself lately, even before last night. I'm not going to push you but if you ever need anything-!"

"I got into a fight with Natsuki."

I blinked. A fight? Yuri and Natsuki had gotten into lots of fights since the origin of the literature club. I don't know why one can easily upset Yuri now. Said girl walks over shyly and explains.

"Yesterday we c-crashed into each other and k-knocked over some dishes. We haven't talked properly ever since. I know it is c-common for us to fight but now it feels not right throwing insults at her. Even just thinking about her large pink orbs and her shimmering flowing hair-"

"So you have a crush on her?"

Yuri jumps again and looks away bashfully. "Maybe?"

I mean, she didn't stutter this time.

As we walked together yesterday's morning events now makes more sense. Yuri likes the small weeb. Interesting.

I shoot her a devilish smile. "Well, I can help you a little. A little like a wingman."

Yuri sighs doubtfully. "At least your not Sayori."

I laugh and Yuri shines a small smile. "I wonder what that would be like. Sayori would end up spoiling everything."

We laughed and smiled as we walked to school together, almost forgetting.

Almost, the club meeting was different.

I was the first one to get there, again. Sayori is in no condition to come here today and Natsuki didn't show up at school today, making only Yuri and me.

But Natsuki always came back the next day, which scared me. She's just sick. She will come tomorrow. Everything's is okay...except nothing's okay.

What if Haru got to her first.

Yuri opens the door, catching my attention.

"Is Natsuki here?"

"...No."

She leans on the doorway, reliving her from some tension. "Ah~ Thank goodne-! Wait, what?!"

"She never came to school today. I'm getting scared..."

Yuri looks downcastly, thinking. "I never wanted to do this, but you gave me no choice," she whispers with an angry wisp in her voice.

I look up from my desk, confused. Yuri turns towards me, a stern look on her face.

"Monika, can you end the club meeting early today?" I slightly tilted my head, even more confused.

"Sure...but if you don't mind me asking, why?"

She laughs darkly, causing me to have goosebumps.

"We're breaking Natsuki out of that place!"

"Wait, what?!"

* * *

"Yuri what?!"

Sayori pouts concerningly at the whole situation unraveling around her. I, right next to her share her disagreement.

It's been a while since we got back home. Yuri was attempting to try to explain her plan while we both thought that she was crazy.

"I'm all in for saving Natsuki, but her dad's house is dangerous. He's so much stronger than all of us combined," I say. Sayori nods in agreement.

Yuri only grinned as she took a gun from her holster underneath her skirt. We both looked on baffled.

"I was never a gun person," she says slowly as she examined the black steel finish. "But my dad always said to carry a gun in case of emergencies. I guess this is one of them."

"B-But Yuri," I said, stuttering over my words from being baffles. "We can't just murder him. We will be convicted of manslaughter!"

Almost like she glazed over my sentence, she suddenly shoots a bullet in the ground. Sayori and I jump from not expecting this whole situation until we found something strange.

"Are these-"

"A tranquilizer gun! Yuri, you're so cool!"

"Eh-h?! They're n-nothing really! We don't e-even have to use them if y-you don't want to!"

As Yuri reverted back to her shy state yet again, I rethought the situation. Sneaking through Natsuki's house somewhere while one of us is on duty to watch her dad is safe enough, I think. We can carry guns if something goes wrong and we won't be in trouble since they're only non-lethal bullets.

So, why not?

"Do you guys have a ladder somewhere?"

Both of their eyes light up as they stopped whatever they were doing.

"...That means we're doing it?!"

"Monika..."

"Sure, I want to get Natsuki back too."

Yuri smiles, her eyes sparkling tremulously. "...thank you."

"Yay! this going to be so much fun!"

"Hey, you're not going out while you're still healing!"

"Moni, your so mean~"

Yuri goes to get a ladder from the garage. Sayori goes with, full of energy.

I sigh, the things I do.

I can feel the all too familiar feeling of anxiety rise up inside me again while I'm all alone, but an urge overpowers that tremendously. I remember Sayori saying something about this.

 _"It feels like...a part of me is missing."_

A part of me missing? Is that what causes the urge I'm having, to be complete? I clutch my uniform jacket.

"It's...so strong."

A sequel of excitement makes me snap back to reality and I released my uniform. Sayori comes in with four walkie-talkies.

"I didn't know you had these!"

"Those are actually Yuri's," I chuckled.

Said girl walks in from the garage, wiping her brow from carrying the ladder. Sayori comes up to her, her eyes wide.

"Yuri, you're so cool! Tranquilizer guns, walkie-talkies! Where do you get these stuff?!"

"Um...my f-father was a high ranking cop. He used to s-show me this stuff from time to time. He left it here when he went on that business meeting."

Sayori eyes softened while she watched her speak.

"You had a cool father."

Yuri smiles too, ever so sweetly.

"You had cool parents too, they visited here more often."

I leaned over the couch's armrest and cupped my chin onto my palms. "Remember when Kashou used to come over sometimes? He made the biggest of messes~"

Sayori laughs lightly. "He was so hard to deal with sometimes, I was so exhausted by the end of the day!"

"But even so he was such a delight. Like you, Sayori."

"But even I am not that messy!"

I smiled, my friends are finally getting better. I'm so proud of them pushing through with everything that's happened in almost a week and a half.

And I would be proud of them for everything to come in the next.

* * *

"Is everything working?"

I tuned in my walkie-talkie, waiting for a response. I didn't need to worry because it came early.

"Roger, Doki Leader!"

"Goshthisisembarrassing. R-Roger, Doki Leader."

The latter voice I could hear in both the walkie-talkie and not too far away from me as she was fixing up the ladder.

"Come on Doki Protector! Have some fun!"

Doki Protector, Yuri, was flustered beyond belief at these names. I almost feel bad for Sayori to not see this.

"I think Doki Protector is going to faint with the amount of blood rushing into her face," I say, causing Sayori to giggle from the other side. "We shouldn't mess with her much Doki Base."

"Please... don't," I heard Yuri said. We both laugh.

Yuri finishes aligning the ladder to meet to the window and gives me a thumbs up. I give her my own back.

"Okay, we're doing this! Yuri's going to climb up the ladder and knock on Natsuki's window a few times. I'll be on the lookout for Natsuki's father while Yuri helps Natsuki. Is that clear?"

"Yes!"

"Yes."

"Alright, Mission Doki is a go!"

Yuri nods and starts to climb while I stay back, making sure the ladder doesn't fall. All is silent in this dark crazy wonderland, only the stars above watching us. Until...

 ** _Knock..._**

All three of us waited impatiently for an answer, a reply. Yuri fidgets on the ladder while I bit my lip and furrowed my brows. Sayori was quiet, which was unusual for her. Yuri quickly turns, causing the ladder to shake a little. I held it still and mouthed her to be careful.

"She's still sleeping," she whispers.

"Knock again."

She knocks again, a little hesitant this time. Again no reply.

"Is she alright?" Sayori asks, speaking with static. The talkies are dying.

"She's fine. Yuri, knock harder."

Yuri knocks hard and surprises herself, causing the ladder to sway again. I held it in place.

Yuri looks from above with a worried expression.

"Doki Le- Moni, she won't wake. What will we do?"

I sigh, clutching my jacket. What will we do? Natsuki won't wake so we couldn't get in. The talkies are dying so we don't have enough time. We might get in question with police. This whole thing is falling apart!

What about we-

No, that's crazy! We'll definitely get in trouble with the police then! But this urge...

...

..

.

I can't resist it.

"Break the window."

Yuri looks at me with fear and hesitation while Sayori screams from my talkie.

"But Moni-!"

"We have to! Nobody will expect a thing because Natsuki is from a bad neighborhood. Come on!"

Yuri furrows her brows and hisses through her teeth with hesitation before unzipping her jacket and pulling out the gun from her holster. We both have holsters underneath our jackets called hip holders with our guns, bullets, and talkies. The leather is kinda uncomfortable but this is a quick situation anyways.

"I must warn you, I had never broken a window before."

"It will be fine, just lean to the side a bit."

"Be careful!"

Yuri nods and takes a deep breath before leaning a little side and slamming her gun into the window.

The glass pieces littered to the ground with a shattering noise. I tried to avoid some of them, but eventually, some left cuts on my arms. I ignore them and look up at Yuri, who was cowering from the side. She opens her eyes and relaxes once she thinks it's over, smiling at me.

"I did it!"

"Yay! Way to go Doki Protector!"

"You did a great job Doki Protector!"

Yuri flushes and covers her face in her hands. "You guys reward me like this..."

"Come on, you have to admit it's cute."

"That's the problem. it's too cute that it's sickening."

"You're just too used to horror books. You have to get a little cutesy once in a while."

"Makeover~"

"No! I'm perfectly fine with what I look like now thank you very mu-!"

"Yuri what the fuck!"

The faint voice of Natsuki.

Suddenly Yuri's face gets much more flustered as she starts apologizes profusely. The ladder starts to sway as Yuri bows and I have to hold it to keep it stable.

"Yuri be careful!"

Yuri, unable to function enough to form a sentence, nods.

Like literally, there's steam rising from her head.

"Monika, you're here too?!" Natsuki peers down the window, naked by the way, looking at me in disbelief. I covered my eyes with my free arm.

"I have a girlfriend."

"Damn right she does!"

I heard Natsuki sigh from Yuri's talkie and went somewhere, not too far away from the number of footsteps I heard. I uncovered my eyes and looked at Yuri, who looked like she was going to explode.

I wonder if she saw the full picture, being up there and all.

It didn't help that she had a crush on her too.

...

Considering who Yuri is, I think she's dead.

Natsuki comes back in a white robe, tied together with some cheap gold plastic. She looks at Yuri, concerned that she was going to burst.

"Damn Yuri, you okay?"

"...Fine!" Yuri smiles dazedly as the reddish hue on her face turns magically redder. At least she's not dead.

"Call her Doki Protector," Sayori says, against the ever so building static. "It's cuter!" Natsuki and I snort.

"You guys...are horrible," Yuri says at last, trying to cover her face with her hair. "Just get up here."

"Roger Doki Protector!"

Yuri gets off and I got on, climbing the slightly unstable ladder. I sighed as I on new ground, considering nobody was holding it.

We all just stood there silently, now not knowing what else to do...

..

...

"Moni no."

...

..

And then I tackled hugged Natsuki.

"Moni yes!"

"H-Hey! I'm only wearing a robe here! I thought you said you had a girlfriend!"

"That doesn't mean I can't hug my best friend~ You were gone for a day and a half!"

"Aw, Natsuki you sound so cute! I wish I could see you now!"

"Shut up, both of you! It's not like I wanted to see you guys anyways."

"Awh Natsuki!"

"Awh Natsuki!"

"Forget what I said! Moni, get off me!"

Meanwhile, Yuri sits, too overwhelmed of what she just saw.

Realizing we have a bit of spare time on her hands I got off Natsuki and tried to fix Sayori's static problem.

I heard the other's fine since I'm right next to Natsuki and Yuri, but Sayori's a different problem. Our batteries are dying and static is bound to happen until it completely shuts off, but there should be a way to prevent it for a while.

I _would_ talk to Yuri about this, but she's _busy_ thinking of _other things_.

I looked over to Yuri for a second and instantly felt bad for the taller girl. It looks like that blush was permanent marker.

"Doki Leader, are you messing with the talkies?"

Natsuki tries to muffle her laughter.

"Only mine, trying to fix this static thing for a bit."

"Low battery? We should have charged these things before you guys went out. Mine's on a charger right now, but your static might get worse."

I sigh, putting the talkie back in my holster, leaving it be. Turning to Natsuki, who was done having her laughing fit, and asked her why she only has a robe on.

Her smile disappears as she averts her eyes, pulling on her robe. I began thinking that this was a bad question.

"Sorry, it was a-"

"It was the only thing I could wear."

"...What?"

Natsuki faces me again, her face full of despair. "Papa locked me up here because he found out about me sneaking out every day. I had less respect and love I had before, somehow. I-I'm lucky you got me out before something bad happened, so thank you."

I held my breath, clutching my jacket once again.

"Did he did it again?"

Natsuki's grip on her robe got tighter as she looks up, tears in eyes. She answers quietly, almost inaudible.

"...He didn't even use a condom."

The whole room goes silent.

Natsuki blushes a bit, rubbing her eyes.

"Natsuki..."

"Are you saying you might be..."

"Pregan-?"

"Might! There's still a chance I am not." She huffs, trying to pull off her signature retort, but I could tell she was scared from the way her voice wobbles. "This isn't the place I would like to have this conversation anyway. Let's leave."

"Y-Yeah, where's that ladder," Yuri awkwardly says, beginning to standing up and climb out. She looks out the broken window and freezes."H-Hey Moni, did you p-put the ladder somewhere when you came up here?"

I look at Yuri confused before running to the window, only to see that the ladder fell down because of the wind.

"It fell."

"Shit."

"Eh? Do you guys want me to come up there?"

"No, it's okay."

"What do you mean 'it's okay'? My door is locked!"

"We can't just fall and hope for the best either. It's a high drop."

I thought for a second before having an idea. "Hey Yuri, give me your knife."

"Wait you guys have knives?!"

"For emergencies only. And this is one, right Yuri?"

Yuri nods, handing over her knife. It was only a pocket knife, but it will do.

"Everyone stand back!"

"Monika be careful!"

"Does anyone have a second idea?"

"I hope you guys know what the hell you are getting into!"

"Three! Two! One!"

All at once, all three of us yelled out, "New mission Doki Doki is a go!"

"Wait what the hell is a Doki?! **"**


	13. 11

_**Implied sexual references and violence! There's not that much, but still! Don't read if your sensitive to that stuff.**_

* * *

I gave the knife back to Yuri after cutting down the door. It was hard, considering it was a wooden door against a pocket knife, but somehow it worked. I finished the damage by kicking the door down, leaving a clear passageway.

I lead the group into the quiet hallway. The lights were off and the only sound that could be heard was the sound of our footsteps. I took a deep breath as I peered down the stairs.

I could only see part of him but knew he was disappointingly very alive awake. I furrowed my brow, thinking what to do. I turned back to the two expectant girls.

"He's still awake."

Natsuki curses underneath her breath, rolling her eyes. Yuri gets ready to grab her gun, but I stop her.

"Let me."

Yuri's eyes widen in fear. "You can't face him alone Monika!"

"But I'm not facing him, only patrolling," I smirk. "I'll call you when he's gone."

"But-!"

Natsuki turns Yuri around, her face stern. "No time for buts Yuri! I think there's a room somewhere up here." She grabs Yuri's arm and runs to another room, leaving me alone. It wasn't long until I heard Yuri's voice, static and all, through my talkie.

"I'll never listen to you again after this."

I chuckled silently and slowly creep down the stairs. The floorboards cried and trembled at my weight, making me more nervous. After I got off the stairs I fumbled with my gun and loaded it with a bullet.

I hid from his general sense of sight, trying to spy on him from my point of view. The sour smell of alcohol began tugging at my nose and tiredness sits on my eyes, but I push through.

"Is there any activity?" Sayori asks. Her voice is getting distorted by this point.

"Not yet," I whisper, keeping a keen eye at my target.

I heard shuffling from Yuri's talkie, and automatically knew Natsuki got to it."Why can't we just shoot the guy and get it over with? Those are non-lethal, right?"

"I don't want to shoot him for no reason! It would be great if he didn't know that we were here at all."

"I kinda agree with Monika. We don't need any attention," Yuri says, taking control of her talkie again.

"You just don't like any attention," Natsuki snaps back and Sayori warns them not to fight.

"We are having a miss-"

Loud beeping erupts from the talkie and all three voices were gone. I tried frantically to get in contact with them again, but no one responded. I sigh, putting the talkie back in my holster. I'd have to go alone from here. Surely, it won't be hard, it's a small mission, right? Right?!

After putting the talkie back I saw that he was gone. I would warn Natsuki and Yuri, but the talkie is dead. I tense, looking around before freezing. Did I have that big of a shadow before?

"Look what we have here."

I screamed.

The shadow scoops me up from my waist and presses his body against mine. I kicked for an attempt to be free.

"Natsuki's friend, right? I expected you guys to do this, after all, she's been visiting you guys for the past few months. But not so soon..."

Before I could reach my gun, he takes it and throws it aside, leaving it to glimmer in the moonlight. My only hope...

He places his mouth near my ear and I could hear his lustful breathing. I try to push him away but he has an iron grip on me. I stayed there struggling for who knows long until I slowly gave out, trying to regain my breath.

"What...do you want from me."

"I looked you up on the school's website. Pretty cute. So, I'll make you a deal."

"You're sick," I retorted. He slips his hand underneath my pants, grabbing my underwear. I freeze. Is he..?

"I'll make you a deal, little lady. You stay here and I'll let the others go or you resist and I'll kill you all."

"That's a threat!"

His hand goes deeper in my pants and I freeze once again. I gave out a quieter yelp when I felt something that wasn't supposed to be there.

"So, what do you say, little lady? Up to my deal?"

No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No.

"No fucking way."

He turns me a bit too forcefully so I can be facing him. His arm still has a grip on my waist.

"What was that little bitch?"

I took a deep breath and looked him into the eyes.

"I said, I have a girlfriend!"

I kicked his right leg and he loses balance, making me able to escape from his grip and hastily grab my gun. Before I could shoot he gets up and smacks the gun from my hands and kicks it to the opposite side of me.

Deciding to forget the gun, I run to the kitchen to get shelter. There were no doors in the kitchen unfortunately but there were knives. I'm still under my no manslaughter rule but I could still threaten him, right?

"I am Sayori's and only Sayori's. You have no right to dictate our relationship to please yourself like that. I will never, ever, let you fucking touch me!"

I wave the knife in front of him but he wasn't affected. He was like a zombie running after brains and nothing could distract him. Passion burns in my eyes as I readied myself.

Jail-time here I co-!

"Oh, Yuri!"

We both stop what we were doing and glanced at the stairs, where Yuri and Natsuki were currently was. Wait, are they really-

"N-Natsuki I love you so much~"

"Love me harder~"

Oh.

As I looked dumbfounded, Natsuki's father angrily stormed out of the kitchen at up the stairs. I ran after him, trying to hold him back but he easily pushed me away. I grabbed my gun and still ran up the stairs, preparing to shoot him right there. But before I could make it he slammed open their door...

"Yuri, now!"

Yuri shoots Natsuki's father three times in the chest. He looks on in disbelief before fall down and faints.

We all took a moment to catch our breath to wear down the adrenalin. After Yuri stares at me and I could see the doubt in her eyes.

"I'll never listen to you again."

I nervously held the back of my neck. "That's fair."

Natsuki comes over and smirks. "Also we heard all of that stuff about Sayori. You're pretty loyal."

I felt a slight reddish hue on my cheeks. "Yeah, that's what expected of a girlfriend, after all."

Natsuki snorts at my slight embarrassment. "By the way, were you guys actually having sex or-!"

"N-Nope! It was just a d-diversion so we could a-attack! O-Only attacking! Right, Natsuki?"

Natsuki rolls her eyes, ignoring her own blush. "Sure. Just don't get the wrong idea, you hear me?!"

We gave out short-lived chuckles before looking at the tranquilized man on the floor in disgust.

"...do we have to?"

"Yes, we do. We need to make as little suspension as possible."

Natsuki and I sigh, not wanting to move him. To our delight, the doorbell rung before we could do all that.

But to our despair, it might be a person in the neighboorhood wondering what was going on or better yet, the police!

"...great."

"Natsuki, go."

"Monika are you high?! I'm only in a robe! Make Yuri go instead."

"B-But it will be suspicious since Natsuki was moaning my name a minute ago."

Natsuki flushes as she glares at Yuri to watch her mouth.

The two stare at me as the only option. I sigh.

"I'll go."

The walked down the stairs for the second time. It didn't feel as serious as the first time, but I could still feel that familiar pit of anxiety.

And we were so close too.

I bit my lip as I put my hand over the knob, knowing it's the only option but I am still is reluctant.

We could get through Natsuki's Papa then we could get through whatever this is.

"Hello! I'm sorry for the-!"

A blur rushes to embraces me.

"Moni! I was so scared to death because you wouldn't respond with your talkie and your text messages I thought you were hurt or killed are you hurt I will kill the man if he ever touched a hand on you and I know you didn't want me to run but I was so scared so please forgive me!"

"Sayori everything is fine, the talkies just died."

I'm lying through my teeth.

"Thank goodness! I was so worried!"

I could feel Natsuki's and Yuri's disapproving gazes behind me.

Sayori looks up from our embrace and runs towards Natsuki, almost tackling her.

"I missed you so much!"

"Hey, Hey, I missed you too but don't try to kill me!"

Sayori giggles and gets off Natsuki and hugs Yuri. The said girl head pets her.

"Don't think I have forgotten about you Doki Protector!"

"Please don't."

Yuri flushes again (I don't know how she could flush too many times without dying) and hides her face with her hair. Sayori giggles, satisfied with her hug.

"What did you guys do? I missed almost everything," she whines. I look away nervously, unconsciously tugging my pants up.

"He just found us before we could leave, so we just used the guns."

"That's so cool! He had no idea what was coming for him!"

Neither did we, but that's a story for another time.

I shut the door as Yuri goes upstairs, dragging Natsuki up with her. I groan before going upstairs myself, a bubbly Sayori behind me.

"Why can't we just leave him there?"

At least Sayori didn't ask why he's upstairs rather than downstairs.

Natuski sighs deeply. "That was what I've been saying!"

"Little to no suspicion," Yuri says nonchalantly. "Now help me lift him."

Yuri and I lift the right side of him while Natsuki and Sayori lift the left. He was heavy, yes, but there was four of us.

We carried him down the stairs and onto his couch where the small television still plays. Beer bottles scatter the floor and given to the fact that he was drunk, makes no suspicion if we set him down here.

Yuri takes the three bullets that were sticking out of his body by their tails. "And we're done here. Great mission everyone!"

Sayori and I cheer while Natsuki looks on in confusion before shrugging and getting ready to go.

"Are you sure it's cool for me to just wear a robe?"

"It's night anyway, nobody will see it."

"We can have a shopping spree tomorrow!"

Natsuki looks down at her cheap robe and to us, flushing a bit. "I never needed any fine clothes but since all my other clothes were thrown away..."

"I already have so many options~ You are going to be so dolled up!"

"Hey! I'm only going because I need clothes! I don't need to be 'dolled up'."

We went out of the house silently looking at the sky. Natsuki and Sayori still planned about the shopping spree while Yuri and I trailed behind.

"How did you came up with it," I whispered. Yuri looks at me, confused. "The distraction."

"O-Oh." Yuri flushes, thinking. "Well, Natsuki said her dad loved sex, mainly with her. So I thought if we pretended to..."

* * *

 _A scream caught the attention of the two girls staying inside a locked room, more specifically Monika's. Natsuki almost immediately grabs the doorknob, but Yuri grabs her arm almost pleadingly._

 _"You're weaponless."_

 _"Who cares! Monika's in trouble. We can think of something later."_

 _Her grip on the smaller girl's arm didn't lessen and the girl sighs, thinking._

 _"Is there something we can do distract him. So he could come up here so I can shoot him."_

 _"No, not really. Especially if he's doing what I think he's doing."_

 _"And what's that?"_

 _"I said, I have a girlfriend!" Monika screams once again, but more passionate. Natsuki smiles to herself, feeling more at ease that her friend has the situation in control for a while. Not like she'll ever admit it._

 _Meanwhile, Yuri thinks up a storm, trying to think of a plan. However, when she does, she flushes. It's quite lewd and requires "lots of moaning" and she wants to stay classy, especially in front of her crush._

 _But her best friend is about to get raped on the floor beneath her. She needs to choose, and quickly._

 _..._

 _Yuri bits her lip, wondering why it's so hard._

 _"Do you have something?" Natsuki says, noticing her fidgeting._

 _"W-What if we pretended to..."_

 _Natsuki gave out a short hum of questioning, raising an eyebrow. Yuri's head sinks lower fearing if she looked up, she'll faint of embarrsedment...and cuteness._

 _Yuri frantically grasps the collar of the black leather jacket she had, practically forcing the words out. Even then, they came out almost mute. "Have...sex?"_

 _Natsuki face heats up, not expecting Yuri to even think of something like that. She wanted to reject it as soon as the words slipped out, but something stopped her._

 _"I am Sayori's and only Sayori's. You have no right to dictate our relationship to please yourself like that. I will never, ever, let you fucking touch me!"_

 _Probably the fear or her best friend getting raped and this was the only idea they can think of before it's too late but who knows?_

 _Both girls could tell that Monika was in trouble and telling by she was talking about Sayori, she's on her last limb._

 _The two girls looked at each other in vain for...something._

 _"F-Fine, just don't get the wrong idea."_

 _Yuri looks up suddenly as if she was surprised she thought about doing her idea but the yells from downstairs made her realize the situation she was in as she grabs and loads her gun._

 _"R-Ri-Right. P-Please, go first."_

 _Natsuki smirks and Yuri's blush gets a little bit darker._

* * *

"Oh, that's why you were studdering."

"I was nervous, okay?"

I laughed, elbowing her slightly. "You saw her naked and pretended to have sex with her. Congrats, Yuri, you're on the right track."

Yuri smiles slightly, overwhelmed with her thoughts and darkening blush. "Thanks?"

"You're welcome!"

We four walked the rest of the distance talking about the mission, avoiding the more sensitive parts. We were all relatively happy completing our little mission and getting Natsuki back, smiling and laughing the entire way. However, smiling and laughing could be exhausting and we were all tired by the time we came home.

"Today's been exhausting," I sighed, sinking into the couch in the living room. Sayori plops down in my lap, sighing from the relief from getting off her legs.

"To be honest, the last two days been exhausting," she chimes in, hugging her knees.

"It's time for a worry-free sleep," Natsuki says from our right, cuddling one of her pillows. She must've gone upstairs undetected for a few moments.

The whole room agreed, well almost the whole group.

Yuri was still by the door, staring at the stars. The door was opened and a gush of wind roams through. Her face looks sad if it wasn't for the smile on her face.

"Yuri are you okay?"

Yuri turns and her smile got brighter for a second before getting unreadable by her blush.

"I'm doing great." She was about to close the door before she jumps slightly in remembrance, looking uneasy. "Didn't we had a ladder?"

We all groan, knowing where she is going with this.

"...do we have to?"

"Little to no suspicion."

We groan again but reluctantly left from our warm home for yet another adventure.

Sayori holds up a dress, a glistening white top with a light pink skirt. Natsuki looks skeptical.

"Oh, this would look so cute on you!"

"Maybe...? I don't usually wear this kind of stuff- Hey! What did I tell you about calling me cute!"

"Don't worry, I'm sure you'll like it!" Sayori hums sweetly, completely ignoring her other comment. Natsuki still looks hesitant but grabs the hanger that has the dress on it.

We were at our local shopping center, buying clothes for Natsuki. We skipped school today just for this, but I can't help but have that nagging unrealistic fear in the back of my mind.

Natsuki currently has on Sayori's clothes seeing that they're similar in size. Their not her style exactly, but she thinks their decent.

"Fine," she mumbles. "I'm going to the dresser room."

"Okay!" Natsuki disappears and I come behind Sayori, holding my own pick of a shirt and sweater, looking at the dresser room with unease.

"She'll be a bit flustered and mad at you when she gets done. You know that, right?"

"I'm prepared Moni! It's for Yuri's sake after all!"

"Yuri-? Oh. I thought we kept that a secret."

"I knew since yesterday! Even though the talkie, I could tell she was very flustered. Plus if I could tell about your crush on me then I could definitely tell her's on Natsuki."

I slightly felt my cheeks get hotter. "Just don't rat out Yuri. She really wants to keep this a secret from Natsuki."

Sayori nods and squeezes my hand, making her blush slightly too. We were new to public affection anyways.

Natsuki stumbles out, trying to cover herself as much as possible with fail. She looks at herself, flustered before glaring daggers at Sayori. Sayori instead gushed.

"You look so cute! Just like a little muffin."

Natsuki heats up more, frowning. "It's not- Just I-people are looking..."

Natsuki shrinks and Sayori jumps to help her friend. "No, it's okay. You look very pretty, right, Moni?"

I nod and Natsuki gets flustered but smiles slightly. "It's just something I don't normally wear, but thanks anyway."

We all knew she was lying but smiled anyway.

Natsuki hated people looking at her when's she's pretty like this, mostly from her papa.

The most she'll ever do is wear skirts, but she's improving.

"You can take it off if you're not uncomfortable..."

"No, I actually like this. I'm going to totally rock this at home."

She went to a nearby mirror and twirled slightly and Sayori grins and compliments her. I wanted to join in but realized Yuri wasn't here. I've could have sworn she was here a seconds ago.

"I'm going somewhere," I say to the now bickering two. They waved me off.

The shop we were in was fairly big, but it was quite easy to spot Yuri's long purple hair.

Except I didn't see Yuri's hair.

I searched the shop for the purple haired girl for 10 minutes or so before stumbling into the dressing room, thinking she might have bought some things for herself. However, I didn't see her and turned to leave.

"Moni?"

And froze.

"Yuri?"

A dressing room door clicked and suddenly Yuri was standing there, flustered and uncomfortable. She steps out, a shadow casted over her eyes.

"You okay?"

Yuri frowns slightly, looking at me. "I think...I almost died."

We look at each other in confused silence before Yuri explains herself, flustered and studdering.

"W-When I looked at Natsuki in that dress, I felt as like my heart stopped. She looked so beautiful! E-Even to the point that I had some...unladylike thoughts." She looked away as if she was admitting some terrible secret. "I think I'm fine now."

I blankly stared at her, before laughing my ass off, not even caring to muffle them.

Either it was Yuri's figure or how mature and adult she was, but it never struck me for Yuri to never have a crush before.

She doesn't even know the types of thoughts she will get having a crush. She's in for a wild time.

"Yuri...th-those are normal. They just show you're more interested in the person," I say. Yuri's face blanks before she laughs with me and the whole dressing room shakes! (Well until an employee yelled at us to keep it down.)

"...I-I thought you know this stuff, Yuri," I say, regaining my breath.

"To be honest...I'm not a huge fan of the romance genre."

Yuri regains her breath, cupping her cheek. Her blush has toned down a bit but is still clearly soon on her face.

"Hey."

"Hmm?"

"Did you did that for me? Give Natsuki that dress?"

"Actually Sayori did." Yuri jumps in surprise as her blush gets darker. "Don't worry she'll won't tell anyone."

Yuri relaxes, putting her hand over her heart before grabbing my arm and pushing me into the dressing room.

"I'll thank her...later. For now, we are going to have some fun!"

"Yuri, what are you doing?"

"Just letting you test on clothes. Now you see, there are three different dresses. I hope I picked out your style."

"...You are trying to get us back, are you."

Yuri's voice sneers dramatically. "You don't know _**the pain**_ I have dealt with for the past two days! 'Doki Protector" and now this! You guys need to atone in your actions."

I recoil in fake horror. "Oh Yuri, how _**dare**_ you!"

"Just a friendly payback~ Now get picking!"

After a while, I picked the third one Yuri picked; a simple green dress with a large leather black belt around the waist. It's too short to my liking, but it won't cause a scene.

I opened the door to see that Yuri was waiting on the other the side of the wall. She looks at me and smiles.

"You look pretty Moni!"

"Thanks! I'm thinking of actually buying it, you did a great job picking out my style."

I stared at my reflection in the dressing room again and smile slightly. It feels different, seeing I don't normally wear stuff like this...but pretty.

It feels weird, seeing that I only wear a shirt and some skirt...but pretty.

It feels familiar, seeing the last time I wore a dress like this was two years ago leaving for California...but pretty.

I felt pretty, for the first time in a long time.

"Pretty..."

I left the word lingering in the air for a while, admiring my new look. It felt amazing and familiar. I never felt this in two years and even before that my parents were forcing me to be pretty, but it didn't achieve the same effect. It felt nice to finally feel pretty again.

I quickly blinked away tears to avoid spending too much time being sad.

I turned to Yuri, who became startled when I turned to her and smiled softly.

I want her to feel pretty too.

* * *

Yuri and I look in the dresser's room mirror, dumbfounded.

"...How did I get talked into this."

"By me saying, 'It would be fun'."

Yuri flushes, looking at her dress. She had on a long white dress with purple butterflies slowly populating from the right side until there was no speck of white on the bottom.

She also had on a simple copper floral headband that the employees said naturally goes with the outfit. And because I wanted Yuri to have fun, I pinned Yuri's hair up in a braided updo. All the look needed to be was some makeup, but we needed to buy it first, and that will spoil our cover.

"...But I can't admit that I don't like it."

"That's the spirit!"

I smiled at myself. I still had the dress Yuri picked for me on but have on a necklace that had one simple gold flower.

It was a Rose Mallow, the one's Auntie used to plant.

My hair was in a french twist braid which was very convenient since it was like a ponytail, but braided. My large white bow stayed where it always was.

I smiled at myself, before frowning at my appearance, catching Yuri's attention.

"What's wrong?"

"I haven't gotten any texts since we were in here. Something's going on."

After the sentence made itself clear in the crisp air, I started to panic. What going on? We were in here for thirty minutes and I was gone looking for Yuri sometime before that there's have to be some explanation why won't they text me something's wrong something's wrong something's wrong-

Yuri squeezes my hand lightly, frowning. "You were hyperventilating."

"Sorry."

Yuri sighs before pulling me out of the dresser's room, her eyes quickly searching for the others. I took some deep breathes, composing myself before looking out myself.

The two was nowhere to be seen.

I felt anxiety bubble up inside me but took some deep breathes to keep it down. Surely they aren't that far, just off to another store. I quickly pulled out my phone and text Sayori's number.

* * *

 _ Sayobae_

 _Moni: Hey where are you we can't see you_

 _Sayo: Oh hey Moni!_

 _Sayo: To be honest we were looking for you too but stopped when we heard giggling from the dressing room_

 _Sayo: We thought you two were having fun, so we went to the other stores!_

 _Sayo: We are coming back anyway, wait there._

 _Moni: Okay! Waiting by the dressing rooms!_

* * *

I breathed a sigh of relief as Sayori replied almost instantly. I can't believe that I almost thought they were missing.

"Sayori said she'll be right here," I say, putting my phone away. I took some more deep breaths, relieved that the situation is over. "I can't wait for Natsuki to react to...'that'."

Yuri turns and flushes, trying to cover her blush with her hands since her hair is currently not an option. "W-We kind of overdid it. They will probably faint from the amount of blood rushing into their heads."

I chuckled and Yuri smiles slightly.

"I mean, we look like we are attending a wedding."

We both laugh at that, trying to muffle our sudden outbursts with clamping our hands to our mouths.

"Heeeeeeeyyyyy!"

We look up to see Sayori running up to us, Natsuki following suit. To our surprise, she had on a dress too. A short white dress with red polka dots scattered randomly. She also had red hearts earrings while Natsuki had her's in pink. She finally stops, cupping her face with her palms complete awe.

"Moni you look so pretty!"

I flushed slightly, averting my eyes. "Y-You too."

She smiles, emitting a giggle or two. "Moni, there's no need to be flustered. Your acting like Yuri!"

She points to Yuri, who is currently flushing twice as darker the normal color.

"S-Sorry, it was just you look so beautiful."

Now it was Sayori's turn to get flustered as she chuckled awkwardly. "Monika you're too kind."

"I'm telling the truth."

We stayed flushing for a while, not really used to stuff like this. I guess this is what Yuri wanted as payback.

"By the way, where did you get those earrings?"

Sayori suddenly perks up, her flush magically decreasing. "There was this place that did ear piercings for free! Natsuki and I had matching earrings there!" She gasps, her sapphire eyes shining. "We should all get matching earrings! It would be super cute!"

"That would be fun," I say, smiling. However, with a quick glance at my side, figured that it would take awhile.

Natsuki and Yuri were looking at each other dumbfounded, their flushes almost blinding.

Sayori seemed to get it to, muttering a simple "oh." I nudge Yuri with my elbow, shotting her a look. She perks up after a while.

"I-I-I like your o-outfit, Natsuki."

Natsuki frowns, acting like she wasn't just staring at Yuri's outfit. "You're decent."

Yuri smiles slightly as if she was actually flattered by the compliment. Their conversation awkwardly drifted off and Sayori and I look at each other worryingly.

"Well, um, do you guys want to go to this ear piercings shop? They give ear piercings for free there, right Natsuki?"

Natsuki hums in agreement, showing off her pink heart.

"W-Well me and Monika still had to pay for our outfits, s-so you guys can get the bags and go ahead."

Sayori nods, taking the still slightly dazed Natsuki by the hand and rushing out of the door. Not much later Sayori texted me.

* * *

 _ Sayobae _

_Sayo: Awh they look so cute together!_

 _Sayo: {Photo}_

 _Moni: How did you even get a photo of them together?_

 _Sayo: Magic_

* * *

I look at the earrings sitting on my dresser five hours later. They were small green hearts. Yuri ended up getting purple hearts for herself too. The piercing progress wasn't that painful and we all actually had lots of fun, except for the awkward conversations with Yuri and Natsuki.

Who knew that today would be so fun, even with yesterday.

I sigh, closing my eyes to remember it all. It's been a doozy, but with Friday coming around the corner we could all finally rest.

A buzz on my phone interrupts me, causing me to open my eyes and grab for it. I blinked, trying to clear the already fuzziness of sleep out of my mind. How weird, I don't remember setting a reminder.

I swiped open the reminder, reading the contents and held my breath, trying not to groan with frustration.

 _ **Reminder: Four Days Till Departure**_


	14. Meeting 3

**_References to drugs and drinking! Also, very gory violence stuff Don't read if your sensitive to any of those things_**.

* * *

The girl quickly gets ready for yet another Friday. Another day dressing up in black. Another day filled with worry. Another day not even knowing if she will come back.

She wants it to end.

Oh god, she pleads for it to end.

But there's still a possibility...

These meetings are killing her, physically and mentally. She loses most of her money and barely has an income with occasionally buying stuff for her friends. She doesn't want them to worry. She can do the worrying for them herself.

She tugs on her hood, covering almost all of her face with shadows. Someone has to take a risk, that meaning herself. She needs to redeem herself from just being too weak. She's pushing herself. She knows if the days won't end, her sanity will. She's pretty sure that he knows that too.

She sits on the window, about to climb down, when she sees a shimmer in the moonlight. The gun she had on that 'mission'. She stares at the vacant gun, thinking. There was only one bullet loaded in the gun and it was too risky to get more. However, she could finally make this terrible cycle end peacefully.

She wanted that more than anything.

She grabs the gun and silently slips out the window, eventually falling to the soft gentle grass.

* * *

She sits uncomfortably on the grass at their meeting place. It's late. It's too late. She had never seen him late to one of their meetings. They were both on time and ready to do whatever they had to do as quickly as possible.

She felt goosebumps along her skin as she shrivers into her sweater, trying to warm herself. The wind, however, brushes against her body, making the sweater useless.

She looks up at the moon, hoping that this situation can dismiss itself so she can just go home. But it never did.

She stayed shivering outside for who knows how long, wishing and hoping that this will end. That she doesn't have to use the gun in her pocket and the phone in her hand. Even after everything. The murders. The shooting. The mistrust. She still believes that her best friend could change for the better!

...

Even if that belief is growing thinner each day. Even if she just declared that she was his slave last week. Even if he robs her out of money every single week and makes her life a living h-

She jumps when she sees a larger shadow in front of her but relaxes when she knows who it is.

"Are you okay, Haru?"

The boy, Haru, only nods and walks to sit in front of the girl, shocking her. He sighs, pulling out his gun.

"I'm too tired for this," he says almost slurring. "Come on, let's go."

The girl frowns, grabbing a fist full of dirt out of anticipation. She had already put her gun in a secure place a while ago. All she had to do is to act normal.

She gets a little closer to him, her eyes gazing over every part of his body. The moment she detects anything wrong with him, she will put him at gunpoint and call the police. Yes...that was the plan.

"Did anyone see you do this."

"No."

"Did you lie about the amount."

"No."

"Do you have a weapon."

"No."

A tense silence grew between the two. The girl almost considered just running for it before Haru sighs deeply again.

He looks up, completely devoid of life. White rings wrap around his brown pupils. His body slightly shaking.

"Hey," he says, his voice hoarse.

The girl snaps to reality to the gentle sound of his voice, so familiar but weird. He hasn't talked to her like this in...forever! She looks into his eyes and immediately knows why. She backs away instantly.

"Haru, what-"

He cocks his gun and she shuts up.

"I didn't ask for your opinion."

The girl turns away, hurt. "Sorry."

He looks at her disgusted before laying down in the grass.

"Life is short, did you know that?"

The girl nods her head, biting her lip. This is weird. Why is he being so laid back with her?

"But with happiness and joy, it could be fulfilling, right?" The girls nod again, thinking about her own experiences with the girls.

Haru gets up again, boring his brown eyes with her's. Silence again.

"Do you think how fucked up life is without any of those things."

The girl's eyes widen as she tries to console him. He groans at her sympathy.

"Stop it, your annoying."

"Haru your-"

"High? Yes. It's your fault, dumbass."

The girl opens her mouth to speak but all that comes out is silence. Haru's gaze is the same, numb and lifeless. It was a gaze knew for a long time.

"I was emotionless for a long time. Not caring about joy or pain. I always thought of taking my own life because it was useless. Until I met her, Monika."

The girl tenses at the mention girl's name as she took a shaky step back. Her gun was so close.

"Monika showed me the light in the world and my first emotion, love. It felt so amazing, to be able to feel anything. So when she declined my confession..." Haru's emotionless gaze turned into a wicked smile. The girl backs away, studdering a reply.

"T-There was no need for you to shoot up the school though! We could have helped you!"

"Your no help to me. Coke does just great."

"It's not-"

Haru stands up suddenly, causing the girl to back away enough to hit a tree.

"Life is fulfilled with happiness and joy. This isn't any of them." He brings the gun to her head, smiling with that same wicked smile. The girl's eyes widen.

"Let's end this, then."

"W-What?"

This wasn't what she wanted at all!

She dodges the first bullet luckily as she stands up to face him. "Haru, your high."

Haru ignores her, frowning slightly. "When she declined my confession, it brought up a new emotion, anger. Do you know how I dealt with my anger?"

"...H-Haru don't."

She dodges yet another bullet as she stares at him, pleading. Unforntantly, she doesn't mean anything to him. She could rot in hell for all he cares.

"Murdering all who took her away from me!"

Haru aims bullets at her feet, making her dance. She dodges them barely.

"Haru," she pants. "This isn't healthy! None of this is!"

Haru stops his merciless punishment on her for a moment. The girl perks up, the tiniest glint of hope in her eyes.

"I bankrupt you. I murdered your family. I am about to murder you. And yet...you still stupidly think I have a chance to...'redeem' myself. Why is that?"

The girl stared on in wide-eyed shock. Wait, why is she doing this? Pleading to save him. Letting him emotionally drain her. There should be no logical explanation.

And yet...there is.

She looks him right in his white ringed eyes. "This isn't you, Haru! You, the real you, wouldn't do this! Snap out of it!" Bitter tears washed over her face while her form shook wildly as she tried to convince him. No, convince herself, that he simply isn't the monster that he is.

"Please..."

Haru looks on unamused as the girl quietly wept.

"You don't get it, do you? I'm emotionless. Barren. Empty. The only reason why I became your friend was that I needed to act normal. Now I only need Monika." He shoved her into a nearby tree and her weeps only could be heard as a whimper.

"Get over it, Sayori."

The still dazed girl, Sayori, dunks just in time for another bullet to miss her skull. Instead, it brushed over her hood, making it fall limply to her shoulders. Her coral hair shines in the moonlight.

She wipes her eyes and quickly hid from him behind yet another tree, thinking for any plan. But she was still dazed and his words stumbled into her head again. It shook her to her very being. She was friendless until the literature club. Her very first friend was a lie.

Sayori wondered what else was a lie. Her friends. Her family. Her life. What's stopping her from just stepping out there and letting herself get shot?

A bullet hit the side of the tree she was standing behind of. A few wood splinters plunged themselves into her skin, but thankfully not the bullet. Still the feeling of splinters in her face and warm sticky blood running down her face wasn't pleasant. She thought to run and find her gun before thinking about something else.

She hid it in the dirt near the tree Haru was currently standing by. Going close was assisted suicide (which if she very thinks about it wasn't really a bad thing, but she realizes that her friends are waiting for her and suddenly wants to prolong her death just a bit) so she runs far into the woods as possible to have cell phone connection.

Haru surprisingly takes his time and walks, causing Sayori to have a lead.

She runs for a good while and hides in a nearby shrub, pulling out her new cell phone. It was almost identically to her old one because she went to the mall last Saturday to get it completely customized. To the last 'Doki'. She even had her old phone number transferred to this one if others got suspicious if she had a different number.

She goes to her contacts and frantically tries to find anyone who lives here. Monika was, unfortunately, the first one and she decided to just to keep her voice down. It wasn't like she had anyone else.

Monika responded by the second ring. Despite her overworking problems, she was actually a very deep sleeper. She deserved that sleep too, so Sayori normally wouldn't bother her. Except this wasn't anything normal.

"Mmm... Why are you awake, Sayo?" Monika eventually says, drowsy out of her mind.

"Hehe, sorry! I was just not tired."

Monika lets out another yawn before composing herself from over the phone. If Sayori feels a pain of guilt of waking her so early she doesn't show it.

"Are you outside? I figured that it's really windy out there!"

"Yeah, I'll be fine." She mutes the phone as soon as she hears a bullet flying over by, followed by the tormenting of Haru's voice. He's not far away.

"Anyways," she says, unmuting the phone. "Do you know where's the nearest police station is at? There's no wifi where I'm at."

"Is Natsuki's dad targeting you. I swear when I get my hands on him..."

"Oh no... I just need to...deal with warrants!"

Sayori could practically hear Monika's unease over the phone.

"...You know you could tell me anything, right?"

Sayori's guilt washes through her very being at Monika's sad tone. Still, she can't vent now. Haru might find Monika's number again and it was very annoying and scary

Sayori sighs. "I'll tell you everything when I get back," she whispers. "But this is very-" She mutes the phone yet again as a bullet shoots into the bush almost inches by her. "-very urgent."

She could hear Monika sigh from over the phone. "The nearest police station is ten minutes by our house. Be safe, Sayori. I'll be waiting."

Sayori smiles slightly. "I will. Love you."

"Love you more. Bye."

The phone call disconnects.

Even if Sayori wasn't the best at math, even she knew that it will take longer to reach the station. This part of the woods was far from her home and him shooting her on the sidewalk was out of the question. Poor outsiders would probably get hurt and it would be all her fault.

Calling the actual police was a no too. He would kill her on the spot and leave the scene afterward. He's skilled in his evil act, too skilled.

So that left the only option, to get him herself.

Since he's away from the tree momentarily, she could run as fast as she can to dig it out and shoot him. Then she could call the cops and get this situation over with.

He's skilled, but Sayori's willpower overpowers it tremendously.

She peeks out from the shrub to see that he has gotten tremendously closer to her, only a few more steps until she was fully his.

Using only her flight-or-fight responses, she guns it.

A trail of gunshots flies by behind her, pecking at her feet. One actually skins her ankle causing her to fall and land her face. She was very close anyway, so she didn't mind as much as she should have. She scrambles behind the tree, her tree, and looks around for...

"The dirt pile!"

A small hill of dirt was just in front of the tree, the same dirt she grabbed with her fist. Thank the stars she used a landmark. She wouldn't see if he didn't skin her ankle and it was too small to actually mean anything, but still.

She digs up the dirt pile eagerly and to her relief finds her gun. It was already loaded (thank god) and set up to her advantage.

She never actually used a gun before, not even knowing how to cock it (it was cocking, right?) nevertheless shoot it. So she just clutched it in her hand, ready for anything.

Haru was waiting for her too, gun in hand. Truth be told he was on his last bullets. He couldn't resist himself, having Sayori scram and scream was the highlight of the day. However, the fun has to end soon.

"When are you giving up. You can't fight forever."

"I'm not going down to the likes of you!" Sayori frowns, trying to cock her gun. Was it already cocked? Sayori had a hesitation to pull the trigger and Haru can see it all around her.

"It's a weakness," he says, completely ignoring her last retort. He walks towards and given her posture she wasn't going to step back. "Your kindness is a weakness. It makes you vulnerable to people like me."

Sayori pursed her lips together, not knowing what to say. Her mind keeps on echoing it's true, but her heart is saying that kindness won't work on anyone. But she doesn't want Haru to be that 'anyone'.

"So I'm going to say again, I'm not your friend. I'll never be your friend. Got it, bitch." His white ringed eyes dilated as a wicked smile is plastered on his face. His body shook wildly of excitement. "Sayonara."

"No!"

Sayori tries to shoot her own gun, but Haru grabs it and turns her to her side, banging her left arm against the tree. She could feel the warm blood trickle on her arm as she yells in pain. But no time for that, Haru aims for her head only to get her shoulder.

Sayori bites her lip and pushes him away from the arm she hasn't injured. Then she kicked him his foot, causing him to drop his gun. He wastes no time and punches her, causing her to bang her head against the tree stump and fall on her butt.

She holds down on her wound to keep her from bleeding out. He had shoot three bullets near the same place, creating an even bigger hole. She grunted in pain, trying to keep consciousness, before searching for her gun. Unfortunately for her, it was nowhere to be seen. Her eyes glided up to Haru, who towered over her.

In his hands, her gun.

"A non-lethal. How sad." He pulls the bullet from its tail, throwing the gun away. "You're really hopeless, aren't you?" He laughs silently.

Sayori frowns at him as if this was a normal conversation. Even if she wants to live, she wasn't that afraid of death. She spent too much fantasizing over it to be afraid. But dying hurts (she's currently bitting her lip to keep from screaming all those insensitive words that her mother said to never say, even to her deathbed) and she had a question or two to the man she once called a friend.

"What are you going to do? We both have no bullets left and if you wait until I bled out, morning will come," she says, slightly slurring. She looks over to the horizon which already had a purple hue that proves her point.

It was true, Sayori was going to die before the sun comes up, they both knew that. However, Haru didn't have until the sunrise. The police are still looking for the crack addict.

And then he grips the bullet in his hand.

"Don't worry, this will only hurt a bit."

Sayori whimpers because she's already in an extreme amount of pain right now. He rolled his eyes, finding her attempts for mercy annoying.

He jams the tranquilization bullet in the shoulder wound, muffling her to not give out their location.

Sayori's eyes widen as she screams, the pain was the worst thing in the world. It suddenly became harder to breathe as she tried to claw him off her with no avail. The world gets blurry. Was it her tears or the bullet? She doesn't care, she just screams and screams until she couldn't scream anymore.

Haru just waits until she falls limp. Her fight was annoying for him. It wasn't like she could stop him, so why even try?

He stretches, looking at the sky. The purple sky was now a whirlwind of purple, blue and yellow. He spent too much time here. His eyes glide to the fainted Sayori. Oh how he would love to just finish her off, but it's just not worth it. Oh well.

He runs off to the sunrise.


	15. 12

_The clouds seemed to cry as we walked towards the station. The sky was a dark gray as gentle tears pelt the world below. If it wasn't for our umbrellas, we would have gotten soaked._

 _I stayed silent, tightening my grip on my umbrella with each step. I knew where we were going and I hate it._

 _A light song snapped me out of my thoughts. I look over to see Auntie humming a song. She had on a white sundress with scattered purple flowers. Anemones, exactly. Auntie went on a rant earlier about Anemones and how they mean to live in the moment. She wanted to remind herself, no, both of us that. I, myself, was wearing a bright yellow sundress._

 _"You're singing that song?" I question, blushing slightly._

 _"It's my favorite," she says simply. "I know it's your favorite too~"_

 _I blush more, looking away. "I mean, it's a good song. It's just-"_

 _"Why don't you sing it with me?"_

 _"Sing?! My voice is barely that good!"_

 _"For fun. I don't care about your voice anyways."_

 _I studdered to form an answer while Auntie pulls out her phone to play the music from. She grins as it_ _starts to play,_

 _"Twinkle little star. You must keep flowing~ You will twinkle fully, and keep flowing. As beautiful as you are~"_

 _I flush again, knowing completely who she's singing for. Auntie only gives me a kind smile._

 _"Is it wrong to sing to the people I love?" she asks during the instrumental._

 _"N-No. I'm just not used to it yet."_

 _"You're going to get used to it soon," she smirks. I smile lightly. Knowing her, she's is going to make it happen. Before we both knew it, the short instrumental was over and she sings again._

 _"With the love that just started walking on. And like playing music~ I believe, in whatever shape. The sun will rise, it must."_

 _As she sung the first verse I realized she did this on purpose. The song explains our situation completely. She's trying to give me confidence by combining it with music._

 _I let the smile on my face grow. I swear, she could be so corny sometimes._

 _"So, are you nervous?" She asked when she finishes, turning down the music a little._

 _I bite my lip. "Yeah, it's going to be hard with nobody around."_

 _We approach the station as I feared. I clutch onto my umbrella again, this time not without Auntie noticing. She motions me to stop._

 _"Deep breaths, Mons. You're going to be just fine."_

 _"I just don't know that I could go on without you! Especially when Mother said that I couldn't contact you anymore since you are not on her side of the family. You were my only supporter! My only real friend! I don't think that I can-"_

 _Auntie pulls me into a hug, letting me cry onto her chest. Her phone still plays the music and the verse, "It's alright, how the future will be," soothes me. It was like it knew exactly what I was feeling._

 _We stayed like that for a while before I realized that my train will be arriving soon and parted. Before we went into the station Auntie gives me a piece of paper._

 _"If it ever gets bad, visit me."_

 _In her hands was her address._

 _"But I'm forbidden-"_

 _"Please Monika. I will be very sad if anything happened to you."_

 _I stared at the piece of paper in hesitation before taking it and putting it in my pocket. "Okay."_

 _She smiles and leads me up the stairs._

 _We could rest our umbrellas since our station had a cover from the rain._

 _Auntie sits on the benches, leaning her head against the wall. We listen to her music, the song had been looped at least five times now. I didn't want to force myself to talk and Auntie didn't push me. With her, today seems almost like a normal day._

 _But it isn't. I didn't want to leave. I'm not ready to leave. Just please let me stay another year. I'll do anything! Mother, Father, please! I'm afraid. I'm afraid. Someone save me! I don't want to be alone. I haven't mature enough. Oh god, I'm going to die out there. I'm gonna disappear without ever making a single friend!_

 _"Monika, your crying."_

 _I felt my face and indeed, warm tears soaked it. I wiped them quickly._

 _"Sorry," I blushed. Before we both could say another word, the train rushes in loudly. I stood up, ready to go in._

 _Wait, why can't I go in?_

 _Wait, I am not ready to go in yet!_

 _Auntie places a hand on my shoulder._

 _"It will be alright."_

 _"...I-I-"_

 _I hugged her tightly, never wanting to let go. I can't help but feel my tears wash my face again._

 _"I will miss you," I whisper after pulling away._

 _"I will miss you too, Mons. Now shoo, you're going to miss your train!" Auntie smirks but I could see the tears in her eyes too._

 _I quickly got my umbrella and went on the train, waving goodbye. Luckily, the seat that I had was a window seat and I could still see her. She was still waving, still had her small smile, and probably still had her music playing._

 _The train started moving again and I had to accept the fact that I will be away from Auntie for a long time. But before that could happen, Auntie, opened her mouth to say something a final time._

 _She mouths her last words as the world turns black once more._

* * *

Buzz! Buzz!

I groan, turning over. It's probably a notification. It's too early for this. My phone buzzes again and finally got up. 5:30 am. It's the weekend, right? Who could be calling now?

I read the caller id drowsily. Sayori? Isn't she home?

I answer anyways, too sleepy to think of anything else.

"Mmm... Why are you awake, Sayo?"

"Hehe, sorry! I was just not tired," she says rather hastily. She also sounds like she was out of breath. I guess she ran somewhere.

Wait, did Yuri say something about telling people if you're going outside?

I yawn, rubbing my eyes. "Are you outside? I figured that it's really windy out there!"

"Yeah, I'll be fine." Sayori's line suddenly goes mute for a few seconds. Is her phone broken? Is she ok-

"Anyways," she says, her line suddenly unmuting. "Do you know where's the nearest police station is at? There's no wifi where I'm at."

A surge of fury rushes through me. "Is Natsuki's dad targeting you? I swear when I get my hands on him..."

"Oh no... I just need to...deal with warrants!"

My angry demeanor vanishes and unease creeps onto me. Sayori with warrants? I frown, somethings up.

"...You know you could tell me anything, right?"

Both lines go silent.

Sayori's voice goes down to a whisper. "I'll tell you everything when I get back. But this is very, very urgent."

I sigh, knowing I won't get anything else anytime soon. "The nearest police station is ten minutes from our house. Be safe, Sayori. I'll be waiting."

"I will. Love you."

"Love you more. Bye."

The call disconnects.

I sat up in bed, concern washing over me. I look over to my alarm. "...5:36." The unease is too much to just sleep it off.

Is she okay? Something's wrong. She has been muting her phone for a while. What if she did have a warrant? I'm a bad girlfriend. I can't do anything to help. I...

..I need my anxiety medicine.

I stumbled into the kitchen, downing a pill and some water. Even though the anxiety died down, my concern didn't. She was acting weird. I should just check up on her...

But that feels like a thing a girlfriend would do... Wait, I am her girlfriend!

I quickly throw on my clothes. It would only be for a second. I hope I'm not being overbearing.

I texted Yuri to inform that I was leaving and left the house silently.

* * *

I walked quickly along the road, trying to call Sayori. She won't answer back which causing me to unknowing quicken my pace. Gosh, Sayori answer your phone.

She was just here. She was just fine. No, why wouldn't she answer her phone is she alright, dummy. I can't. I cant. I cant-

"Oof!"

I trip over a rock, hurting my knee. I wince in pain, before looking up to-

Wait...

"...Where am I?"

Trees cover the area in front of me, making it hard to see anything else. Though some bushes and shrubs litter the ground. It looks desolate, I wonder why.

A light buzzing sound lingered through the air. I picked up at my phone (that thankfully didn't crack) to see that I was still trying to reach Sayori. The buzzing might be Sayori's cell.

A new hope brightens as I lifted myself up and followed the sound in hopes to find Ms. Vice President. If I could hear her phone, she couldn't be far, right?

I stared up at the sky. The whirlwind of purple, yellow and blue indicated that the sunrise is starting. It's alright Monika, she's okay. I bit my lip and continued.

"Sayori?" The skip in my step quickens as the buzzing gets louder. I call out to her again, although she never responds.

I tried to stop my hands from shaking in fear. Merely it's nothing that bad. But why doesn't she respond or call me? Why isn't she at home? What is she doing here?

My pace goes even faster as I try to block out all my questions.

My calling gets more frantic as there was nobody to calm me.

My fear keeps escalating and escalating to the point that I can't breathe.

I forcefully stop myself. I try to catch my breath but each breath is painfully inhaled. Tears gathered in my eyes as fear gobbles me up. I could hardly gather my own racing thoughts nevertheless try to speak.

But I pushed through.

Auntie's favorite song was Viator by Rianos. She used to sing it to me and I always had to get flustered. I wasn't used to anyone loving me when I was...myself.

Her, no, our favorite verse was 'The sun will rise, it must'.

The sun wasn't out yet. The sunrise was only just beginning. But... It will rise again. And so will I.

Slowly but surely, I caught my breath and most of the fear evaporated away.

Noticing that my phone was left on Sayori's voicemail, I dialed Sayori's number again. Light buzzing came from the trees and I followed it once more.

I walked towards a small clearing that was clear from some trees. The buzzing was louder than it ever been, so I guess this is it.

I held my breath, praying for the best.

"Sayo-"

Sayori was sitting by a tree, her shoulder was impaled with one of the tranquilizer bullets which was bleeding profusely. Her face was cut by woodchips and splinters. In the corner of my eye, her other arm was bruised and was slowly turning into a deep purple.

I gasp silently before running to her. Untying my hastily done bow, I pull out the bullet and put pressure upon her shoulder wound. Even with her being unconscious, she winces in response.

I silently reassured her before looking at her other arm. It wasn't as injured as her left arm but was steadily bleeding on her limp hand and out of her fingers. I silently curse myself not having anything to help her with.

I fumbled with my phone to call the police. My voice shaking and cracking with worry. As soon as they said they'll be there I hung up and texted our group chat.

 _We are the Literature Club!_

 _Moni: Get to the hospital as quickly as you guys can._

* * *

Somehow, I don't feel like crying.

I don't feel like shaking or worrying either. I just feel numb with guilt.

October 10th. Three more days and I have to spend them like this. With Sayori injured in the hospital.

I haven't even told them yet.

I sigh, staring at the clock in the waiting room.

"Monika!"

I turned towards the large doors to see Natsuki and Yuri rushing in. I waved and shone a small smile.

"We got your text and ran as fast as we could," Natsuki said when they reached me, panting. "Is she okay?"

"She's fine," I said waving them off. I could practically feel both girls relief as they sighed in unison.

"You never said why is Sayori here in the first place," Yuri says as she sits in the seat by me. Natsuki sits next to her, causing Yuri to flush slightly.

"She probably did something stupid again," Natsuki comments and we all laughed lightly.

...

I shifted in my seat as two sets of eyes glance over at me, the laughter dies down.

...

"...She did something stupid, right?"

Silence.

"...Is it that bad," Yuri shyly questions.

"She'll be fine."

More light silence develops between us three as I gather my thoughts. I took one breath of courage as I faced them.

"I think... Sayori was attacked by you-know-who."

Natsuki and Yuri's eyes widen as they realized the situation. After recovering from their shock, Natsuki tenses.

"That motherfucker! We already have a lot of shit on our plates, we don't need him to pile them up more!"

"Natsuki calm down. You're shouting," Yuri whispers. Natsuki glares at her.

"Don't you care!? Sayori was his childhood friend! For him to throw her on the ground and treat her like shit disgusts me. She _trusted_ him, Yuri!"

Yuri stares at the ground, clearly defeated. However, Natsuki wasn't done yet.

"You!" Natsuki points at me and I jump back in surprise. "Why aren't you doing anything!? Your fucking girlfriend almost got murdered and you just sit here thinking it's _okay_?! What's wrong with you!"

I stared at her with wide-eyed surprise as she realizes what she just said and shrinks.

"I...I'll be right back."

She wipes the angry tears off her eyes and hurries to the bathroom.

Natsuki's words still rung in my head as she left and yet, the numbness is still there. The reason why I am like this because this is somehow isn't the only thing on my mind. There is still that nagging guilt and that damn date ringing in my head.

I sigh, composing myself in my seat again. Maybe I am a bad girlfriend...

"Are you okay?"

Yuri was staring at me, frowning slightly. "I swear Natsuki can be so inconsiderate sometimes..."

"I get her. We all care about Sayori in different ways. Lashing out was just one of those ways."

Yuri nods in agreement. "Still, can't say she's the best at these conversations."

I laughed. "How you're feeling?"

"Oh, I want to break every bone in his fucking body for even laying a finger on Sayori. Sadly I realized it's too risky so I wish to put him in jail for the justice we deserve," she whispers coldly, a wisp in her voice. "Oh! A death sentence would be nice too. He killed so many people... A taste of his own medicine will surely show him who he's messing with~"

"Good to know," I say rather hurriedly. Yuri sure gets very violent sometimes. I wonder what else messed up tortures she has.

"H-How about you," she says regaining herself suddenly. "You saw her after all."

"I don't feel anything. The trip is occupying my mind more."

Yuri gasps as she remembers. "I have forgotten you booked that! I was just too caught up with freeing Natsuki and now this..."

"Don't worry, I've forgotten too. This week was really intense." I ran my hand into my hair. The bow forcefully threw away because the doctors didn't want anything bloody near Sayori. I guess I buy one later. "But this trip is in three days now and we still haven't told them anything."

Yuri bites her lip worriedly. "We haven't really..." She thinks for a second before her eyes light up. "What about tomorrow."

"Tomorrow?"

"Today we focus on Sayori, god knows she really needs it. But tomorrow we have to tell them. No butting out."

I smiled slightly. "Tomorrow it is!"

* * *

"Hey."

We looked up to see Natsuki standing in front of us. She has been in the bathroom for forty minutes now. Relief rushes through me as I see she's fine.

Natsuki frowns, looking away. "...I'm sorry for yelling at you guys. I-I guess I was kinda rude."

"It's okay," Yuri immediately says. She catches herself and flushes. "I-I mean you were angry b-by that fact he did that s-so I forgive you."

"Yuri has a good point Natsuki," I say, winking at Yuri for a split second. Said girl gets flustered more as she hides her face with her hair. "You're off the hook."

"Yeah, thanks you two...I mean it."

"N-No problem!"

"No problem!"

Natsuki goes to sit near Yuri again and we sit in silence for probably the thousandth time today. Things are really quiet without Sayori around. I never noticed since she's by my side all the time.

"Monika?"

A voice that was neither Yuri's or Natsuki's ringed through the room. I look up to see a nurse calling my name. She smiles when she sees me.

"Sayori is allowed to see visitors now. Would you like to see her?"

"May my friends come?" I say, glancing at Yuri and Natsuki. She nods.

"Very well, her room number is 207. I must warn you though, she might be loopy from the painkillers for a few hours."

I thank her and she walks towards her next patient without another word. I look back to Natsuki and Yuri.

"Why does she have painkillers in the first place?" Natsuki asks. I sighed.

"She didn't exactly have one injury..."

Natsuki clenches her teeth. "Of course..."

Yuri stands smiling slightly. "At least she's alright." She wasn't nearly as enthusiastic as Sayori, but she at least reassured Natsuki.

"...Yeah."

"Let's go then," I say, getting up as well. "Sayori's waiting for us!"

* * *

"Moni, Natsu, Yuri! Hellooo!"

We all stood at the doorway blankly as Sayori shines a lopsided grin.

She was fine for the most part. Her left shoulder seemed to be stitched up fine. Luckily there was no damage to any bones or veins. Her right arm was broken through and was safely secured in a blue arm cast. Her face was riddled with small bruises from the woodchips. Her forehead was wrapped in bandages.

"You...okay?" Natsuki asks hesitantly. Sayori nods enthusiastically.

"I'm more than okayyy, I'm great~ Loook, they gave me a blue arm cast!" Sayori shows her arm cast proudly, giggling. I notice a slight slur in her voice and noted to not bring up some stuff today.

"I'm glad you were okay. We were really worried for you," I say, kissing her on the cheek.

"Ohh, you shouldn't worry! I didn't feel a thing! They put me on this medicine thingy that makes me feel very happy inside~"

Revealing how sedated she is. I honestly believe they put her on too much on that stuff.

Sayori goes on to talk about lots of random stuff for in her sedated haze. I tried to talk her into sleeping it out but she is pretty defensive.

"I never felt like this before so I want to test it outtt Moni! Everything's so weird like thiss~"

"You're slurring," Natsuki points out. Yuri tries to hush her.

"EH?! Noo I'm not! I'm perfectly-"

Sayori's phone rings suddenly. She reads the caller idea and immediately pales.

"W-What?... I thought..."

"Are you okay?" Yuri asks. Sayori nods absently.

"I...Um...need to go to the bathrooom!"

She suddenly runs out of the room, phone and monitor in hand. Unease quickly crept upon me.

"...Was that who I think it was?"

Natsuki sighs deeply, pinching the sides of her nose while Yuri nervously shifts on her seat.

"I'll go check on her," I say. Natsuki and Yuri nods.

Wandering in the hospital, I try to search for a loopy Sayori. She wasn't in the office or the waiting room. The nurses didn't see her either. It wasn't much time till I searched everywhere I was permitted to go. Sayori was missing again.

The only room I haven't checked was the bathrooms and I was too scared to do that with other patients around. I took a deep breath and grabbed the doorknob. I guess I just had to deal.

The first thing I heard was the sound of quiet sobbing. It broke my heart when I recognized the sweet voice.

"Sayori?"

The sobbing suddenly stopped for a moment. "M-Monni?"

"Yes, I'm here."

Sayori sniffles before unlocking her stall, the one in the far right. She holds herself, looking away. Her phone is noticeably cracked on the floor.

"I'm sorry."

"For what?"

"For everything." She shrinks as she inhales a shaky breath. "I'm sorry for the phone call. I'm sorry for lying and hurting you. I'm sorry for _thisss_." She shakily points to her broken arm.

"I forgive you."

"I don't need forgiveness."

"It wasn't your fault, was it?"

"I still agreed with it."

We both were silent for a moment, realizing what slipped out of her mouth.

"...Agreed with what?"

Sayori gives another shaky inhale. "...A promise so you guys won't get hurt by him in return with cash. A promise broken. Oh god, I'm so stupiddd. I've should've known."

"Sayori..."

"I'm sorry."

"Has he hurt you before this?"

She looks away, shaking slightly. Her reply was almost inaudible. "I endured them for you."

I hugged her instantly, causing her to gasp silently.

"Don't ever say that again! We're a team, remember? I can take hits too."

"...You don't understand Monika. They're too powerful for you to handlee!"

"They're too powerful for you to handle either!"

Sayori was silent for a moment, her tears hitting my shirt. "O-One has to take the blow, you know."

"I care for you too much to let you do that."

Sayori chuckles lowly. "...Moniii, you care too much."

"It's my duty as your girlfriend."

"Thank you for being my girlfriend, then."


	16. 13

Sayori got admitted out today.

It turns out that she also had a concussion, but it wasn't that bad. All her other injuries seemed to heal quickly except for the shoulder and her broken arm. The doctors told her to not move the stitches too much or they'll give out.

She also recovered from her pain medication today and told us everything. Sayori and Haru used to meet up every week for seven months. These "meetings" consisted of Sayori giving him her hard owned money for drugs. She risked her life every Friday for the promise of him not hurting all of us.

Now that promise was broken and Sayori was still feeling the effects.

Even though she tries to hide it, she blames herself. She blames herself for the deaths of Natsuki's, Yuri's and her own family members. She blames herself for how deceitful Haru was. She blames herself for everything.

I wish I can just stop her from blaming herself on everything. It hurts to see her like this.

"Are you feeling alright."

"I'm fine."

Sayori stares on blankly while we walked home. She's been quiet ever since she had that phone call. We both knew it was dangerous for her to be left in her own thoughts but she still did anyway.

I walked beside her, not knowing what to say. I think she doesn't want me to say anything.

The sky was a blend of orange, pink and purple. The sheer beauty of it made me look on with awe. Sunrises are very pretty, aren't they?

"...I guess they are," Sayori whispers causing me to realize that I said that last part out loud. I felt my face tint. We both stopped to stare at the sun slowly rise. I started to hum Viator unconsciously.

After a while, Sayori started to hum with me.

I stared at her in slight surprise as she hums along. She meets my gaze and flushes slightly, realizing what she's doing.

"Viator was one of the songs I listened to for motivation," she says after a tense silence. Her voice was still a fragile whisper. "It helped me keep going most days as it easily became my favorite."

"It helped me too," I say slowly, thinking of yesterday's events. "Such a calming song always seemed to calm my nerves."

"More than Melody?"

"More than Melody."

Sayori giggles and for a moment, the rainclouds clouding her face cleared. The small but bright smile that appeared on her lips made my heart swell in joy.

But as quickly as it came, it left.

"I kept it a secret because I thought it was lame listening to piano music, nevertheless piano music from an anime. But now seeing you know it..." She trails off, flushing again.

"I kinda kept it a secret too. We're even!"

Sayori shines a small smile. My heart ached in happiness once more.

The sun was almost in its rightful place in the sky when I came up with an idea. Smiling, I wordlessly say my goodbyes to the sunrise as I turned to Sayori.

"Let's take a detour."

"Are we even allowed to be going here?" Sayori asks. We were walking on a dirt path again. A different one from when I found Sayori at.

"We won't be going alone. We'll be fine." I skipped through the plain area, practically wanting to run. This is one of my favorite places in the world. Sayori follows close behind, trying to keep up.

Soon enough we met a large glistening blue lake. My smile grows uncontrollably large as I sat near the lake, looking at my reflection. Sayori follows suit, shining a small smile.

"Do you remember this place?" I say. Sayori gasps, acting offended.

"Of course I do! We had our datester here and toppled over in that there boat." She points to an old wooden boat sitting by a small docking area.

"And almost got eaten by a bear," I added smirking.

"And got lost while our cell phones were dead," Sayori added, raising an eyebrow.

"And almost got killed as the zoo animals ramage the zoo."

"And got on the train right before it broke."

"And gave Natsuki twenty dollars each for losing a bet!"

We both laugh. "How did she know that it will turn out that bad?!"

"She's psychic!"

It was technically our first date, but it ended up in a disaster. (Except when riding the rhinos. They're super cute!) We called that date our datester because we didn't get anything done. However, it was one of the greatest days of my life.

Being with my girlfriend while handling a shitload of shenanigans is always so fun.

"You know, I actually planned on confessing on you here," I say. Sayori smiles lightly.

"But then I spluttered that I liked you at a sleepover."

"You are usually super flirty when you're sleepy."

Sayori laughs again. "Well, you're flirty...like... all the time."

"Is that so?" I kissed her, proving her point.

"...Very flirty."

"I can't help that I love you~"

She kissed my forehead gently. "I love you too."

Sayori and I watched the lake silently for a few minutes before she speaks again.

"Life is short, did you know that?"

"Sayori wha-"

"But with happiness and joy, it could be fulfilling." She continues, ignoring me. "Do you know how fucked up life is without any of those things?"

"Sayori..."

"Haru said that to me once, saying that he was emotionless. He had to act normal for people. He was my friend because he felt obliged to, n-not because he wanted to." She chokes up on the last sentence as I watch helplessly. She wipes away the tears on her eyes before continuing.

"It made me think how similar my life was to h-his. How we both acted 'normal' because we didn't want any attention drawn to us. How we didn't have a-a lot of happiness in our childhoods. How we both met the literature club and was truly happy. And still..."

Sayori takes a shaky breath, turning to me. "A-And still, he chose to t-throw it all away...for you."

She couldn't take it at this point, sobbing heavily into her hands.

I frowned, brushing her hands away. "Hey Sayori, do you remember my break up?"

Sayori's sobbing slowed as she tried to speak. "With him?" I nod and she grimaces. "Yeah. Haru almost destroyed the whole literature club."

"Want me to tell my side?"

Sayori suddenly looks up, disbelief in her eyes. "We..I...You-!"

"I'll be fine. I moved on, obviously."

Sayori stares at me hesitantly as she nods. I chuckle for a bit, remembering old memories.

"It all started when Haru confessed..."

* * *

 _"Will you accept my confession?"_

 _Haru bows, a smile plastered on his face. I froze, staring at the love letter in my hand to Haru. My mind blanks._

 _What's going on?_

 _Haru is confessing to me. Haru is confessing to me._

 _I try to reciprocate feelings for him, but somehow, I can't. Only a longing for a long friendship exists in me for the man in front of me. And that seems to be fading, seeing how he's been acting for the last few days. However, I sense feelings for-_

 _I felt my face tint. I can't think about her, not now. I need to focus what's in front of me which is..._

 _Haru is confessing._

 _Fuck._

 _I bit my lip, thinking. I declined many confessions because I was 'popular' and all. Still, this was a friend of mine. I don't want to break his heart._

 _"I accept."_

 _I answer half thinking. What am I'm doing? I don't want this. I don't want this!_

 _Haru stands up and pulls me into a hug, beaming._

 _I can't break his heart, not now._

 _It'll break mines too._

* * *

 _I was walking to the club when someone grabs my arm. I relax when I see who it._

 _"Oh, hey babe," I say._  
 _I cringe inside, the word disturbing my very core._

 _"Hey, where are you going?"_

 _"To the club? I thought you were going too."_

 _"Heh, to that dump? Let's go somewhere more fun."_

 _"Eh?! The literature club isn't a dump! ...I thought you liked it."_

 _"I like you!" He pecks my cheek in which I flinch to. "Come on Monika, they'll be fine without us for a day."_

 _I don't want to make a scene. I need to be perfect and if it's with him..._

 _"Sure, take me where ever you like."_

 _I wanted to go to the literature club today...Sayori is there._

 _It will be alright Monika, You'll see everyone tomorrow._

 _You just have to tolerate faking a relationship until then._

* * *

 _I try to think about other things while making out with Haru. Tolerating it is easier than breaking up with him._

 _I don't know if I can break up with him._

 _I'll think I'll have a panic attack if I do. Oh god, he'll never be my friend again. And then Sayori, Natsuki, and Yuri will follow suit. I'll be friendless again. I'll-_

 _I pulled back, pulling my shirt down._

 _"No! What the fuck was that?!"_

 _"Don't say you didn't want it."_

 _"I didn't! Listen, Haru, we are only one month in our relationship. I don't think we're ready for that..."_

 _"Oh..." Haru frowns, averting his eyes. My heartbeat quickens._

 _They won't be friends with me anymore. They won't be friends with me anymore. They won't be friends with me anymore. They won't be friends with me anymore. They won't be friends with me anymore. They won't be friends with me anymore. They won't be friends with me anymore. They won't be friends with me anymore. They won't be friends with me anymore. They won't be friends with me anymore. They won't be friends with me anymore. They won't be friends with me anymore. They won't be friends with me anymo-_

 _"I'll talk to you later," I say rather hurriedly. I quickly ran up the stairs to hide my tears._

 _I pulled Haru by the arm and dragged him outside the clubroom._

* * *

 _"What's wrong with you?!" I whisper harshly. Haru frowns._

 _"I was just teasing her." I stare at him and he looks away guiltily._

 _"You and I both know that it wasn't teasing." The quiet sobbing from the clubroom proves my point. "You shouldn't lash out at her like that, she's your friend. She's our friend."_

 _A tense silence grew between us both as I stared him down._

 _"If only you knew..."_

 _"Know what?"_

 _"Sayori tried to get with me. I only lashed out on her to prove my dedication to you."_

 _My frown dissipates, in its place with confusion. Sayori wouldn't do that, would she?_

 _"...What?"_

 _"She said awful things about you, babe... Saying things like your confidence was a fake and that you're really pathetic on the inside..." My breath hitches as anxiety rush through me. She knew. She knew. She knew. She knew._

 _"B-But she wouldn't..."_

 _"I didn't know that she was like that either but you have to trust me. You trust me, right...?"_

 _I glanced through the clubroom door's window, to the sobbing Sayori and the comforting Natsuki and Yuri. I held my breath, tears somehow escaping my eyes._

 _They can't know. I won't let them know! Even if I have to..._

 _"I-I do."_

 _He kisses me and this time I didn't dislike it._

 _"That's my Moni."_

* * *

 _"Where are you going, babe?" Haru shouts from the kitchen. I sigh, I just wanted to just slip out from his guard._

 _"T-To school. I have forgotten something!" I impatiently tap my foot on the floor, waiting for him to just drop it._

 _He didn't, of course. He comes over and frowns instead._

 _"Are you going to that literature club. That club's full of liers and hypocrites."_

 _I scowl at his words. Sure, I haven't talked to them in a month but I want to become friends again. The literature club was my safe haven, my home. I realized from the time I was holed up in Haru's house that I still wanted it to be._

 _"I realized that I never had a proper goodbye. Can I just slip in for a bit... Please?"_

 _He was silent as he decided his choice. A glimmer of hope appears in my eyes as I smiled at him._

 _"...Fine. Just don't stay long."_

 _"Yay! Thank you!"_

 _I rush out the door as fast as I can, pleading that they haven't ended the club yet. The school was a short distance away from Haru's house, but it still was tiring to run the entire way._

 _I stopped as I reached the clubroom, panting furiously. A wave of anxiety rushes through me as I saw all of them having fun inside. They wouldn't want me back. I should just go back home..._

 _Just before I was going back home, the door suddenly opens. A very familiar vice president (president?) pops into view, pouting._

 _"Stop annoying us. I thought we agreed to disband next- Monika?!"_

 _Sayori was even more beautiful than last month. Her sapphire eyes glistened with tears as she beams._

 _"I-I never thought you'll come back."_

 _"Well, I never thought I'll see you again."_

 _Sayori beams before remembering the past month. Her smile vanishes as she backs away instantly, reaching for the door._

 _"You still aren't mad at me, aren't you?"_

 _"Actually, we need to talk."_

 _"Oh?"_

 _"Break up with him."_

 _"Eh?!"_

 _"You can't let him just control you like this, dude," Natsuki whispers. "Letting him decide where you go, decide who you talk to, even letting him look at your messages isn't normal. That's even not considering if your right about him lying to you..."_

 _I stared at the two. Yuri sits at a desk, fidgeting with her hair. Natsuki leans against the closet, blowing the hair out of her face._

 _Sayori had asked to get some air beforehand. I have a feeling that she's not coming back._

 _"I-I agree with Natsuki on this one. Your relationship is unhealthy," Yuri says. "You have to break it off or this abuse will get worse."_

 _I felt my breath hitch. I thought they would just say "You should just have a talk with him" or "Everything's will be alright soon!" I didn't expect them to say break up with him. I grip my shirt tighter as I tried to think of a response._

 _"Monika, please. We care for you."_

 _"We won't force you into anything if you don't want though... It's your call."_

 _This was I wanted months ago! Now I have a valid excuse to break up with him! This is what I wanted all along!_

 _But...I love him._

 _I groan in frustration as I tried to stop myself from crying. My heart is confusion. Why do I love him? Do I still love Sayori?! Wait, do I love them both?!_

 _Natsuki and Yuri look on in worry as I began to sob. Was it because of confusion? Frustration? Denial?_

 _"Monika are you-"_

 _"I'll be fine," I choked, smiling slightly. "Just... I'll think about it."_

 _Yuri whispered in Natsuki ear hesitantly. She perks up, quietly thanking Yuri for whatever she said. Yuri somehow becomes more flustered than before._

 _As my sobbing died down, Natsuki began to write something down, tearing out a page of her poetry notebook. "Here," she says slowly, flushing a little. "Stay safe, dummy."_

 _I hesitantly took it, thanking her. She averts her gaze and rolls her eyes._

 _I smiled walking home, wiping my remaining tears. Natsuki has given me the literature club's numbers._

 _I made our first group chat that day._

* * *

 _Two weeks._

 _I have waited two weeks to gain my confidence and strength. Now, I think I can do it._

 _I'm breaking up with him._

 _I'm breaking up with him!_

 _I'll...do my best? I don't feel like doing my best on a thing like this. My heart still longs for him._

 _I have to do this._

 _I have to do this._

 _I don't want to do this._

 _"Haru? Can you come upstairs please?"_

 _"Coming!"_

 _I cupped my mouth as soon as the words came out my mouth but the cheerily reply still came afterward. I suddenly felt sick to my stomach as infinite possibilities came to mind. My oxygen levels suddenly dropped as I began to gasp and choke. I couldn't even control shaking rapidly._

 _The door opens and in came Haru, oblivious as ever._

 _"Monika? Are you okay?"_

 _"I'm f-fine," I say, trying to control my breathing. Deep breaths Monika, deep breaths._

 _He sits down, rubbing circles on my back but I move back. "I need to talk to you."_

 _"About what, babe?"_

 _"About us."_

 _His kind demeanor vanishes. "What did they say?"_

 _"They?"_

 _"Those bitches over in that literature club who else!" He curses under his breath. "I shouldn't have let you go over there..."_

 _"STOP BLAMING THEM ON EVERYTHING! They did nothing wrong..."_

 _"They did everything wrong! They lied to you, Monika. They talked about you behind your back and had 'accidents' to embarrass you!" He sighs, squeezing my hand. "Why do you still stick up to them rather to me?"_

 _My heart broke at his frown. I thought about just dropping the subject for now, but I refuse. I need to do this, for both of us._

 _Rip the bandage off._

 _Rip the bandage off._

 _Rip the bandage off...!_

 _"Y-Your lying."_

 _"W-What?"_

 _"I-I can see through you Haru. I can see that your lying. And if you have to...l-lie... to get your way then I think we need some time apart..."_

 _The squeezing stops. "What?"_

 _"I-I think we s-should break up, Haru."_

 _He stands up, glaring daggers at me. I immediately turn away, not trying to cry in front of him._

 _"Fucking Hell!" He throws a glass from my desk dangerously close to me. I jump, looking at the glass remains._

 _"That could have hit me!"_

 _"You're staying here at any cost. You don't know what you doing by leaving me-"_

 _"I decided already. O-Our relationship wasn't healthy..."_

 _"WHAT ABOUT MY DECISION!?" His voice booms through the wall. A few tears turn into uncontrolled sobbing as I broke in my bedroom._

 _"I'm sorry I yelled at you, Monika," he says, his voice noticeably quieter. I whimper at his gentle tone, knowing that it was the last time I'll hear it. "It's just-"_

 _I look up at him, trying to stop my tears. "Just let me go, please."_

 _He tries to grab my arm but I pull it back. His eyes were full of hurt before turning into pure hatred._

 _"Fine, just go. I'll get you back later."_

 _I still went home, only turning to him to say one thing._

 _"The literature club forgives you, Haru."_

 _"Tell them to go fuck themselves."_

 _I solemnly nod and walked out the door, shutting the door behind me._

* * *

"Haru shot up the school a few weeks later. I cut all complete contact with him after that. In fact, I never actually saw him again." I smile bitterly, knowing that Haru has seen a few people after he disappeared. "But do you know what differs from you and Haru?"

"What?" Sayori still had a tinge of sadness in her voice. However, her tears were dried from hearing my stories, which pleased me.

"That I actually wanted to be with you. Gosh, you were all I could think about back then. I was so hopeless!" I pause, thinking. "Wait I'm still hopeless, subtract that." Sayori and I giggled at my little remark before we got serious again.

"Seriously, you're nothing like him. You're kind, friendly and actually respect me. I wouldn't have come back if you were like him. I really love you, Sayori."

Sayori and I both flushed but giggled. Sure, we weren't used to affection but it felt so sweet in our hearts.

"Yuri and Natsuki too! If they haven't convinced me to break it off, I would have been farther from you. I didn't even know it was that bad..." I smile bitterly again, seeing how oblivious I was the first time. I shouldn't have my friends notice the flaws in my relationships before me. I'm so stupid...

But I still broke it off at the right time. That's a plus.

Sayori places a hand on my shoulder, recognizing the scowl on my face. She looks at me embarrassed, a light flush on her face.

"Hey."

"Hmm?"

"Do you still love him?"

I frowned, eyeing her. "I love you more."

"I know that, silly." She playfully flicks my nose, smiling slightly. "But somewhere, somehow, do you still love him?"

I froze.

I remember after breaking up with Haru, I still felt like I truly deeply loved him. I began thinking irrationally. I cried for hours days at a time. I even stopped going to school for a period of time.

I can't deny that I loved him dearly. I will never deny that.

However slowly I started going back to school. Then, to the literature club. Even after Haru shot up the school, I kept going.

There were slow steps and there were times I stopped completely just to sob loudly and to yell why the fuck is this happening to me. But I kept moving.

I believed something will come out from all of this. Something will come out from this hurting and suffering I went through. What I'm still going through, really.

Words can't describe how thankful I am to have Sayori, Natsuki, and Yuri my best friends. The Literature Club is really all I need to be happy anywhere. It's that 'something' that I have been striving for so long.

Now that I think about it, all those screams, fights and sobs were worth it. The longing in my heart for Haru is gone and now replaced with the love I have for my club mates. The love I have for Sayori.

I have truly found my special day.

"Not at all."

* * *

"Oh, you guys came back?" Natsuki rubs her eyes, drowsily staring at us.

"Did we wake you?"

"No, I was going to help Yuri make breakfast anyways."

"You passed out on me!" Yuri yells from the kitchen.

"It wasn't my fault that you keep me awake last night!"

Me and Sayori glance at the two for some kind of explanation. Natsuki flushes when she realizes her mistake.

"What did you guys-"

"GET YOUR HEADS OUT OF THE GUTTER, BAKAS!"

"W-we weren't doing anything l-last night, I-I swear! I-It was just an m-mess up on N-Nats part."

"Nickname basis I see~"

"Shut up Monika!"

I laughed, shutting the door behind me. Sayori wordlessly takes off her shoes, though I could see a hint of a smile on her face.

"So, how are you feeling Sayori," Yuri says finally stepping out of the kitchen. She looks like she regained herself minus the light flush still burning on her face.

"Better than earlier," she replies honestly. "Though I am still slightly tired from all of those pain medications they gave me. They're not fun at all!"

"I told you to sleep it off," I say.

"But it was fun then!"

I sigh, head patting Sayori. She pouts, conflicted with her own emotions.

"Anyways how long till breakfast will be ready."

"About an hour since someone didn't wake up in time," Yuri mutters. Natsuki sticks out her tongue. "Why?"

"Well, I need to talk to you guys about something..."

Yuri eyes me, surprised. I nod at her, knowing what I'm doing.

I have to do this, there's no perfect time than now.

Yuri eventually smiles at me, respecting my decision.

However, Sayori and Natsuki glanced at each, unease creeping upon their faces. "The first time you did this we all moved in together..."

"And the second time you did this our whole families got murdered!"

The air in the room became thin suddenly. The girls seemed to get self-conscious, averting their eyes.

I would say that it isn't that bad, but it is. We have never been that far apart before. Me moving to Florida might not only hurt the literature club but our friendship itself.

So instead I said, "It's not about killing or murder. I-It's just...saddening."

Natsuki and Sayori lifted their heads up, their eyes sparkling and about to brim with tears.

"Come on, tell it then."

Yuri walks over and places her hand up. "I've got this," she whispered. I give her a thankful glance.

Yuri clears her throat, closes her eyes to take a deep breath, and readies her self.

When she opens her eyes, she's too were brimming with tears. And yet, there was burning confidence in those purple veils.

"M-Monika's going away in two days!"

And instantly, it all clicked.


	17. 14

"Oh..."

Sayori and Natsuki glanced at each other, smiling nervously.

"Oh."

As we stood confused, Sayori and Natsuki chuckle to themselves. Tears began to prick in their eyes from laughing too hard.

Oh...hehe...that took long enough!" Natsuki finally exclaims, looking at us through blurry eyes.

"We were wondering when you were going to tell us!" Sayori giggles. "It's two days before your trip silly!"

Yuri quickly gets flustered. "Did you guys knew already?" They nod.

"We knew since the outing last week!"

Yuri's blush gets darker as she stammers. "Y-You listened to our conversation?!"

"Sayori. Accidentally."

"Hey! You listened too!"

"You dragged me into it!"

"Hey, hold on!" I say, stopping the two from bickering. "What's actually is going on?"

Sayori turns and chuckles awkwardly. "Maybe we should tell them the full story." Natsuki seemed to consider this and nods.

"It was after I came home to the mall that one day."

* * *

 _Sayori smiles once she gets in the house, knowing she's safe. She just brought a brand new phone from the mall, exactly like her old one._

 _Haru just sold her old one, which sucked since she liked that one. It also sucked because she's almost a thousand dollars in debt thanks from him selling it._

 _She stares at her phone, smiling sadly. The things she does for that man._

 _She puts the phone in her pocket and looks around the house. It seemed too quiet and lonely. She is pretty sure that Monika and Yuri should be here._

 _Instead, she found nothing._

 _Sayori frowns, knowing that they are here. She races upstairs, trying to find the two._

 _Mine's..no_

 _Natsuki's... not there_

 _Yuri's... nope_

 _Monika's-_

 _Sayori freezes when she sees the light on in Monika's bedroom. The two light voices ringed into the small hallway. Yuri's was filled with worry while Monika's was full of reassurance._

 _Sayori frowns knowing that it was a serious conversation. She hopes that they are okay. She only wants the best for her friends._

 _She was about to walk to her own room before Monika says something she'd probably didn't want to hear._

 _"I...um... bought plane tickets already."_

 _"Oh. When are you suppose to leave?"_

 _"In two weeks."_

 _Sayori mutes her gasp, turning back towards the room._

 _Monika's leaving..?_

 ** _Is it because of me?_**

 _She couldn't breathe, nevertheless move. It felt like her whole world grounded to a halt. She wouldn't know what do with herself without Moni. She would've died if wasn't here._

 _And now she's leaving. The truth echoed into her very core._

 _"Monika, isn't that too late of a time?" Yuri starts again suddenly, snapping Sayori out of her thoughts._

 _"It's the earliest in my budget," Monika says calmly._

 _"I could easily-"_

 _"No. I promised myself to not take other people's money. This trip is my responsibility."_

 _This trip is her... responsibility? And why Yuri's not against it? This whole conversation is making her head hurt. Nevertheless, the conversation goes on._

 _"But-"_

 _"No 'buts' Yuri."_

 _Sayori hears Yuri sighs deeply._

 _"Very well." Yuri's voice is close to tears at this point. Sayori fights the urge to go comfort her. "Anyway, when do you plan on telling them?"_

 _"I don't know... I want it to be as soon as possible. But still, I want the other stuff to sink in first."_

 _She's talking about the...deaths. Sayori could her feel her mood spoil more thinking about them._

 _She backs into the wall, trying to not turn into a crying heap. She knows that all of this is caused by one person. The person she's working for. The person she loves and yet wants to curse his name over and over._

 _It's_ _her_ _fault._

 _Her own fault._

 ** _She deserves to die._**

 _"Sayo-"_

 _She looks up to see Natsuki looking worriedly at her. Her breath hitch as she thinks of a solution. Suddenly she grabs Natsuki and ran towards her room, locking the door swiftly._

 _"Sayori what-" She takes one look at Sayori and her angry demeanor vanishes. A frown appears on her face. "What's going on?"_

 _Sayori turns to Natsuki, trying to keep a smile on her face. It crumbles and eventually, she does too._

 _Silent sobs racked her body as sinks. The happy reality she wanted in her mind couldn't fathom this news._

 _She didn't even realize that someone else was there until they pulled her into a hug._

 _"E-Even if I don't know what's going on. Just know that I'm with you too." Sayori could hear Natsuki's hesitation in her voice. And yet, she still bothered to calm her. "Even if I don't act like it, I-I care for you dummies."_

 _"Natsuki..."_

 _"Shush. Don't talk if you don't feel like it."_

 _Sayori nods slowly, feeling another wave of sobs ready to spill any moment._

 _Even with her heart filled with grief, she still felt happy that she had great friends._

 _"So you're saying that Monika's going far away?"_

 _Sayori nods._

 _"And that he has something to do with it?"_

 _Sayori nods again._

 _"Do you know when she's coming back?" Natsuki's voice hints of anger and sadness, breaking Sayori's heart._

 _Seeing the look on her face as she shakes her head no pains her even more._

 _"Damn. That sucks."_

 _Sayori wordlessly gets up and unlocks the door, surprising Natsuki._

 _"Where are you going?"_

 _"I'm not going to mope around and wait for her to leave! I'm going to make these weeks the greatest!"_

 _She meant it with all of her heart._

 _Natsuki sat shocked for awhile before smirking. "Mind if I help?"_

 _"Nope!"_

 _Wiping their tears, the two skipped over to Monika's room, knocking on the door. Monika answered eventually, pale for some reason._

 _"Moni! Yuri! You're invited to our first annual family outing!"_

* * *

"I know last week wasn't the _'greatest'_ week that we had, but it was fun, wasn't it? All I wanted was to spend fun times with you." Sayori looks up at me teary-eyed. Her voice broke a long time ago, but she still wore a genuine smile.

"Now that I did... I won't be that sad if you go. I have Natsuki and Yuri anyways! I'm sure that they'll take good care of me." She gestured to the two who quickly get flustered. Sayori laughs lightly, turning towards me again.

"What I'm saying is we'll be okay right here. It's not like we'll going to lose contact anyways! We can still call and text each other..." She clasps her hands, trying to keep her sobs to herself. Still, large tears spilled over, bouncing off her flushed cheeks. Her sad smile kept its place.

"Just come home soon, okay?"

Then it hits me. I won't be able to see Sayori's smiles again. Or Natsuki's flustered retorts. Or Yuri's nervous laughter. It never occurred to me that it will hurt so much to part from those little details.

Details flood me by storm. The way Sayori's eyes shines the emotion she's feeling. The intensity of Yuri blush when she hides it with a book or her hair. The tune Natsuki hums when she thinks nobody's listening.

It never occurred to me how much I'll miss them.

Are they thinking the same thing right now? Will they miss the weird details about me?

As I gazed at their faces, I immediately knew the answer.

"I promise."

Sayori's smile grew wider, her eyes sparkling. She sobs again, this time because of happiness. "M-Moni..."

"Run. She'll hold you on that forever," Natsuki chuckles.

"Natsuki! It's not the time," Yuri hushes.

Sayori giggles. "Guys It's alright!"

"You're still crying, this is unacceptable." I sigh under my breath before revealing a small smile. "Let's cheer you up with some frozen yogurt!"

Sayori grins. "Really?"

"It's on me."

And together, we explored the town one last time.

* * *

 _"May I go to the bathroom?" I say, raising my hand. The teacher only nods before going on with his lecture. I hurried out of the classroom and broke._

 _The first year of high school has been hell. It's just like the school back in Florida. Test grades and expectations breathing down my back. Judgemental girls and jockey boys fill the hallway. It seems there's nobody here that doesn't expect nothing out of me._

 _I don't blame them, though. I am the most popular girl in school._

 _It wasn't like I wanted to be the most popular. It started with the expectations Mother gave me. And then the debate club. It's gotten to the point that I cannot take off my mask at all at school. It's exhausting acting on top of things. I just want to be free._

 _Nobody understands that but Auntie, and now she's gone._

 _When my anxiety gets really bad, I usually just break in the bathroom. The farthest one from the lunch room where nobody goes to, of course. I thought about taking anxiety pills to keep this in control, but the truth is I'm scared._

 _I'm scared of what other people think. What other people will say. I'm scared for my popularity to topple, even though I don't care for it much._

 _I'm scared for people to leave me._

 _I'm scared for almost everything people can do. It's amazing how much authority people minds have over me. If they push far enough, I might even kill myself._

 _I shake the thought out of my head, slowly coming out of the bathroom stall. It's irrational to think these things and yet I still do. Is it the loneliness inside of me or the longing to be free? I don't know myself enough to answer that. Thankfully, I don't have time to, anyway._

 _I splash some water on my face, washing off my tears. Smiling, I examined myself to see if I had any evidence of my break down. As per usual, I didn't._

 _I slipped out of the bathroom silently, walking to my class. I've might miss a subject or two in my current class but that didn't matter. I could always just cram everything when I get home-_

 _"Heyyyooo!"_

 _I turned to see a coral haired girl with a small red bow waving at me. She had bright blue eyes and small plump cheeks. Her blazer was strangely unbuttoned, showing the rest of her uniform. She smiles at me when she sees she has my attention._

 _I faintly remember this girl from my calculus class this year. It was hard to tell since she sits in the fair back, often sleeping during lectures._

 _"Hey Monika," she says when she catches up to me._

 _"Sayori, right?"_

 _She nods. "I recognized you from my calculus class so I just had to say hi! Where are you going?"_

 _"Oh, I'm just going back to my English class. Where you're heading?"_

 _"To science," she says, pouting. "It's so boring there! We don't even do fun sciencey stuff anymore."_

 _I giggle lightly. "Now that I think about it, science is quite dull... Just listening to the teacher talk is enough to put anyone to sleep."_

 _Sayori laughs with me. "And my parents wonder why my grades are so low!"_

 _We talked until we have to part ways, vowing to see each other in Calculus after the next couple periods. When she skipped away, I cautiously put a hand next to my cheek. It flushed a light red from laughing too much._

 _Something in me says she's different than my others. Could she be my first true friend?_

 _Ultimately, even the thought of a real friend made me grin._

* * *

I woke up groggily, rubbing my eyes. The faint, soft, light of the sun was peaking slowly through the window. I stretched, yawning quietly before my scanning the room. The other girls were also there. We probably read together until we passed out. Natsuki was sleeping near the closet while Sayori was on the bed. Yuri was nowhere to be found.

I didn't worry much, thinking she was in the bathroom. However, when I went downstairs to get a drink, she was downstairs. She was wearing her gym clothes, a purple tracksuit with a white stripe. When she sees me, she smiles, pointing to the door.

"Want to go on a run?"

I held my breath to not exclaim a loud squeal. "Really?"

"It's your final full day, isn't it?"

I grinned, nodding. My drowsiness vanishes completely. "What are we waiting for? Let's go!"

Yuri and I ran the usual mile, however, instead of going back home, we sat on a nearby bench to regain our breaths.

"It's...haa...great to be back out here," Yuri says facing the sky. "It's amazing how much I missed this."

"It's what's three weeks of not working out does to you!" I exclaimed, full of energy. We both laugh.

"Say, what are you going to do in Florida, anyway?"

"I dunno. Play some games, plant some flowers, explore the beaches. What interesting places are in Florida, anyway?"

"I heard some theme parks are around there."

"Ooo! If we all go up there we can go to Disney World sometime!" Both of us knew that it was an irrational thought. We currently don't have that much money and with a death threat hanging between us and everyone we know and love there's no way we could go.

It's a nice thought, though.

All of us having fun.

But sometimes when all the laughter dies down and everything's quiet I can't shake the feeling of being guilty.

That my friends are going to be sad without me.

That Haru is targeting them just for me.

That I rebelled against everything I was raised with.

Deep down, I'm still that insecure child from six four two years ago.

Is that why I was so against love in the first place? Because I was taught it was an addicting drug that you can't pull away from? In a way it was true but, in my sixteen years in living, I've never felt happier with it! To part from it makes me sad, it makes me feel guilty.

I finally know why.

I finally know why..!

Keeping my thoughts to myself, I looked over to Yuri, who was looking at the sky. It was the time of day for the sunrise, wasn't it? The clouds look sad.

They're sad, just like two years ago.

Without a warning, a droplet falls on the bench. Then another and another, until suddenly, a downpour begins. Yuri and I still stared at the sky. Our hair wet, our clothes soaked, and yet our eyes sparkling.

And while looking at that sunrise, the raindrops, the gray clouds, all of it! While looking at the colorful sky, I remember a past I locked deep inside me. A past I never looked at till now, because that part of my life was I considered over.

A single thought pops into mind, all the others vanishing completely.

I never really had a childhood, didn't I?

Before I knew it, I was spinning in the rain, without a care in a world.

 _They forced me to be the 'perfect student'._

The laughter that was bubbling inside me for who knows long sparked out of my lips, the sound cheerful and light.

 _They never let me have the type of friends I wanted to have._

Eventually, tears came down. Teenager's me pent out frustration and loneliness burst out into a period of sobs I couldn't control.

 _They never let me play games, or watch movies, or love them._

Yet I still laugh and smile because for the first time I realized for the first time that I could still make up for lost time.

 _Jobs and scholarships and work piled upon work depended on my time._

For the first time, I realized that my childhood wasn't out of my reach just yet. I just need to keep going.

 _All this time I was thinking how I needed to be independent and strong, Even with the girls, I needed to cast out things like guilt or anxiety because adults don't think those things. But I'm not an adult!_

For the first time, I realized I never danced in the rain before.

"FUCK YOU MOTHER! FUCK YOU FATHER!" I stared at the sky, hoping that they can hear me. Laughter, tears, and overwhelming emotion danced as sparks in my eyes.

"FUCK WORK! FUCK SCHOLARSHIPS! FUCK JOBS! FUCK IT ALL! SEPTEMBER 22 2001 WAS THE DAY I WAS BORN. I'M SIXTEEN YEARS OLD. I'M GOING TO BE A TEENAGER AND NOBODY IS GOING TO STOP ME!"

I pant heavily, leaning on my knees. It's exhausting to yell but god knows I needed this.

"haaa...haaa...Sunrises...are awesome."

Yuri giggles from her spot from the bench. I realized that she was watching this whole thing and... I even didn't care.

I'm going to make the most out of my childhood, right here right now! Florida's not going to stop me! Haru's not going to stop me! Not even my parents will stop me!

I stood up finally, filled with confidence. The same confidence I had three weeks ago but I don't intend to lose it.

"I'm going to another run," I say. Yuri laughs quietly at my enthusiasm, getting up from her spot from the bench. "Don't leave without me!"

We ran faster and worked harder, moving along the beat-up dirt trail. Laughter sprung out of my lips once again and Yuri's small determined smile accompanied it. The downpour only got more powerful, making the dirt trail muddy. I didn't care.

In the end, I slipped. Mud got all over my gym clothes, the cold muddy sensation making me shiver. I knew I've should be ashamed for dirting my clothes, but I didn't care.

I've longed to do this stuff for the longest time.

Yuri holds up a hand to help me up after regaining her breath for a while. I stared for it before grabbing it and pulling her down with me.

She laughs, brushing her hair back. "Monika you're so immature!"

"That's the point!"

We laughed some more before regaining our breath for the third time today. However, eventually, the laughter died down, leaving us with calming silence.

We embraced the silence before Yuri cuts it. Her voice a gentler tone from the laughing, smiling one.

"Are your parents still...talking to you?" I stared at her, surprised for her to just bring that up casually. Normally we don't bring up my parents a lot. I usually just shut off or avoid the topic anyway.

 _Keep yourself in check Monika. Nobody could see what you truly feel. Nobody could see what you truly have to say. That will only break the illusion._

 _Do you understand, my little girl?_

 _Those are not your friends, Monika. Their poor, dumb, deceitful peasants! Look at how they act! Pitiful!_

 _Now let's go to L̴̨͔͕͙̥͂̑͒̃̆͌͌̓̆̕͝͝ï̸̧̜̝̦̠̣͙̣̳̈́̓͐͆̋͊͑̊̐̏́͊ȩ̵̩̘̰̝̲̖̼͊̓̄̆̊̏̋͋͘̚̚̕͜r̵̟͉̯̮͙̈́͒̍̋͝'s house! He's a much better fit for you!_

 _Breaks are not given when you're a doctor Honey! Now go back into your room and study!_

I hiss while unforgettable memories made themselves known once again. A whirlwind of memories to make my stomach hurl. And yet, I answer her.

"Not anymore. I've deleted their contacts and everything after..."

Yuri solemnly nods already knowing what I was about to say.

"I still feel like their controlling my life somehow. After all, it's hard getting rid of fifteen years of tradition."

"I-I think I know what you mean," Yuri says, sighing.

"Imagine straying from fifteen years of cutting. Or fighting from fifteen years of depression. Or get used to being safe from fifteen years of abuse. It hurts, and you want to go back on solely because it was the 'norm'. It was the only thing you knew won't go away. And when's that's absent you feel like the whole world has been flipped upside down."

She looks at the sky, holding up a palm to catch the raindrops in. "Everything except your heart is pleading to crawl back to it, But don't listen to those. Your heart knows you the most." She smiles, emitting a chuckle. "From this morning I see that you listen to your heart indefinitely."

I smile. "Thanks, Yur-"

Some thunder cuts me off, booming off in the distance. "I think we should go."

Yuri nods, lifting herself up. "If we stay outside any longer we might get sick."

"Oh really?" I say, lifting myself too. "Then we probably get a full on cold when we get home. It's almost a mile away~"

"Don't remind me."

I laugh as we walk home together.


End file.
